


Ice cold - Waking up

by Fleppy85



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 58,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24991429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fleppy85/pseuds/Fleppy85
Summary: After being attacked by a serial killer Sara & Sofia have to spend a long time in hospital to recover. After this their life changes a lot.





	Ice cold - Waking up

Early November

The world was dark like there was no daylight left. Not a pleasant darkness like when you walk around a shore in a warm summer night. This felt wrong, this felt dangerous and painful. It wasn’t supposed to be dark. Something was ticking. A bomb? No, not a bomb, this was a different ticking. Very even. A machine. Somehow the sound was familiar. Like the smell. Not a nice smell. Not stinky more sterile. Could something smell sterile?   
Slowly a little bit of light came into the darkness. Not much, not like a sunset more like a rainy morning with dark clouds and a lot of fog. Yes, it was very foggy. Or like when you open your eyes under water, unable to see clear. Only silhouettes of your surrounding. What was her surrounding? Home? Her bedroom? If so somebody decorated it new. Did she ask somebody to redecorate her home? She couldn’t remember. She couldn’t remember anything. Did she choose white as a dominate color?   
More light. First silhouettes turned into something real. A table. Not hers. White sheets. She would never buy white sheets. She hated them. They reminded her of hospitals…like the smell. And the ticking. Was she in hospital? And if so why? What did happen? Were these legs hers? Why were they placed so strange? Up. And these white…were her legs broken? How did she manage to break her legs? She wasn’t that clumsy. Two broken legs that was like…what did happen to her left arm? Was it broken too? Why were three of her four limbs broken? Did she have a car accident?   
The attempt to move was stopped by…it wasn’t pain. It was stopped by her body, not able to move. There were so many tubes around her. And needles. In her arms, legs, it looked like she was connected to the whole room. This couldn’t be real. She felt like an alien. Like a rabbit in an experimental laboratory. Caught and unable to move. How could…?  
A sudden flashback got her moan. She could remember something. The road. Working on the serial killer case. The sun vanished behind the hills, it was getting darker, cooler, they were close to call it a day. No more evidence, no traces, only a few ideas. Suddenly Sofia called out her name and…Sofia! The last thing Sara could remember how Sofia went down, trying to shield Sara from something and then the world turned dark.   
Where was Sofia?   
How was Sofia?   
The head moving to the right she saw something next to her. Somebody? Somebody was in the bed next to her. At least Sara guessed the white thing she saw was a human. Or it was a mummy.   
She tried to speak but a tube in her mouth made it impossible to get a word out. There was no emergency button to press, she was caught between all these tubes. Ignoring the pain she pulled out a few needles, the tube that was connected to her nose until only one was left. Now she felt better. Free.   
Under enormous pain, shiny stars that stabbed her eyes like sharp razors she sat up, falling back immediately because she was unable to keep her balance. This didn’t work, she needed her legs. With one arms and a very hand in a white bandage she pulled the right leg down.   
Covered in sweat, tears all over her face because the pain was so big she managed to get the second leg down. Done. How was she supposed to walk? Both legs in a cast. Could you walk like this? Well, she’d find out.   
Pulling off the last needle she tried to get up. Ending on her butt again twice she took the last energy she could find and got up, shaking, fighting for some balance. Stars, stripes, strange figures, colors, everything appeared in front of her eyes caused by the pain she felt. With a willpower she didn’t know she had, she lifted her right leg, made a kind of a step, followed by the left one.   
Could anybody turn off the noise? Was it only in her head or was it real? Like a siren. But who could know what was real? All these things didn’t look real to her and she hoped she would wake up soon and laugh about her nightmare.   
Falling the rest of the distance she found herself half on the other bed, half in front of it. Blinking her eyes a few times to get a clearer view she tried to see who was in the bed next to her. Could this be Sofia? It was impossible to tell, the face was covered with bandages just like the rest of the body. The hair. Was it blonde? Maybe. It was hard to tell, it was hard to tell anything for sure when the world was spinning this fast and the pain made it impossible to concentrate.   
She heard a voice. Was she dreaming? Did somebody call her? Who? The voice didn’t sound familiar. And it sounded like she did something wrong. Did she? Was the person in front of her talking to her? Was it Sofia and she sounded strange because of all the bandage?   
“Sofia?”   
Before there was an answer her world turned black again. The last thing she remember was more pain and then she lost conscious again. 

She had no idea how long she lost conscious. A minute? An hour? A few? Fact was when she opened her eyes again and could see, she was back in her bed, all tubes and needles back where they were before and the ticking was back too. Somebody was serious about having her connected to all the machines around her. How serious she found out when she tried to move her arm and realized, she couldn’t move it. She was chained to the bed!   
What the fuck was going on?  
Was she a prisoner? A hostage? Why was she chained to the bed? Just the right arm, the left was free. What can you do with a broken arm? It was useless. Her eyes saw a button. At least she was able to call somebody – if somebody cared that she called. Moving her hand as far as possible she reached the button and fell the inch back into the sheets, she had managed to move.   
A few seconds later a nurse appeared, accomplished by a doctor.   
“Miss Sidle how are you?”  
“Why am…” Why was it so difficult to speak? Her mouth felt like sandpaper. She needed some water. “Water.”  
The nurse went to the table and got her a glass with a straw. After she put the straw into Sara’ mouth the brunette sucked the cold water like she was parched. It felt good, cold, fresh, made her throat smooth.   
“Thanks.” Didn’t they give her something to drink? “Why am I chained?”  
“Because you left the bed three days ago.”  
Three days ago? The doctor had to mistake her for somebody else. She left the bed maybe earlier the day, not three days ago. And could he stop checking her out and look at her eyes when she talked to him? She hated to be treated like a patient.   
“No way.”  
“Yes. You pulled out all your infusions and tubes and left the bed. With two broken legs. In over thirty years of working in hospitals I’ve never seen a patient doing that before. What were you think you did?”  
“I…Sofia?”  
“You mean Miss Curtis?”  
“Is she the one next to me?”  
“You’re alone in the room.”   
Sara turned her head. He was right, there was nobody. But she could swear there had been somebody before. Sofia? Anybody. She wasn’t alone when she woke up…before. That was something she knew and was sure about.   
“Where is Sofia?”  
“In another room.”  
“Why?”  
“Because when you left your bed and walked over to her, you fell on her and that was nothing that did her any good.”  
“How is she?”  
“Alive.”  
“She…she was covered in bandages.”  
“Sorry to tell you Miss Sidle, you don’t look much different. And you’re lucky to be alive.”  
She had the two casts on her legs, one on the left arm and a bandage on the right arm. About the rest Sara had no clue. There wasn’t a mirror and it was more important to her to find out where Sofia was than how she looked.   
“What did happen?”  
“Both of you got beaten up very bad.”  
“I can’t remember.”  
“That doesn’t surprise me.”  
“Wait…Sofia called my name and then she went down. Something hit her side…”  
“A metal baseball bat.”  
“The serial killer.”  
“Yes. You’re lucky to survive.”  
“Has somebody been here to collect evidence?” Sara was amazed that she thought like a CSI. She was beaten up and asked about evidence collection.  
“Yes, three weeks ago.”  
“What? Three weeks?”  
“Yes. You were in an artificial coma.”  
“What’s about Sofia?”  
“She waken up yet.”  
“Is she…will…can…will she be okay?”  
“Nobody can say that yet. You should worry about yourself.”  
“Two broken legs, a broken arm, what else? You made me look like a voodoo doll.”  
“Shattered kneecap left, shattered pelvis, four broken rips, the rest bruised, sprained right wrist, sprained ankles, four broken fingers left, one right, all toes broken, cranial contusion, broken nose, shattered lower jaw to name the mayor things. Plus some internal bleeding. And you lost your baby.”  
“What?”  
“I’m sorry we couldn’t do anything for it. The beating was to severe. You lost it.”  
Her baby. She had been pregnant. Oh god, she had forgotten. The day before…before she got beaten up she found out she was pregnant. She had been horrified first. A baby. She wasn’t capable of taking care of a baby. She was a single with no idea how to raise a child, how to give a child what it needed, no idea of how a good childhood looked like.   
How could she forget about her baby?   
“I lost it?” She knew about her pregnancy less than twenty four hours and she felt like somebody ripped her heart out. Less than a day to change her mind from horrified to somehow happy. The moment she stroke softly over her belly. She remembered. Maybe she did look forward to become a mom. A chance. Not only for the baby but also for herself.   
“Yes.”  
“But…but…this can’t be.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
Tears ran down Sara’s face. She lost her baby. Why? That wasn’t fair. She wanted a better life for it than she had as a child. And what did she do? She let it beaten to death before it was born. She was not only a bad mother, she was a bad person. How could she let somebody kill her unborn child?   
“Can you put these off?” Sara moved her right hand.   
“Will you leave your bed again?”  
“No.” Was this a lie? Maybe. And if she did and something happened to her, she didn’t deserve better. She let somebody kill her child.   
“You can’t get up, you need to rest. And you need to be connected to the machines.”  
“What is with Sofia? Why isn’t she awake?”  
“She has mayor internal bleeding and we have to keep her in an artificial coma for a few more days.”  
“Will she be all right”  
“We hope so.”  
Sara looked at the white something a yard away from her bed. This was Sofia. Somewhere under all these casts and bandages was Sofia. In a serious condition.   
“Can you get my bed closer to hers?”  
“Why?”  
“I…I want…I would like to be closer to her…put my hand on hers so she knows somebody is there and she isn’t alone.”  
“She is unconscious.”  
“Please.”  
“You’re in hospital, the nurses need to be able to reach both sides of each bed in case of an emergency.”  
“Maybe it helps her a bit. Please.”  
The doctor sight. “For a few minutes.”  
“Thanks.” Sara had no idea why it was important for her to be closer to Sofia. Maybe it was because they both had been seriously beaten, maybe it was because she wanted the blonde to feel she wasn’t alone or it was because she needed somebody around after she lost her baby. Sofia had been the last person who was with Sara when she was pregnant. She had been there when her baby was killed, she had tried to shield Sara from the baseball bat. She had tried to save the baby she didn’t know of. 

The next time Sara woke up she heard voices. Unfamiliar voices. Her eyelids were heavy, she didn’t feel like fighting them to see who was around. Probably the doctors. If she pretended to be asleep they might talk to each other about things they kept silence when she was awake. There were a few advantages of playing sound asleep, she found that out when she was a child.   
“I can’t believe she hasn’t wake up yet. Why is she still in a coma?” A female voice, a voice drenched in tears. Very unusual for a nurse or a doctor. She had to be a family member. Sofia’s mother?   
“The doctor said it’s the best for her. This way her body can heal slowly and concentrate on nothing else. They could bring her back but want to give her all the time she needs to gain enough power. She will be all right, Marie.”  
“How can you say this? Don’t you see how she looks? Hell, we can’t even say how she looks because we can’t see her. I haven’t seen the face of my baby since three weeks and I’ve no idea when I will see it again. If I will recognize her. You see the bruises, you see the stitches, how can all these wounds heal?”  
“They will. There might be scars but that are her least problems.”  
“I know. Her kidneys…she will never be able to live her life the way she used to. Dialyses three times a week, the fear that maybe one day this won’t be enough. She can’t work anymore.”  
“Maybe we will find a donator.”  
“You know how long you have to wait for an organ and she isn’t top of the list. It will break her heart to find out she can’t work as a cop anymore.”  
“She can work in the department.”  
“That’s not the same, Marc. You know our daughter, she needs to be outside, she needs fresh air and wants to chase bad guys. She isn’t made for a desk and file folders. She needs action.”  
“Action is what brought her here. She is safer in the department.”  
“We can argue about that but right now all we can do is wait. Wait for her to wake up. The doctor said Miss Sidle woke up twice, I hope Sofia will do the same too.”  
“The garbage men survived, our two here will survive too. We can talk to our baby soon.”  
“I hope so. And I hope the doctor will call us right away when she wakes up.”  
“You threaten them enough to send an ambulance to get you here ASAP when Sofia opens her eyes.”  
“I’m her mother, I worry and I will do everything to be with my baby as fast as possible.”

When Sara woke up the next time it was quiet again. She opened her eyes, it was dark in the room. Only a little bit of light from the streets came in where the curtain wasn’t closed proper. Was it night? Late evening? Early morning? There was no clock to tell her what time it was. Nor was there anything that indicates the date. Had she been sleeping for a few days or a few hours?   
Her legs looked like the last time she had been awake. How long did she have to carry the casts? Also her left arm was still in the cast, her shoulder hurt. Did they mention a broken or dislocated shoulder blade? Not that she could recall it. Or it hurt because she slept for ages in this position. At least she was able to move her right hand and the arm. With only a little bit of pain. How much pain killer did she get?   
Turning her head to the right she saw what was supposed to be Sofia. There was less white. Some of the bandage in the face were away and if it were brighter in the room she could see more of Sofia’s face. The blonde seemed to be in coma or slept. Sara remembered Sofia’s parents earlier…this day? This week? They were here when she was awake the last time. She remembered their fear. The blonde hadn’t been awake. Sara thought she might have slept when Sofia woke up, now she knew she was the only one who had woken up.   
Why didn’t Sofia wake up? How bad was it that she had to stay in a coma? How long did she have to stay like this? Sara remembered her long list of injuries, apparently it was nothing compared to Sofias. Her kidneys. Something was wrong with the kidneys. She needed a new one. Immediately the only picture of the attack came in Sara’s mind. How Sofia went down because the metal baseball bat hit her side. Did it damage the kidney so much that they failed to work? Did Sofia lose her kidney because she tried to save Sara?   
“Sofia?” God, her voice was awful and it was impossible that the blonde answered. But Sara had to say her name. Had to call her. Maybe Sofia would hear her, wake up.   
“So…” This didn’t work. She remembered the plastic glass next to her bed. Carefully she lifted her right hand and touched the table next to her bed. Inch for inch she searched it for the glass and found it. She grabbed it and lifted the straw to her mouth. Water. What a beautiful taste. Emptying the glass she felt better.   
“Sofia?” No answer. “Damn it, wake up! You can’t sleep forever. I know it’s better, it saves you a lot of energy, energy you need to recover but wake up for a minute and say you are all right. As all right as you can be. I…I want to hear your voice. Please.”  
The only answer she got was silence. And the ticking of the machines. Sara’s eyes had been on Sofia the whole time she spoke. No visible reaction. No reason to give up. Her bed was back in the old position, she was still connected to a lot of tubes and got infusions but this didn’t stop her the last time. Neither did the casts. The question was what did it change when Sara got over? Sofia was in a coma and wouldn’t realize Sara was there. And who said she wanted Sara to be there? It was better to wait until Sofia woke up. 

“She is thirsty, she wakes up and she doesn’t talk to us, pretends she’s sleeping. The machine tells me you’re awake, Miss Sidle.”  
“Get lost!” Sara answered with a rusty voice.   
“Somebody needs some water. Maybe she is nicer after a drink.”  
“Whiskey, double.”  
“That’s not exactly what your body wants. Try some water.”  
Sara blinked before she opened her eyes. A nurse was next to her bed, a smile on her face and pouring some water in her glass.   
“How is Sofia?”  
“Better.”  
“Is she awake?”  
“Not yet.”  
“When will you get her out of her coma?”  
“When her body is ready to get her back itself. Don’t worry about her, you have enough problems yourself.”  
“I’m fine.”  
“Yeah sure, let me guess: You want to leave?”  
“Yes.”  
“Lets wait until you lost the casts and can manage the day without morphine.”  
“Morphine?”  
“Yes, you get morphine Miss Sidle. Your injuries are severe and you will stay a little bit longer.”  
“How are my organs?”  
“So far so good. They’re all working and aren’t damage.”  
“Not like Sofias?”  
“Miss Curtis has some internal injuries.”  
“She needs a kidney.”  
“I’m not entitled do talk about her with you, you’re not family.”  
“Her parents were here, I heard them talking. Sofia needs a new kidney.”  
“I can’t talk about this with you.”  
“We share a room, what will you do when she wakes up and wants to talk to you about her injuries?”  
“When she tells us it’s okay that you listen we will talk.”  
“Is there anything I can do for her?”  
“Concentrate on your healing. I’m sure she wants you feel better.”  
“I feel better. I wake up…can I have a clock somewhere? I want to know what time and date it is.”  
“It’s Sunday, third of November, a little bit after ten in the morning. You’ve been here for almost three weeks and will stay at least another two weeks.”  
“Two more weeks?”  
“Yes. Both legs are broken, you need to carry the casts for at least six weeks. We can’t send you home like this.”  
“Are Sofia’s legs…?”  
“Her legs aren’t her problem.”  
“Does she have to wait six weeks after she woke up?”  
“Of course not, she has the casts, it will be six or seven weeks for her too. But like I said, the broken bones aren’t her problems.”  
“The internal injuries…how long do you wait for a kidney?”  
“Depends.”  
“On what?”  
“If there’s a donor who suits you, how urgent is the transplantation. The list of people who wait is long.”  
“And if she finds somebody who wants to give her a kidney?”  
“If the donor fits the transplantation can be faster.”  
“Will she be able to continue her life with a new kidney? Live like she did before?”  
“Depends on how well her body reacts the new organ.”  
“Would one of my kidneys fit?”  
“Miss Sidle, you should think about your own health and let us worry about Miss Curtis.”  
“Would my kidney fit?” Sara repeated her question, trying to stay calm. She hated it when people didn’t answer question and tried instead to shush her like a little child.  
“I don’t know.”  
“Find it out.”  
“You have to talk about this with a doctor.”  
“Get one.”  
The nurse stared at Sara. For a patient who had been more dead than alive two weeks ago she was a very stubborn woman. “Why don’t you relax a little bit more?”  
“Why don’t you call a doctor? Or I’ll press the button until one is here.”  
“I think you’re getting better.” The nurse mumbled and left the room.   
“Finally.” Sara closed her eyes. Why had people make everything complicated? Why couldn’t they just do what you ask them to do? It wasn’t like she talked in a foreign language or asked for something impossible.   
“Miss Sidle, I heard you’re awake and getting better.”   
“Are you the one who made me whole again?”  
“One of them. You’re a masterpiece of half a dozen doctors.”  
“Thanks for getting me back to life. I have a question.”  
“You will recover.”  
“That wasn’t my question but it’s good to know. Are my organs all right?”  
“Well…beside one thing yes.”  
“What one thing?” Didn’t they tell her she was fine? That her organs weren’t damaged.  
“You know you lost your baby?”  
“Yes.” Sara bit her lips. That was something she knew, she heard the voice many times in her dreams, telling her she lost her baby.   
“I’m sorry to tell you that you won’t be able to have a baby anymore.”  
“What?”  
“When you lost your baby, together with all the other injuries…it wasn’t possible to save your life and save the life of your baby. And unfortunately wasn’t it possible for us save your uterus from severe damage. You will still have your ovulation but the ovule won’t be able to stay. Your uterus can’t keep them anymore.”  
Sara had never seriously thought about becoming a mother. She was too scared that she made something wrong, that she was a bad mother. But hearing she won’t be able to have children knocked her out. It was like…it wasn’t her decision anymore, somebody else made the decision and she had no other chance than accepting it.   
“O-okay.”  
“Sorry to tell you.”  
“I prefer the truth even when it hurts.”  
“Your boyfriend hasn’t been here since you’re with us. We couldn’t find any contact information, when you tell me how and where to reach him…”  
“I don’t have a boyfriend.”   
“Any other family member?”  
“No.” She sighed. “The only family I have are my colleagues. Please let them to me in case they show up.” If they cared. Probably they were too busy solving cases to stick around and wait for her to wake up.   
“There is a young man who comes here every day and asks for you. I think his name is Greg. Do you know him?”  
“Yes. Please, please send him in. Even when I’m not awake. I’m sure I will feel that he’s here and it will be good for me. He’s a very good friend. And he’s also a friend of Sofia…she’s the reason why I wanted to talk to you.”  
“I can’t give you any details about her condition, you’re not her family.”  
“I know, your nurse gave me the lecture already. But you can tell me if I’m a suitable donor for her, can’t you? She needs a new kidney, I heard her parents talking about that and I want to know if her body can accept my kidney.”  
“Without tests I can’t tell you. And I don’t advice you to such an operation. Your body had a lot of stress the last weeks, it needs to rest and not another operation that will make it lose an important organ.”  
“If I we wait another month how bad will it be for Sofia?”  
“Even if we had a kidney right now she isn’t stable enough for a translation.”  
“But you can test if my kidney is suitable for her.”  
“Yes.”  
“Take whatever you need for that.”  
“Miss Sidle…”  
“I don’t want to argue with you, I’m supposed to rest. So why don’t you do what I ask you to do?”  
“I take it as a sign you are getting better when you talk like this.”  
“I take is as a yes when you say something like this.”  
“You have another little sleep and I have a look in your files, look if there is a possibility that are a suitable donor. Any wishes for dinner?”  
“Since when can you choose your dinner in hospital?”  
“Can’t say you can choose, I asked if you have a wish.”  
“Ice cream.”  
“That’s a strange wish. I tell the nurses. Have a nice rest.”  
“Find a good answer.” Sara shot back dryly. She had no other choice than staying in bed and sleeping with her two broken legs. He could go wherever he wanted and she hoped he really had a look if she was a suitable donor.   
Why was it so important to her? Why did she want to give a kidney away? Donating a kidney wasn’t like donating some money. She had only two and if the one that was left stopped working one day she needed a kidney herself. Maybe she had to rethink everything. 

“Greggo!” Sara almost jumped out of the bed.   
“Hello Beauty.”  
“You mean hello Bashy.”  
“No, I mean beauty. Am I allowed to hug you?”  
“Try it?” She got her right arm around Greg and pulled him in until her ribs told her, he was too close. But it felt so good. He was here. He had been here every day. He didn’t forget her. He was a truthful friend.  
“Are you crying?” She wasn’t sure if she could trust her eyes. Were there really tears in his eyes? Why?   
“No…maybe…a little bit. Oh God Sara, I’m so glad to see you awake.”  
“I’m not the nicest picture, they gave me a mirror this morning. I look like I got under a train.”  
“That can’t hide your inner beauty.”  
“Stop that. Have a seat.” She petted on her bed, took his hand when he sat next to her. “How are you?”  
“I’m okay, how are you?”  
“I’m getting better. Two or three more weeks and I might be free of casts.”  
“Any other major injuries I have to worry about?”  
“No. The most painful ones are the bruised ribs.”  
“How about Sofia?” Greg’s eyes went to the blonde.  
“She hasn’t been awake.”  
“Shit.”  
“They don’t tell me what she has, I heard a conversation of her parents and they said she needs a kidney. There must be severe internal injuries.”  
“Both of you looked…I didn’t recognize you.”  
“He got us good.”  
“He almost killed you.”  
“Did you get him?”  
“No. He stopped after you and Sofia.”  
“He stopped?”  
“Or left to another city. We don’t know. Fact is we didn’t get him and I feel guilty for that. I wanted to tell you we have him, I hoped it made things easier for you and all I can tell you is we couldn’t bring justice to you and all the others. I’m sorry, Sara.”  
“I’m sure you did all you can do.”  
“I want to do more.”  
“Somehow that sounds familiar.” She smiled. “How are the others?”  
“They worry about you. Like me they got sent away too.”  
“I told them today to let you all in. You’re my family.”  
“Am I your husband?”  
She laughed and held her ribs. Not a good idea. “More my little brother.”  
“What a pity. I could have kissed you awake while you were in your coma.”  
“Did you come along on a white horse, a sword and the head of a dragon?”  
“Uhm, no.”  
“That was why they didn’t believe you’re my prince.”  
“The next time I get the horse, the sword and the dragon head. Do you really want me to kill a dragon for you?”  
“No, I’d prefer when you bring a veggie burger instead a dragon.”  
“I can do that. Anything else?”  
“I ordered ice cream for dinner today.”  
“They won’t serve you any ice cream, for that you have your prince and he will bring you some ice cream tomorrow. If you are awake.”  
“I will. There were only a few hours I slept today. I get back to the livings, Greg.”  
“Good. I like you alive, awake and with a smile.”  
“A smile that looks a little bit…beaten.”  
“Nobody can beat your smile.” He bent over and kissed her softly. “I let you rest, your eyes are tired. Sleep an hour and I’ll be back tomorrow.”  
“Okay. Say hello to the rest.”  
“I’ll do that and they’ll be here soon. Give Sofia my best wishes when she wakes up.”  
“Will do. Take care, Greg.”  
“You’ll be with me in your dreams, my guardian angel.”  
“Could need one myself. Or a prince with a sword.”  
“Prince with ice cream, princess. A prince with ice cream.” He squeezed her hand. Seeing her awake and smiling was the best thing he had seen in three weeks. Finally he knew Sara was better, would be okay. 

Middle of November

Sara pretended to sleep again while Sofia’s parents were in the room to give them some time with their daughter. The doctor joined them and told them about Sofia’s recovery – and Sara listened. They expected Sofia to wake up soon, the blonde was on the list for a kidney but it would take a while before it was her turn to get an organ. Until then she got dialyses.   
When they were alone in the room Sara sat up. She knew she wasn’t supposed to get out of bed, had to stay here, connected to her tubes and infusions. And her legs weren’t exactly trustworthy. How to get to Sofia? Asking a nurse? A waste of time. They had pulled her bed to Sofia once and that for less than half an hour. Both beds were supposed to stand free so they could reach them without a problem.   
“Think like a scientist. How do I get from here to there? No legs, connected to machines. What do I have to get where I want to be?”  
“Sara?”  
Sara stopped breathing? Did she really hear Sofia’s voice? Did Sofia talk to her?   
“Sofia?”  
“Where are we?”  
“In hospital.” Screw the tubes, the infusions and her legs, she had to get over. Now! Getting her legs down, pulling out the needles, she took a deep breath, got up, kept the balance, ignored the pain and made her way over to Sofia with four steps. She crashed on the bed next to the blonde.   
“What…oh god, the serial killer…”  
“Yes. Oh Sofia, I’m so happy you woke up.” Sara hugged the other woman carefully. Sofia was awake.   
“How long did I sleep?”  
“Almost three weeks.”  
“No kidding?”  
“No.”  
“And…Sara…you’re bleeding.”  
Sara looked down. Looks like she didn’t remove the needles carefully. “Nothing serious.”  
“It was serious, wasn’t it?”  
“For both of us, yes.”  
“Maybe you should get these infusions back, there’s a reason why they you to have them.”  
“You kick me off your bed? Do I get a little rest before I have to walk back? You know, it’s only a little distance but right now it’s like a world trip.”  
“Have your rest I don’t want you to fall half way.”  
“Thanks.” Sara took Sofia’s hand and leant into the pillow next to the blonde. Sofia was awake. Now everything would get better. 

“Miss Sidle!”   
Sara looked up. Where was she? She felt how hands grabbed her, wanted to fight them but they were stronger and got her away from…Sofia. Why was she next to Sofia?   
“I’m awake.”  
“Good. Didn’t we have an agreement? You stay in your bed and we don’t chain you.” The doctor didn’t look happy when two male nurses placed Sara on her bed and started to reconnect the infusions to her.   
“She woke up.”  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“Sofia woke up.”  
“When?”  
“I don’t know…but when I heard her calling my name I had to get over and talk to her. Only for a short moment. Before I went back I wanted to have a little rest and must have fallen asleep.”  
“And it didn’t cross your mind to call a nurse?”  
“What for? Your people are not very helpful. If I had called you, you never had gotten me over to talk to her.”  
“It’s dangerous when you walk over.”  
“Get my bed over and I don’t have to walk anymore.”  
“We’ve been through this topic before. And if we find you over one more time you will be chained to the bed until your casts are gone. Am I clear?”  
Sara’s eyes narrowed. The best moment to start a fight. The problem was she knew she had no chance against the doctor and the nurses. She had to do what they wanted her to do. Leaving the hospital was no option, she wasn’t capable to manage her life at home like this.   
“Clear.”  
“Good. Now, how long has Miss Curtis been awake?”  
“Two or three minutes. We spoke a few sentences.”  
“The next time she wakes up please call us.”  
“If I do that will you get my bed closer to hers so I can talk to her?”  
“Did anybody ever told you you’re a pain in the ass?”  
“My boss told me that a few times.”  
“He’s right about that.”  
“Do we have a deal?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good.” Sara smiled. Maybe she learnt politics while she was in hospital. This compromise was a good start. 

“What day is today?”  
“Tuesday.”   
“And we’ve been here three weeks?”  
“Yes.”  
“Did you really press the button to get the nurse?”  
“Yes.” Sara grumbled. “We’ve a deal.”  
“A deal?”  
“I promised to call them when you’re awake. You’re a wanted woman.”  
“They want to tell me what he did to me?”  
“Probably.”  
“Do you know?”  
“They never told me.”  
“That isn’t an answer.”  
“I think it’s better when they tell you. They’re the experts.”  
“That bad?”  
“Do we look like we come from a six weeks holiday trip?”  
“No. More like we had six rounds with Mike Tyson.”  
The door was opened and the doctor came with a nurse inside. When he saw Sofia awake he smiled.   
“Miss Sidle kept her promise.”  
“I hope you keep yours too.”   
“Let us talk to Miss Curtis first.”  
“Shall I walk out?”  
“Funny woman. Miss Curtis, we’d like to talk to you. Shall we bring Miss Sidle out so we can talk in private?”  
“No, I don’t mind when she’s here.”  
“Okay.”  
“I guess it won’t be good. I was in coma for three weeks, you had a good reason why you made me sleep this long.”  
“You’ve a lot of serious injuries. Not only broken and shattered bones, we worry most about your internal injuries. Especially your kidneys. They were so severe damaged that they stopped working. Both. You need dialysis.”  
“What?” Sofia’s pale face got even paler.   
“I’m sorry to tell you this so open and straight to your face but I think you deserve honesty. You’re on the list for a kidney.”  
“I’m…what if I don’t find one?”  
“You have to come in three times a week for dialysis.”  
“Will I be able to work as a cop?”  
“It depends on how your body will react. There shouldn’t be a reason why you can’t work in your profession anymore.”  
“Okay. What about the rest? How much longer do I have to stay?”  
“Like your roommate we would like to keep you another two or three weeks.”  
“Will we be roommates the whole time?”  
“If you want it that way.”  
Sofia looked at Sara and smiled. “Yes. What about you?”  
“Yeah, if they can’t get me George Clooney or Brad Pitt I stay with the blonde.” Sara smirked.   
“They’re nothing compared to me.”  
“She’s smug again, she’ll be all right.”  
“We will give the two of you a few more minutes to talk before we will get Miss Curtis for a few examinations.”  
“Don’t forget our deal.”  
“Of course not, Miss Sidle.” The doctor nodded to the nurse and they pushed Sara’s bed next to Sofias. “Don’t forget your part of the deal.”  
“I don’t.”  
“Good. See you later.” They left the room.  
“You made a deal with the doctor? A deal that got your bed closer to mine?” A wide smile appeared on Sofia’s face.  
“Yes. I want to slap the arrogance out of your face.”  
“You want me close. You like me.”  
“Says who?” Sara took Sofia’s hand.   
“No need for words. I’m glad they let us share the room. At least one good thing.”  
“I’m sorry they didn’t tell you anything better.”  
“When the truth isn’t good there isn’t something good to tell. I’ve to change my life but I am alive. We saw what the guy did to others, we know we’re lucky to be alive.”  
“Are we? I mean lucky.”  
“We’re alive.”  
“We were in a coma for three weeks, we have to stay here longer, there will be a lot of pain, a lot of more visits to doctors and have to change a lot of things in our lives. Things we liked, we enjoyed. I doubt we’ll be able to go for a run this year.”  
“No, but we can walk around the Christmas tree in a shopping center, sit down, drink a coffee and watch other people rushing around. It will take some time until we’ll be back at work.”  
“Yeah.” Sara sighed. She hated the thought of being caught at home. What was she supposed to do? She couldn’t read the whole day and it wasn’t like there were a bunch of friends who came along every day and kept her entertained. Her friends and her family were the same people: her colleagues. And they had other things to do than babysitting her.   
“Happiness looks different.”  
“Just thought it will be quite boring. It’ not like I can leave the house and walk around, go on a short trip to the ocean. When the casts are gone and are replaced by crutches every step will be hard work. Sitting the whole day in my living room, reading or watching TV isn’t exactly what makes my day.”  
“I know what you mean.”  
“You’ve got your family here, they’ll come along.”  
“Yes, for an hour or so, the first week. After that they’ll be too busy, it’s always like this.” Sofia closed her eyes. She was tired after being awake for almost an hour. The first time she was really awake, it wasn’t easy to listen, talk and think.   
“You should sleep.” Sara said, watching Sofia being exhausted.   
“A little bit. They’ll get me soon for tests. Maybe they leave me alone when I’m asleep.”  
“It’s worth a try.”  
“It is. Don’t run away I want to continue our conversation later.”  
“Very funny.” Sara snorted with laughter. How was she supposed to run away? Moving her bed with the pure power of her thoughts? 

“How was our date?” Sofia asked when Sara was taken back into the room.  
“Exciting. Darryl brought me to a room with a lot of men and their attention was focused on me. I did my best to impress them.”  
“Did she impress you, Darryl?” Sofia asked the nurse.   
“Yes. She’s doing a really good progress. If she goes on like this she’ll leave before you do.”  
“What? No way!”  
“She’s slightly over two weeks, you are slightly over three. She’s ahead of you.”  
“That means war!” Sofia eyed Sara. “You’re cheating! Tell me, what are you doing?”  
“I’m not as whiny as you are.”  
“Bitch!”  
“Pansy.”  
“Do me a favor, ladies, stay with the word fights. Anything else delay your leaving.” Darryl smiled and left the room.   
“Will you call a cab every day and visit me?” Sofia asked.  
“Sure, as I have nothing better to do than sitting the whole day here with you.”  
“Actually, no you don’t.” The blonde grinned.  
“Who said I won’t have visitors the whole day?”  
“You did. Or will you invite Greg to stay in your condo? Share your bed with you?”  
“No, he will be busy working.”  
“And you will sit alone on your balcony.”  
“I don’t have a balcony.”  
“Makes it even worse. No reason not to come here.”  
“Do you miss me that much?”  
“Yes.”   
Sara cocked a brow.   
“Don’t look at me like that. You know exactly it’s boring here when there’s nobody to talk. Sure they’ll get somebody else in the room but the last days with you were fun – you know as much as fun as you can have here, with our diagnosis.”  
“Maybe I come along once or twice. Before you have your dialysis.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Tell you how awful it is being home alone, nobody around and finding yourself watching mindless TV shows.”  
“Horrible thought.”  
“Yes.”  
“Got a solution for the problem? We’ll be more or less be caught in our living rooms for the rest of the year.”  
“Blow my head away?”  
“Denied.”  
“Buy a ten thousand pieces jigsaw puzzle?”  
“A possibility.”  
“Talk to you via the internet.”  
“A better possibility.”  
“Meet you every day in a café halfway between your condo and mine?”  
“What do you think of sitting in the garden?”  
“Sixty-seven degrees as an average temperature, could be fresh.”  
“You get a woolen blanket.”  
“And spend my days on your balcony?”  
“In the garden.”  
“You’ve got a garden?”  
“Yes. My parents left their house to me because it was too much work for them. They bought themselves a lovely condo – my old one – and I got their house. I’ve got three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a large kitchen and living room, a little office and a wonderful garden. I think they did this so I feel an urge to get married, have children to fill the house.”  
Sara’s stomach twisted when Sofia mentioned children. Her baby. Gone. And she never even saw it. Never had the chance to say goodbye. Like she didn’t have the chance to get pregnant again, become a mother. It was her life but it was out of her hands.   
“Sara?”  
“Sorry.” She shook herself a bit to get back to reality.   
“Are you all right? You look pale.”  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just got caught in a thought.”  
“It didn’t look like a nice thought.” Sofia wasn’t sure how far she was allowed to go. Sara had never been somebody who talked openly about her problems and her private life. Asking her questions usually ended with silence and tensions.   
“I don’t want to talk about it now. So you have a huge house with a garden and still work overtime? When do you appreciate your house?”  
“When I have a day off and have to clean it. No wait, I don’t appreciate it then, I hate it. It took me two hours to clean the condo, it takes me a full day to give the house a really good clean.”  
“You might need a cleaner for a few weeks.”  
“Probably. Sara, I want to ask you something and please, please think about the answer. I don’t want an answer right away, take your time to consider the positive and negative aspects. There’s no need to rush your answer, okay?”  
“Okay.” Sara looked suspicious. This sounded interested, a little bit scary too.   
“As we found out we’ll both be caught in our places for the rest of the year, which is six weeks and we don’t have a bunch of friends who will come along every day and entertain us. Our friends are working overtime like we usually do. Like I told you there are three bedrooms in my house, why don’t you pack a few things and move in with me? At least until we both can walk better and won’t be caught home anymore. There’s no reason for us to be the whole day alone. You have your own room, your own bathroom and when you feel like being alone you stay in your room. There’s no rule that says we have to be together from the morning to the evening but when we feel like talking to somebody, there is somebody. A real person and not only a voice on the phone. If you don’t feel comfortable with me you can go home and if you don’t like the idea at all tell me, I won’t be mad. It was just a thought I have in my mind for a few days.” Sofia looked carefully at Sara, who had listened with closed eyes. There was no reaction on her face, nothing that told Sofia if Sara liked or disliked the idea.   
“I will think about it. Thanks for the offer.”  
“You’re welcome. Time for a little nap?”  
“Yes. A little nap and after that we’ll have a guest with crazy hair.”  
“Sounds good to me. Sleep tight.”  
“Ditto.” They managed to stay awake a greater part of the day but they still needed a few little naps in between, giving their body the chance to recover and concentrate only on recovery. 

“Miss Curtis?”  
“Yes?” Sofia looked up from her magazine. A nurse stood in front of her bed, next to her a young man. He had short red hair that stood in all direction and with this he wore a very smug and teasing smile.   
“Is this your cousin?”  
“Yes.”  
“Okay, I just wanted to make sure because your parents didn’t mention a cousin or any other relatives.”  
“He doesn’t live in Vegas, he’s from San Francisco. When did you arrive, Felix?”  
“This morning, two hours ago. I had to see you before I told aunt Maria and uncle Mark.”  
“I leave you alone. Sorry to bother you.”  
“That’s all right. I like the fact that you take care of my favorite cousin.” Felix sent the nurse a wide smile.   
When the nurse was gone Sofia looked at him. “What are you doing here?”  
“I missed you, Detective Dazzling.”  
“How did you find me?”  
“I let one of your colleagues arrest me for a little nothing, asked for you and got told you were in hospital. It wasn’t easy to find you.”  
“I thought he’s your cousin.” Sara joined the conversation. This didn’t sound like the story they told the nurse was true.   
“No, he isn’t.”  
“Why did you tell the nurse he is?”  
“Because I’ve the awful habit keeping Felix out of trouble. Pretend to have some manners and say hello to Sara.”  
“Hello Sara.” He grinned at her.   
“Hello Mister Trouble. Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t call a nurse and let you throw out.”  
“Sofia is happy to see me.”  
“Don’t be too sure of yourself, young man.” Sofia grumbled. Maybe she was a little bit happy to see Felix.   
“I learnt from the best. And I brought you something; beside me and my gorgeous smile.”  
“Cut it down or you will leave.”  
“I brought cake.”  
“You can stay if it’s a good cake.”  
“Cheesecake.”  
“You better leave and get us some coffee. Sara, what do you think of coffee and cake?”  
“If it’s not the colored water they call coffee here I’m in.”  
“You heard the lady, Felix. Get us some real coffee. Be a good cousin.”  
“Will I get a kiss for that?”  
“You won’t get a kick in your ass for that.”  
“Nit as good as a kiss but better than nothing. I’ll be back.” He blinked at them and left the room.   
“Explanation.” Sara demanded.   
“I met Felix in San Francisco, or better: I arrested him there. Theft of food. He lives most of the time on the streets, plays songs with his guitar. During the winter months he has a little apartment. He’s a good boy, I had an eye on him, got him out of trouble once or twice, even let him sleep on my couch a few times when the weather was bad. He promised me to follow me when I left to go to Vegas. I told him to stay, as you can see, he didn’t listen.”  
“So basically he’s a homeless guy who has a crush on you, stalks you and pretends to be your cousin.”  
“And brings cake. He is nothing to worry about, Sara. I’m a detective I wouldn’t let a criminal in my apartment.”  
“Theft of food is criminal too. If you see only the law.”  
“We both can see beyond the law. He stole when he didn’t have enough money to get some food.”  
“If you say so, Detective Dazzling.”  
Sofia rolled her eyes. “I couldn’t stop him calling me this. He’s too flirty.”  
“And smug. Maybe he is related to you.”  
“Very funny. One more comment like this and you won’t be invited to coffee and cake.”  
“You don’t have the heart to keep me out.”  
“Don’t dare me.”  
“I won’t risk a real coffee.”  
“And you don’t want to upset me.”  
“I’m not sure about that.”  
“Your future housemate.”  
“When did I say I want to share a house with you?”  
“You haven’t said no so far. I take that as a very good sign for a yes. When will I hear your decision?”  
“When I get my coffee and cake.”  
“That’s a deal.”  
“You’re not supposed to deal, you’re a detective, Detective Dazzling.” Felix came back with three large container that smelled like coffee.   
“Coffee.” Sofia sighed. “Starbucks. I love Starbucks coffee.”  
“Extra large with crème and sugar. I wasn’t sure what you like, Sara so I got a you black one and took some sugar and crème with me.”  
“I take it black, it’s good coffee, no need to add sugar or crème. Real coffee.”  
“What do you get here?”  
“Black colored water with a bitter taste.” Sofia sipped her coffee. “That! That is a real coffee taste! That’s coffee!”  
“Want some carrot cake with it?”  
“Absolutely.”  
Good.” Felix got a carrot cake out of his backpack, pulled a knife out of his pocket and cut three big slices.   
“I ignore the fact that you carry a knife and eat the cake. I’m off duty anyway.” Sofia said. “Make sure nobody else sees it.”  
“Of course. And now tell me, what happened? Why do I have to find you here?”  
“I had a bad day at work. Or we had.”  
“A criminal did that to you? Both of you?” Four weeks after the incident, their wounds were healing but they still looked pretty bad beaten up. The casts, some bandages and bruises plus tubes and infusions.   
“A serial killer. You can say we were lucky.”  
“I need to find this guy and make him pay. Or is he in prison, waiting for the needle?”  
“No, he is free.”  
“I’ll make it my personal destiny to find this man and kill him. Slowly and painful.”  
“You won’t do that. I don’t want to visit you in prison, waiting for the needle. Leave him to the police. If I see you sneaking around, asking for him, I won’t talk to you ever again. I’m very serious, Felix. Am I clear?”  
“Yes.” He didn’t look happy.   
“Good.”  
“I’ll stay in Vegas and take care of you. Looks like you can use a guardian angel.”  
“I can’t tell you where you live, if you want to stay in Vegas, fine. Stay out of trouble or I’ll be the first one who will lock you up.”  
“When you’re back on the streets it will be my honor to be cuffed by you. You don’t have to bring me into interrogation, we can do that at your place, in your bedroom. I’ll be a very, very good criminal and you can interrogate me repeatedly.”  
“Dream on, kid.”  
“You are in my dreams, no question.”  
“Sara? Are you still with us?”  
“No.” Sara was focused on her coffee. “I’m in my personal coffee world, in coffee heaven.”  
“Somebody hits on your roommate.”  
“This somebody brought coffee, he can do with you whatever he wants.”  
“Thanks, you’re a real friend.”  
“Never said I’m your friend. I’m coffee’s friend.”  
Sofia chuckled. “If you move in with me you get a welcome coffee. Starbucks, X-large. They sell coffee beans, I’ll get us a bag.”  
“She will move in with you? What about me?”  
“Sorry, she’s my pick.”  
“That’s why you always pushed me away. It’s not me, you just don’t want men in your bed.”  
Now Sofia had to laugh and held immediately her ribs. Not a good idea. Don’t laugh. Why did she forget this easy rule all the time?   
“You got something very wrong there, Felix. If Sara decides to move in with me it’s only because we don’t want to be alone the whole day, we’re not very mobile for a few more weeks and she’ll have her own bedroom. I don’t want you in my bed because of you. You’re a cute boy, that’s it.”  
“I’m not a boy.”  
“You’re at least fifteen years younger than I am.”  
“How old are you?”  
“Not your business.”  
“Maybe I’m thirty.”  
“No, you’re not.”  
“Did you check me out? Checked my background?”  
“No. You are in your early twenties, not thirty. Don’t lie to me, Felix. I can’t stand liar.”  
“I try everything to change your mind.”  
You won’t change my mind, no matter what you do.”  
“What a pity.”  
The doctor came into the room. When he saw the coffee and the cake he smiled. “This looks like you don’t get anything to eat and drink here.”  
“Nothing that tastes as good as this does.” Sofia said. “Real coffee and not colored water.”  
“Do you want to file a complain?”  
“No, that doesn’t change a thing.”  
“Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Miss Sidle? Time for a little trip.”  
“I hate your trips. You always stick needles in me or do anything else that hurts.”  
“We get some nice x-rays of your arm, legs and ribs.”  
“And take off the casts?”  
“Not this week, maybe at the end of next week.”  
“I don’t like the maybe in your sentence. That means it can take longer.”  
“All depends on your bones. If they heal slowly you will have the casts eight weeks. So far they healed good, keep your fingers crossed it will go on like this.”  
“I don’t want to stay here forever.”  
“I won’t take that personal.” The doctor laughed. He understood that Sara wanted to leave but until she wasn’t able to take care of herself a little bit more, she had to stay. 

“Wow, full house.” Sofia smiled when Felix entered the room. Her parents and Greg were already here.   
“Shall I come back later?”  
“No, come in. Good to see you.” She hugged him. “Mom, dad, that’s Felix, a friend from San Francisco. Felix, meet my parents. And Greg, he’s a CSI.”  
“Hi.”  
“A visitor from San Francisco? What brings you to Vegas?”  
“Mom, if you start to interrogate him I let you throw out of the room.” Sofia warned her mother.   
“I asked only one question.”  
“No, you started to interrogate him. I’m a cop and I’m your daughter, I know you. Stop it right there or we’ll have a fight.”  
“You’re not supposed to fight.”  
“See, don’t give me a reason to fight. Felix, you’re allowed to ignore her questions.”  
“That’s not nice.”   
“I allow you.”  
“Lets say I’ll stop answering when I think it’s enough. I’m here to see Sofia, Captain Curtis. Like she said, we know each other from San Francisco. By the way, I smuggled something in for you. Is this a bad time to give it to you?”  
“Depends. What is it?”  
“You told me about your favorite steak house.” He pulled a Tupperware box out of his bag. “And because the food here is awful I got you another lunch. Steak with steakhouse fries. Still warm.”  
“Perfect timing, I’m starving.” Sofia took the box, smelled the steak and smiled. “Real food. Not this hospital mashed whatever. A real steak and some real fries. Do you have a sauce?”  
“What do you think?” He pulled a few little packages with sauces out of his pocket. “Tomato, barbecue, mayonnaise, sweet chili.”  
“Are you supposed to eat something like this, Sofia?” Her mother asked.   
“Yes. I am supposed to eat, mother. No restrictions. And for the next minutes I won’t be able to talk to you guys, I need to concentrate on my steak. High priority.”  
“Looks like you made her very happy, Felix.” Sara chuckled.  
“I know and I plan the same with you. There’s a box for you too.” He sat on the edge of Sara’s bed and handed her a big container.   
“What’s that?”  
“Lunch.”  
Sara opened the box and found a lot of salad inside. “Wow.”  
“Salad with egg, cheese, tomato, cucumbers, capsicum, olives, sweet corn, beans and I’ve no idea what else. Also four sauces for you and a fresh made bread with butter. Enjoy your meal.”  
“Sofia, we need to invite this man more often to our room. He’s gorgeous.”  
“Mhm.” The blonde was too much concentrated on tasting her steak, letting her tongue taste the perfect taste of meat, the wonderful combination of sauces and crispy fries that had actually potatoes inside and weren’t only fried thin sticks of whatever.   
“Usually you bring flowers to women in hospital.” Sofia’s father said.   
“They both whine about the food and who has been in hospital for a while knows, the food isn’t what you want to have every day. After they’ve spent so much time in here I thought it was time for them to get something they love and don’t get. Flowers are nice for the eyes, food is for the heart.”  
“What is your occupation?”  
“I’m a muscian.” Felix smiled. Time to answer a few questions to Captain Curtis. Her daughter was busy with her food, the best time to get information about the unknown young man who seemed to know her daughter quite well.   
“A musician? A music teacher?”  
“No, make music for my living.”  
“Are you famous?”  
“I have my share of fans.”  
“And you can live from your music?”  
“Mom!” Sofia looked up. Her mother was interrogating Felix. Didn’t she tell her two minutes ago not to do so?   
“Good enough to buy your daughter a steak. It’s okay, Sofia. Eat your steak and don’t worry about me.”  
“How long will you stay in Vegas?”  
“I don’t know. My occupation allows me to be flexible. I can sing here to, have talked to a few bars and casinos already. A little change of cities isn’t the worst idea. It might give me some new ideas for songs. Sin City is always good for a good story and a good story is a good song.”  
“Interview ends here. Mom, I’ll stab you if you ask one more question. Leave him alone and accept that I’ve friends you don’t know everything of.”  
“I was just…”  
“No, you weren’t just. Stop it. Dad?”  
“She’s right, Honey. You were. It’s not your fault, you’re a Captain through and through and we know it’s not a bad intention but other people don’t know you and might be intimidated. I’m sure if Felix will stay longer we will see him again and you will get to know him like a friend of your daughter and not like a suspect.”  
“Thanks dad.”  
“Shall I organize you some dessert?” Greg asked Sara who was almost done with the salad.   
“Why don’t your take me with you? It’s not a Ferrari but it has wheels and it drives.” She pointed to a wheelchair next to her bed.  
“Are you allowed to leave the bed?”  
“Yes. I can’t walk but I can be taken to a little trip. We take the infusion with us and we’re free to go for a little while.”  
“And a blanket, it’s cold outside.”  
“Like fifty degrees?”  
“You start arguing and I won’t take you with me.” Greg smiled.   
“Blackmailing!”  
“Making sure you’re warm and comfortable. Come here, Gorgeous.” He got his arms under Sara, lifted her up and placed her in the wheelchair.   
“Wow, you have been working out.”  
“A little bit. From geek to Mister Universe in twenty days or so. Comfortable?”   
“Yes, thanks.” Sara took the infusion and hang it in a hook at the wheelchair. Soon she could survive the day without instant pain blockers. At the moment the pain was too big if she didn’t get her infusion.   
“We’ll see you guys later. Don’t fight too much.”  
“Maybe I can get them to give me a little ride too. If we caught you speeding you’ll be in trouble.”  
“You’re all off duty.” Sara grinned and waved. Time to see something else than her room.   
“Where do you want to go?”  
“Out. Somewhere where I can see something else than hospital, doctors and nurses.”  
“Okay.” Greg pushed the wheelchair out of the hospital. Nearby was a little park. He parked Sara in front of the water fountain, the sun on her face. Fresh air. The sound of the city mixed with some birds singing. This was good.   
“You look better every day.” Greg sat on the edge of the fountain, took Sara’s hand.   
“Thanks. I start feeling like a human again. The casts make it difficult to move, to do anything and I really look forward to lose them. On the other hand I know I won’t be able to walk right away. There will be a lot of physiotherapy before I can walk to a crime scene with you. Painful physiotherapy.”  
“Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you? Shall I do the shopping for you? I mean when you’re back home you need to eat and you can’t walk to the next supermarket – not the first days.”  
“I won’t go home.”  
“Huh?” He looked surprised. “What do you mean with you won’t go home?”  
“What I said. Sofia offered me to stay at her place, she lives in the house her parents owned. If we share the house for a while none of us will be home alone the whole day.”  
“Sounds sensible.” He grinned. “A shared house with Sofia? Wow.”  
“What wow?”  
“Wow you want to share a house with her. The first time it seemed to be impossible for you to have her around at work, now you’re with her 24/7 and you’re still not sick and tired of her. That’s worth a wow. You changed.”  
“Like you said, it’s a sensible thing.”  
“Yeah. You like her.”  
“We have something in common, we both were almost killed by the same man.”  
“You had something else in common before.”  
“What?”  
“You’re both excellent in your jobs, do everything one hundred percent and don’t take any bullshit from nobody. And both of you don’t want to climb the hierarchy too high because you both hate politics and want to do the real work.”  
“Are you an analyst or a CSI?”  
“A CSI is an analyst.”  
“Of evidence not of people.”  
“You’re fascinating, you are my hobby.”  
“Stop that.”  
“Or what? You will leave me here alone?”  
“No, I won’t see you again.”  
“You can’t live without me, I’m your most trustful visitor.” He picked up a flat stone. “Throw it. You want to do that the whole time.”  
“I…”  
“Don’t argue, do it.” He watched her throwing the stone, watched it jumping five times on the water before it was gone. A game he used to play as a child whenever there was water around.  
“Now that you had a little play we can go back inside.”  
“Five more minutes.”  
“Your infusions needs a refill.”  
Sara looked at the almost empty infusion. “Bloody thing.”  
“This bloody thing makes your life free of pain, be nice to it.”  
“I want my old life back.”  
“You’ll get it back.”  
“If I get it back it will take ages.”  
“Lucky for us you’re very patient.” He got behind the wheelchair and pushed her back to the entrance of the hospital.   
Sara wished he could bring her home, bring her back to normality. She didn’t want to live in hospital anymore, didn’t want see the same people every day, didn’t want to be forced to stay in bed. That wasn’t her kind of living, she needed her job, needed work. 

“This was a very entertaining day.” Sofia closed her eyes.   
“Yes, your parents, Felix and all your former who are my actual work colleagues. We were the party room, only the music was missing.”  
“And some drinks.”  
“Forget it. It will take a while until we’re allowed to have a beer again. We’re high on medication there is no space for alcohol.”  
“Coffee was something I really missed. Right now I’d trade coffee for an ice cold beer.”  
“Same here. Hey, what about a deal?”  
“What kind of deal?” Sofia turned her head and blinked at Sara. The evening sun shone in her face, made it difficult to see the brunette.   
“We will drink the first beer together. If one of us can drink before the other can she waits until the other is allowed to drink too.”  
“You’re likely the first one who can drink again.”  
“That makes me the one who will wait for you. Do we have a deal?”  
“Yes. I can’t give you my hand now and you won’t leave your bed.”  
“Scared I end up sleeping in your bed?”  
“No, worried that you will fall and have to stay longer. We both want out here ASAP and shouldn’t do anything that endangers this.”  
“True. So we have a deal. A beer in your garden when we’re both fit again.”  
“My garden?”  
“Yes, it’s the closest location when we sleep in your house.”  
“Is that your way of telling me you want to move in with me, Sara Sidle?” Sofia smiled.   
“Move in for a certain time, not permanently. Don’t get too excited.”  
“Me? Because of you? Never! I had already forgotten about you and planed Felix in. You know, young man, very handy.”  
“Okay, I won’t disturb your romantic proposition.”  
“I’ll kick him out for you.”  
“No need to. I’ve a place to stay, he doesn’t.”  
“Sara, when I asked you to join me I meant it. I want you there, want to sit with you the whole day on the couch and feel useless. None of us has to be alone. It can be the two of us or I ask Felix if he wants to join us. That way we have our personal slave.”  
“Two. Greg offered his help too.”  
“Even better. What do you say? Are you still with me?”  
“With you and Felix.”  
“Sure?”  
“Yes. He came here to see you, don’t let him sleep on the streets or you’ll sooner or later use all your influence to get him out of jail. He’s a nice guy.”  
“I know. Okay, I let him know the next time he is here. Do you want to move in when you leave here?”  
“No, I’ll wait until your back home. There’s no point in being at your house when you’re here.”  
“Felix.”  
“He’s yours.”  
“And a help for you too.”  
“I’ll be fine. A few days alone will be good for me. You know I’m not the socializing type and spending six weeks with you in a room is more than enough.” Sara grinned.   
“I’d hug you if I got you. Amazingly you say the opposite of what you really mean. You say something mean and in reality you wanted to tell me you like me. Lucky for us I understand you. I like you too, Sara and I’m very happy they let us share the room.”  
“Never said that.” Sara grumbled and blinked at Sofia.   
“You said it in Sara – English. After all these days I’ve learnt Sara – English and understand it.”  
“You’re smug again.”  
“And you like me anyway. Want to blow me a good night kiss?”  
Sara lifted her middle finger.   
“Princess Charming. Sleep tight.”  
“You too. Dream of your steak and fries.”  
“When we’re out of here we’ll have a steak and a salad in my garden. Even when we can’t have a beer with that, we can enjoy a good meal. Good night.”  
“Night, night.”

“Where is your sexy brunette?” Felix put a bag at the end of Sofia’s bed.   
“With her doctor.”  
“I hope it’s nothing serious.”  
“No, only routine. Her daily check. What did you bring me?”  
“Me!”  
“And what’s in the bag?”  
“A little bit more enthusiasm for me, please.” He put his hands in his sides.   
“Sorry…it’s great to see you.”  
“What’s in your bag?”  
She smiled. “Too easy?”  
“Yes.”  
“Okay. Why don’t you have a sit here on the bed?”  
“That’s better.” He sat next to her.   
Sofia took his hand. “How was your day?”  
“So far so good.”  
“Where are you singing at the moment?”  
“South East Shopping Center.”  
“Are they generous?”  
“I can’t complain.”  
“Felix, don’t lie to me, I don’t ask these things because I judge or take pity on you. I as because I want to know.”  
“They give more money when I sing next to Christmas decoration. Makes them feel guilty not give me any change because Christmas is coming and you’re supposed to share with the ones who don’t have much. It’s the best time of the year for making money.”  
“The worst for the nights.”  
“I’ve a few nights left of my casino deal. There shouldn’t be a reason why I don’t get a new one.”  
“Don’t ask for one.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I’d like you to take these.” She opened the top drawer of her nightstand, got her keys out and gave them to him. “Again, no pity. I want you to take my keys and stay at my place. Please.”  
“Why? I can take care of myself.”  
“I know, you did that in Frisco pretty good. It’s pure selfishness.”  
“How?”  
“When you’re at my place somebody lives there, it won’t be that interesting for burglars. Plus when I come home I can need a strong man around to make me breakfast. I plan to use you, it’s not about pity.”  
“You want to use me by letting me stay in your house?”  
“Yes.”  
“That doesn’t sound like using me.”  
“Like your trip to Vegas doesn’t sound like a short holiday trip. You came here to be there for me. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”  
“It has been a dream of me to share a house with you for three years, I’d be stupid not to take the offer. What will your parents say?”  
“My mom figured out what kind of musician you are, she saw you. Surprisingly it didn’t matter because she likes you. You take care of her baby that’s what counts for her.”  
“Good. Want me to be your butler and entertainer?”  
“Why not a friend who might helps me out a bit when there’s something I can’t do myself?”  
“Like taking a shower?”  
“I’m sure I’ll have home care for that.”  
“Bugger.” He took the keys. “I can sniff around your place with them.”  
“I trust you, Felix.”  
“And I won’t disappoint you.”  
“Good. Can you live with Sara and me in the house?”  
“Can I sleep in between the two of you?”  
Sofia laughed. “We will all sleep in our own bedrooms.”  
“What a waste of beds. And energy. We save a lot of power when we share a bed, nobody needs a heater anymore, we can keep each others warm.”  
“All you want is getting your hands on us.”  
“You. Sara is save.”  
“You don’t like brunettes?”  
“I don’t care about the hair color, I’d want you with brown hair too.” He cocked his head. “How do you look with brown hair?”  
“Amazing.” Sofia grinned.   
“Thought so. Can’t say what I like more, blond or brunette, you can have any hairstyle and will look like a goddess.”  
“Felix, you have my keys, you can stop talking like this.”  
“It’s what I think, why lie? Wanna know what’s in the bag?”  
“First I want to hear that it’s all right for you that you’ll share the house with Sara and me.”  
“No man would say anything else. I’ll share a house with two really beautiful women. Yes, I do like the idea and I look forward to see you there. Until then I prepare your home for you. Housekeeping is one of my hobbies?”  
“How can housekeeping be a hobby?”  
“If you don’t have your own place you enjoy it.”  
“Okay.” Sofia furrowed her brows. It sounded strange. Enjoying housekeeping. Then again, it wasn’t that bad to do the dishes somewhere else. Only at her own place she hated it. Maybe it was the same with the rest of the jobs of a housewife. 

“Doc, do you have a second?” Sara asked before the nurse could take her back to her room after the examination. Her bones were healing fine, she lost every day more and more bandages and there was no reason why she couldn’t go home next week.   
“Sure. What can I do for you?”  
“I asked you about the possibility that I can be a donor for Sofia…”  
“Sara, just because you’re feeling and getting better, it doesn’t mean your body is ready for another exposure.”  
“Not right now, I’m aware that I have to give my body a little break but…soon?”  
“I wouldn’t recommend any bigger operation within the next weeks.”  
“So let it be early next year. Can I be a donor?”  
“What does Miss Curtis say about this?”  
“This isn’t the topic. I ask you if I’m suitable and not what she thinks. That’s something I will figure out with her when it’s time. Why talk about it before I know I can donate a kidney? That would only let her hope and in the end the hopes might die because it’s not possible.”  
“The tests we made gave us no reason to believe you can’t donate a kidney for her BUT we haven’t done all tests.”  
“Then do the rest. If they’re positive I want this transplantation.”  
“You thought about this twice?”  
“Every day, there’s not much more to do when you’re forced to stay in bed the whole time. A lot of time for thinking, I’m sure what I want and I’m aware of the consequences. Are you aware of what happens to Sofia if she doesn’t get a new kidney?”  
“I am Miss Sidle, I’m a doctor. Okay, I’ll do the last tests and let you know if you can be a donor.” He paused for a few seconds. “Not many people would give a kidney to a stranger.”  
“She isn’t a stranger, she’s a friend. When we got attacked she tried to save me without carrying that she gets herself at risk. She was willing to give her life for mine. Now it’s my time to do something for her. Would you let a friend, who might have saved your life, die?”  
“No.”  
“See. I can live with one kidney better than she can without one. You told me my organs are fine…except for one…”  
“Yes, they are. Sara, the lost of your baby, do you want to talk about it? With me? With somebody else?”  
“No.” She didn’t want to talk about it. That wasn’t a topic for a conversation. It was private and she would deal with it herself. All her life she had dealt with private problems herself and managed to survive. Telling somebody about it, that she had known about the baby for one day and only accepted that she was pregnant, didn’t help. There was nothing in the world that could change the fact Sara lost her baby and had no chance to get pregnant again. Why talk about it?   
“Sure?”  
“Yes.”   
“If you change your mind let me know. You can talk to me or I can send a colleague if you prefer to talk to a woman, we have some really good therapists.”  
“Thanks but no thanks.”  
“Okay. Back to your room?”  
“Yes. Time to wake the blonde up.”  
“She will be awake, it’s after three, there will be a young man in your room – like every day.”  
“Right.” Felix had made it a habit to come every day between three and five for a visit.   
Today wasn’t different. When Sara was brought into the room he sat on a chair next to Sofia’s bed.   
“Hey, you’re late. Are you having an affair with the doctor?” He greeted her.  
“With two.”  
“Wow, you are busy!”  
“Nothing else to do here. Thanks Martha.”  
“Give me a second and I’ll get James to help you into your bed.”  
“I’ve a strong man here, don’t worry.” Sara smiled at Felix. “Show us your muscles, Felix.”  
“Now I’m shy.”   
“If you need James call us, okay?”  
“Sure. Thanks.” Sara waited until the nurse was gone.   
“All right, lets get you in your bed.”  
“Hold on a second, Hercules, why don’t you lift me up and let me sit next to the blonde?”  
“Huh?” Sofia looked surprised. “Why?”  
“Sure, no problem. I wish I could sit next to her in bed too but I’m afraid if I try that she’ll kick me out.” He lifted Sara up and sat her carefully next to Sofia.   
“And now?”  
“Now I’m next to you, have you on my right side what means I can take you in my arm.”  
“Why?” Suspicion was written all over Sofia’s face. “What do you plan, Sara? There is something you haven’t told us of. This isn’t you, you have a plan. Spill it, what do you have in mind?”  
“You don’t trust me, do you?”  
“Usually I do but when you’re strange like this I prefer to be carefully.”  
“Felix, there is a laptop in the green bag, could you get it here and place it on Sofia’s bed?”  
“Sure.” He took the green bag. “Want the DVD in it too?”  
“Yes. We can have a movie afternoon. Greg brought my laptop and a new DVD. Time for some action movies, you can hide behind my shoulder if you’re scared Sofia.”  
“We’ll have our own cinema? Cool. And no, I won’t hide but if you’re scared I’ll take care of you.”  
“If I tell you I’m a very scared and sensitive man will you let me in between you?”  
“No.” Sofia laughed.   
“Why not?”  
“Because my bed isn’t big enough. You’re the man, you have to sit on the chair.”  
“Discrimination everywhere. I make the room dark, it’s easier to hold hand when it’s dark. Sofia, we need to make out without Sara noticing it…with her sitting next to you a real challenge.”  
“You’re dreaming again.” Sofia chuckled.   
“I love my dreams of you.” He handed Sara her pillow. “It’s comfortable this way. Do you need anything else? Something to drink? A snack?”  
“Right now I’m fine, thanks Felix.”  
“Sofia?”  
“Me too. Have a seat and lets start the movie.”  
Sara smiled. It had been a good idea of Greg to get her laptop and a movie. They had a TV in the room but the afternoon program wasn’t something they wanted to watch. Listening to people who made more personal problems than they had injuries was nothing that made them feel better. 

Early December

“Two more days and you’re free.” Sofia wanted her voice sounding happy but there was a hint of sadness. The doctor had told Sara a minute ago she was allowed to leave in two days. Her arm had no cast and also her left leg lost its cast. The right leg needed a few more days, the rips were healed and the infusion was gone.   
“Yes.”   
“Happy?”  
“A bit.”  
“A bit? Why only a bit?”  
“Because I’m afraid if I can manage my life. I can barely walk, leave alone take a shower. I need home care and…it will be strange without you.”  
“Felix will visit you every day and take you here.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Oh Sara, come here.” Sofia petted on her bed.   
Using her crutches the brunette made the two yards on shaky legs and dropped on Sofia’s bed. Immediately she got pulled in Sofia’s arms. Sofia had her arms free, legs still in casts and only one infusion in her arm. All bandages were gone, her rips hurt only a bit.   
“One more week and I’ll be out of here too. One week for you, for some time alone. You spent six weeks with me, six weeks in the same room, aren’t you sick and tired of me? Don’t look forward to have some time for you alone?”  
“Of course.”  
“But?”  
“But I’ll miss you.”  
“You’ll have me back soon. If you want you can move into the house before I’m there, have Felix there to entertain you.”  
“He’ll be here with you, Detective Dazzling.”  
“Jealous?”  
“No, I’ve my Greggo. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”  
“As soon as I’m with you.”  
“You’re smug again.”  
“Exactly how you like me most. You know my plan is, whenever I’ve to get here for my dialysis I want you and Felix create a great dinner.”  
“You’re not very hungry after dialysis.”  
“Doesn’t matter, it’s the ambience that matters. A lovely set table, good food, a movie afterwards and two friends around, that’s the best medicine.”  
“When I had physiotherapy before I won’t be able to do anything than lying on my bed and whining. You know this guy enjoys torturing us.”  
“He’ll be in trouble when I’m back on duty and I see him. For every second he made me suffer I’ll let him suffer an hour.” Sofia grumbled. Their physiotherapist wasn’t the type of man who let them cheat in therapy. Whenever they tried to do something not the way he asked them to do it, he let them made the exercise again from the beginning. Sofia wasn’t sure if the sore muscles weren’t more pain than the broken bones.   
“No pain no healing.”  
“I bet that’s a lie. If my muscle hurts it’s broken and that can’t be good.”  
“He’ll tell you different. But I look forward to our first walk to a café; even when we’ll have very sore muscles after that. It will be a piece of freedom.”  
“Back to normal.”  
Sara got up. “I go back to my bed before the nurse comes in and tells us of – again. Shall we watch the news before we go to sleep?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good. I say good night in case I fall asleep during the news.” Sara kissed Sofia’s cheek. “Sleep tight, Detective.”  
“Wow, a good night kiss not the middle finger, we’re making progress. Have sweet dreams, Investigator.”

“Say goodbye to your room and your roomie.” Greg greeted Sara when he came into the room. “Time to leave and go home with me. Leave the gorgeous woman behind and join the gorgeous man.”  
“You could at least pretend you’re sorry that I’m left behind.” Sofia pouted. It wasn’t nice of Greg to be happy about Sara’s leaving. It meant Sofia stayed back, was alone and lost the only person who made her stay bearable.   
“Sorry, I’m too happy to get her out of here. We will get you out here soon too.”  
“Soon? It will be a while until I’m allowed to leave. Don’t leave me.” She pleaded and held on to Sara’s hand.   
“They didn’t ask if I want to leave, they told me I have to leave. Sorry.” She hugged Sofia. “I’ll be back tomorrow. Shall I bring something?”  
“You.”  
“Besides me?”  
“No, all I want is you.”  
Sara laughed. “Felix won’t like that. Be strong, do what they tell you so you can get out of here fast. I want a barbecue with you.”  
“What a wonderful thought. You take care of her, Greggo?”  
“Sure, I turned her couch into a bed. Until she moves in with you I’ll stay with her and make sure she’s all right. Home care starts tonight, the physiotherapist will come around tomorrow morning. Everything is organized.”  
“And I still can’t walk around the corner to get a coffee.” Sara grumbled. One cast left and not the strength in her arms to use crutches because of her broken left arm, that needed physiotherapy first. At the moment it was without a cast but still useless. Same with her left leg. She was a collection of useless limbs.   
“We could organize an electric wheelchair but the idea is that you start your therapy and learn to do it yourself. Despite the pain and the frustration. You’re allowed to yell at me if that makes you feel better.” He pulled her in his arms and kissed her. “Smile a little bit, you’re going home. After all those weeks of being trapped in here you’re free to go.”  
“I can’t go, I can’t walk. Not far enough to leave this building. I can make it to the door, that’s it.”  
“For that we have the wheelchair over there. I’ll get you out of here.”  
“Me too!” Sofia whined.   
“We come back for you later.”  
“Your later will be a few days.”  
“Sorry.”   
“You’re not really sorry.”  
“Sara, I think it’s better we say goodbye now, she’s getting whiny and pissed.”  
“I can understand her.” Sara hugged Sofia. “Sorry to leave you here. You give me a call whenever you need something, okay? Just because I’m not in your room it doesn’t mean I’m not in your life anymore. I’m available for you 24/7 and I want you to use that, do you understand me? Call me, no matter what time it is.”  
“Okay. Let Greg take care of you, listen to the therapist and try to do what’s best for your body and not what your head tells you. No full day trips to the lab because you want to have a look around.”  
“I will stay away from the lab, the only trip will be to you and maybe to a doctor.”  
“Good. Greg, I want to see at my place happy and as healthy as possible. If I hear a complain you’ll be in trouble.”  
“She’ll complain because I won’t let her do things that aren’t good for her and she won’t agree on that. But she’s worth the trouble. See you later, Sofia.” Greg helped Sara in the wheelchair. Time to leave the hospital and Sofia. If everything worked out the way it should the blonde would follow them next week. 

“Try a little smile for your chauffeur.” Greg bopped Sara playfully. “You’re back home.”  
“Yeah.” She opened the door and made a step inside her condo. Her home. Everything here looked exactly the way it looked when she left for her last shift. The only that was different was that the cup and plate in the sink were gone.   
“Home sweet home.”  
“You say it in a way that makes me believe somebody punished you with your home. Come here.” He put her bag aside, got his arms around her and carried her to the couch. “You’re home, there are all your books, there is your computer, your magazines, I’ll make you a coffee and you can sleep in your own bed. In your own room. You can switch on and off the light whenever you want, you can listen to the radio, open the window, do whatever you want and don’t have to ask somebody for permission or fight because you don’t want the same like Sofia.”  
“We never fought.”  
“Which is a wonder if I think of how you acted when you first worked together.”  
“I was wrong, it was my fault.”  
“Did she say that?”  
“No.”  
“Because she doesn’t think so.”  
“I look forward to move in with her and Felix.”  
“Does that mean I’m bad company?”  
“No!” She snuggled into his arms. “You’re great company and I’m glad and thankful that you’re here. That you were there every day to see how I am. You made my stay easier and were a highlight of every day. It’s just…I don’t know…I feel like…I can’t describe it.”  
“Like there’s a invisible connection between you and Sofia?”  
“Yes.” Sara was glad Greg understood. “We were attacked by the same man, the same time, were both seriously injured, spent a lot of time together and…I have the feeling I didn’t know her before and do know a little bit more of her and I like what I just got to know.”  
“Good. You’ll have her back, it was a good idea that you share a house and have each other so none of you will be alone while the rest of us works or sleeps.”  
“Yes. The only good thing about the attack…Greg, do you have photos of the crime scene?”  
His face turn dark. “They’re evidence.”  
“I’d like to see them.”  
“No.”  
“Why?”  
“Because they’re evidence.”  
“If I come to the lab I can see them. I’m a CSI.”  
“You’re a vic…witness. You can’t work the case anymore.”  
“Yes, I am a victim and I want to know what happened. You never told me about the evening. You were at the scene.”  
“I was.”  
“So you have plenty of photos.”  
“No, Sara.”  
“Why?”  
“Ask somebody else, I won’t bring you a photo.”  
“Why?”  
“Because…I don’t want to see it all again. I don’t want and I can’t. It…I…sorry…” Tears rolled down his face and he looked in his pockets for a tissue.   
Carefully caught a tear with her finger, hugged him and let him cry on her shoulder. Maybe it wasn’t a good time to ask him for this favor.   
“I can’t get the picture out of my mind when I came to the scene and realized it was you who laid there. It was like…like somebody ribbed out my heart. I thought you were dead. You…it seemed impossible that the person who was there on the ground, is you. It couldn’t be you. The people on the ground were victims and you’re an investigator, not a victim. I…I really thought I had lost you.”  
“I’m here, alive.”  
“Yes but…this moment…I can’t…I don’t want to go back to this moment. I asked Grissom to be taken off the case because I can’t handle it and I don’t care if somebody thinks I’m not professional enough.”  
“You’re very professional.”  
“I’m crying when I think of a crime scene.”  
“You’re sensitive. And human. I like that.”  
“I’m cry baby.”  
“No, you’re my man with the crazy hair. Not a cry baby. If anybody tells you different let me know and I’ll kick their asses.”  
He laughed a bit. “As a man I should take care of them myself.”  
“As a macho man, yes. As a smart man you asked the woman at your side what she would do and let her help you. As a team you’re always stronger. And we are a team, aren’t we?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good. Now, be a good macho man, give your woman a kiss and make a coffee for her.”  
“It’s your job to do that, I’m the macho, I’ll sit on the couch and watch you, stare at your ass and put a hand in my pants.”  
“Maybe I prefer a softy. I always preferred brains to muscles. That you are strong is something I know, you carried me a few times. You did work out, didn’t you?”  
“A little bit. I joined Nick.”  
“I like it.” She kissed his cheek. “What do you think of something to eat? I’d like to order some Thai.”  
“Sounds good. I make the coffee and say hello to Sofia?”  
“I beg your pardon?” Sara tried to look as innocent as possible.  
“You’ll call her too, don’t try to tell me something else.”  
Sara grinned. “I’d like to have no sugar nor cream in my coffee.”  
“I know.” He kissed her. “Go on, she’ll be waiting for your call.”

“What are you doing here?” Sofia starred at Sara. The brunette was due for a visit in the afternoon, together with Felix. It was morning and no Felix was around.  
“It took me two hours to get here, I want a better greeting than this, Miss Curtis. Try again.” Struggling with the last steps Sara managed to rescue herself to the chair next to Sofia’s bed, dropped on it and sighed. That was worse than a hard work out. The way from her condo to the street, the taxi drive was a little break, the way from the front door of the hospital to Sofia’s room was a long journey. At least when you had to take a break every three steps. A nurse offered her a wheelchair but Sara denied. She wanted her life back to normal, that included walking. No matter how long it took and how painful it was.   
“Are you all right? You look exhausted.”  
“I am. This was worse than physiotherapy so you better find a way to make it worth.”  
Sofia smiled. “It’s good to have you here, Sara, I missed you.”  
“Better.” Sara got up, sat on the bed and hugged Sofia. “When will you get out of here?”  
“Soon. I’m free of all needles, they want to make sure I can survive like this and then I’m free to go. You can pack your suitcase for your holiday trip at my place.”  
“Perfect. What about the cast?”  
“Will be gone tomorrow. We’re on for some crutch races soon. I’ll make you eat my dust.”  
“And I offer you my hand when you and your ego are on the ground because your legs weren’t as good as your ego was big. You are so smug.”  
“Yes, I’m feeling better.” Sofia kissed Sara’s cheek. “The only thing that sucks is dialysis but I’ll cope. That won’t be an excuse for letting you win.”  
“Maybe there’ll be a way that you don’t have to go there.”  
“The only chance not to go is a donor and I’m at the bottom of the list. No extra points for my incredible smile and my charm.”  
“Nor for arrogance or pride.”  
“No. But it’s Christmas in ten days and I’ll put it on my wish list. What do you want for Christmas?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Not acceptable. You better find something before I’m back home. We’ll go Christmas shopping together.”  
“Says who?”  
“Say I. We let Felix drive us to a mall, walk into a shop, have a coffee, go to the next shop, another coffee and so on.”  
“Why can’t we buy gifts in the internet? If we have to get any at all.”  
“Sara Sidle, it will be Christmas and we will celebrate. We will get a little tree, we will have a Christmas dinner and we will have gifts. Like it or not.”  
“I press the dislike button.”  
“We will ignore that.”   
The door was open and a woman with a little child came in. When she saw Sara sitting on Sofia’s bed she looked apologetic. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”  
“You don’t. Hey Gary, did you show mommy the garden?” Sofia asked. All she got for an answer was a little nod.   
“We go back there, I need a second pullover, it’s cold.”  
“Christmas is on its way. Shelley that’s Sara, she shared the room with me before. Sara that’s Shelley and her son Gary. He visits her every day.”  
“Nice to meet you. Are you feeling better?”  
“Yes, I’m all right. You?”  
“Two more days and I can leave. Okay Gary, lets get out. Bye.”  
“Have fun outside.” Sofia sighed. You learn to appreciate freedom if you don’t have it. Being able to get up and walk out of the room whenever you felt like it was priceless. She needed help for everything, needed somebody who helped her.   
“What’s wrong?” One look at Sara was enough to see something was wrong. The eyes of the brunette were sad and there was a hint of tears.   
“Nothing.”  
“Sara…”  
“I should go now.” She tried to get up but Sofia held her back.   
“No! Stay. Please.”  
“I need…”  
“Sara, if you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong, okay, I can accept that. But don’t go. Please. Please stay with me and if we just watch a stupid TV show. Don’t leave me.” Sofia turned on the TV, held on to Sara’s hand.   
Slowly the brunette got back on the bed, turned to the TV without watching the program. A talk show. Sofia had nod idea how many talk shows ran on TV every day and where they got all the people from who sat there and made a fool out of themselves. Did they pay them so much money? Were these people actors who thought they might become stars when they showed up very often in these kind of TV shows? Was it an honor to be in such a show? A part of the list of things you had to do before you died?   
Her arm getting around Sara she pulled the brunette closer, let her rest her head on her shoulder. Somehow it felt like Sara needed to be closer now. She looked like she felt cold but it was warm in the room.   
“Do you want some tea?”  
“No, thanks”  
“Okay.” Sofia kept her arm tight around Sara. If Sara didn’t want to talk she had to accept that. It wasn’t possible to solve a problem this way but maybe it was enough when she was only there and held her.   
“The night we got attacked…” Sara started carefully. “It was a special night.”   
Sofia didn’t dare asking questions. She wanted Sara telling her whatever she needed to tell in her own speed. No pressure, no questions, only ears that were open and listened.   
“I…I was…I lost…I was pregnant.”  
“What?” It was impossible not to say a word after these words. Sara had been pregnant when they got attacked? She never mentioned anything about it, neither before the attack nor after it. Did Sofia really hear the right words or were her ears playing her a practical joke?  
“I was pregnant. Seventh week.”   
“You never told me.”  
“It was new. I…I was at the doctor the evening before, he told me about the pregnancy. I was…I was shocked. Pregnant. That couldn’t be. That shouldn’t be. After all I was…am single and a baby…I’m not what you call…a family person and a baby…that seemed to be so wrong. A baby deserves a good mother and I’m…I can’t be…it didn’t sound right. Me being pregnant. I was so horrified.   
The night we got attacked…I didn’t want coffee because of the baby. Somehow the thought of it made me…it had been only a day that I knew of it, I wasn’t sure if it was the right decision to become a mother. But something inside made me…I caught myself…I realized at one point…I stroke my belly softly like…like I wanted to have contact with the baby…like a mother, a real mother.   
My childhood was a…fuck-up mess, my mother killed my father, I became a foster kid and before that I spent a lot of time in hospitals because the parenting style of my parents was a little bit…different to other parents. Most times I was scared of my parents or I was ashamed because I knew something was different, was wrong.   
Out of the blue I got the chance to have a child, give a little human the chance to have a nice life, a life I never had, never dared dreaming of because I didn’t know the life I had was wrong. I thought every family was like ours. Maybe I hoped I could fight my demons by giving the child I it wanted, all it needed and I never got. Whatever it was, it was there and I felt it only a few moments before he attacked us…and…I…I lost the baby.   
I lost the baby and through the miscarriage I can’t have children anymore. The ovule can’t nest in my uterus anymore. Even if I get pregnant I will lose the fetus within hours. I’ll never be a mother.”  
Tears covered Sara’s face. This was the first time she spoke to anybody about the pregnancy. After her doctor told her about the miscarriage and the fact that she can’t get pregnant anymore she refused talking about it with anybody. Her doctors tried it a few times, she never reacted and didn’t tell anybody else. It was a topic she wasn’t ready to face.   
“I’m so sorry Sara.”  
“It’s not your fault. You tried to save me, you tried to get between him and me. You did all you could.”  
“It wasn’t enough.”  
“You never had a chance. Like the baby. It’s crazy that I mind, I never wanted a child. But these twenty-four hours of pregnancy – or known pregnancy – changed something. The problem is it doesn’t matter now. It’s not my decision anymore. Even if I want a baby now, it won’t happen. When I saw the boy I realized it. Again.”  
Sofia stroke softly over Sara’s arm, kissed her hair. “There are no words I can say to make you feel better, that’s impossible. There are no words I can say to make it right. So I ask you if there’s anything I can do? Anything that makes you feel better?”  
“No. Nothing will change anything.”  
“Does it help a bit being in my arm? Being close?”  
“Yes.”  
“In that case I will only hold you and listen when you want a listener.” She found Sara’s left hand and held it. She wasn’t in a helpful position but what or who could help when you were in Sara’s shoes? Nobody and nothing. 

Sofia’s cell phone got them out of their silent thoughts an hour later. They hadn’t talked since Sara snuggled into Sofia’s arms. It wasn’t a unpleasant silence, they both thought about a lot of things and appreciated it that they weren’t alone. Having somebody in your arms, being in somebody arms could help you. Shelly and her son weren’t back so the phone was the first contact from out of the room.   
“Hi Felix.”  
“Good morning my wonderful landlady. How are you?”  
“Better and better.”  
“Very good. I was wondering if your former roomie is with you. I was at her place and nobody opens the door.”  
“Yes, she is here.”  
“All right, no reason to worry then. Tell her I’ll bring her some lunch, should be with you in half an hour.”  
“What about me?”  
“You booked all inclusive, you get your lunch anyway.”  
“What will you guys have?”  
“I thought about a double cheese pizza with fresh vegetables.”  
“Sounds much better than my lunch.”  
“When you’re back home you get a huge pizza too.”  
“I insist on that!”  
“Love you, detective. Later.”   
“Hey!” He hang up on her! “Cheeky guy.”   
“What did he say?”  
“Besides that he was looking for you at your place and worried? You will get a pizza in half an hour while I’ve to eat hospital food. When I’m back home I get my own huge pizza. Oh and he loves me and hangs the phone up on me.”  
“He has definitely a crush on you, that’s more than obvious.”  
“No, he’s playing.”  
“Sofia, this guy came to Vegas because of you. He missed you, he wanted to see you again. It’s not the music, the city or the weather why he is here, it’s you.”  
“Even if that’s true – and I don’t say it is – he’s too young.”  
“Why?”  
“Because he’s something like twenty-three and I’m…twenty-five and a few months.”  
“Like over one hundred twenty?” Sara chuckled? Sofia tried to make her age sound young.   
“Shush!”   
“Yes you are older than him, you will have your ten to twelve years senior but why does that matter? Nobody cared that Grissom is older than me.” This was the first time Sara spoke about her former relationship to Grissom with Sofia. All the blonde knew was, they were a couple and when Sara was abducted it became public. Then Sofia left and when she came back Sara and Grissom were separated. Friends but no lovers anymore.   
“It’s a fantasy he has, that’s it. I’m sure if he had known how I look now, he hadn’t bothered coming here.”  
“How do you look now?” Sara looked at Sofia.   
“I miss three teeth, there’s a scar on my left cheek and my whole body looks more like a bad piece of art than stunning beach art.”  
“If he had known what happened to you, he had been here the first night. You don’t scare him away with scratches, Sofia. You still look beautiful. Your beauty is in your eyes, your smile. Whenever you smile at him, his heart melts. There is nothing he wouldn’t do to make you happy or get a little smile. He has more than a little crush on you but he is well mannered and doesn’t tell you the whole time like other would do. He knows you don’t have a head for things like this, you need friends and not annoying admire. When the time is right he’ll make it clear what you mean to him. Until then he’ll be your faithful friend who worries more about you than about himself.”  
Sofia wanted to tell Sara she was wrong but deep inside she knew the brunette was right. And that she had to face the truth one day.   
“We’ll see…don’t you think he’s too young?”  
“I didn’t think I was too young for Grissom. Age isn’t about the number in your I.D., it’s about what’s in your head.”   
“Am I allowed to ask why you and Grissom split?”  
“Yes you are. Friends should be allowed to ask every question – and accept when the other one doesn’t feel like answering the question right away. Which doesn’t mean I won’t answer your question now. Grissom and me separated because of me. I had loved him for years, he was the only one for me. The problem was that I had so many expectations it was impossible for him to live up to them. He was like a god and step by step this perfect picture of him got cracks. At one point I realized I was in love with a picture of a man and not with the man himself. I still love him – as a friend, as a mentor.”  
“Are you still looking for the perfect man? The man you built in your head?”  
“No, I don’t want a fantasy anymore.” Sara laughed. “I want a real man. One who is smart, funny and trustful. I need somebody who can talk with me on the science layer, who understands that my job is important to me, I spend a lot of time working and also like to extend my knowledge after work. Because of that I need somebody who gets me away from work, who offers me alternative things to do. Last but most important, I need to trust him. You know I’m not an easy person, I don’t trust people easily and I need somebody I really trust. Like I trusted Grissom. He had two out of the three things, I want all three.”  
“Two out of three ain’t bad.”  
“I want it perfect.”  
“Like always.”  
“Yes.”  
“If this perfect guy appears and has a brother, let me know. I might be interested in the brother. Does Grissom have a younger brother?”  
“No.”  
“What a shame. We will find your Mister Right. Give us a few more weeks and we’ll be ready to hit the clubs…no wait, your Mister Right won’t be in a club, not the way you described him. We’re looking for an highbrow sportsman who prefers a conversation over a drink. I have to think about the perfect place to find him – and his brother for myself.”  
“You have a few weeks. Nobody wants to go out with us, we can’t walk through the room without a break.”  
“Soon we’ll be running through rooms and halls.”  
“Lets hope so, by goodness.”

Middle of December

“Did you pack everything?”  
“Of course.” Felix smiled. He had all of Sofia’s belongings in the bag.   
“Perfect.” Her last night at hospital. One more sleep and she was allowed to go home. The moment she had been waiting for since she woke up and realized she was here. One more sleep and she could go back into her own bed. Back at her own house. Her own room. A room for herself. Luxury.   
“Am I not a lucky man, I’m allowed to carry your dirty underwear. I can touch it, wash it and put it on the clothes line.”  
“Shall I call my mother for my dirty laundry?”  
“No, I’m not a underwear fetishist. That’s nothing else than fabric, the important thing is under the fabric, the beautiful woman. Without her a slip is just a slip and they are not very exciting.”  
“You better put them all where they belong or you’ll be in trouble. If I find one of my slips in your room you’ll be in big trouble.”  
“If you wouldn’t trust me never you asked me to take care of your laundry. Anything else I should take with me?”  
“Me.”  
“Oh I’d love to. Unfortunately you’ve a date with another man tomorrow morning and this man is important for your well-being. After he talked to you I’ll get you home. Do you want something special for lunch?”  
“No, I think I want a few hours alone in my room and in the evening dinner with you, Sara and Greg. The huge pizza you promised me. Extra cheese. Cheesy crust.”  
“Sara and Greg will come over around six, I’ll be out singing when I got you back home. Time for you to be alone in your home, not only your room.”  
“Sounds good; as long as you’re back later.”  
“With the pizza. Anything else I can do for you?”  
“Yes.”  
“What is it?”  
“Come here, sit here.” Sofia petted on the bed. Felix obeyed and sat next to her. She took his hand, pulled him in and kissed softly his cheek. “Thanks for everything, Felix. I’ve no idea what I’d do without you.”  
“Your parents would do all the things I do.”  
“Probably. But I enjoy the time with you and I’m glad you accepted my offer and stay with me for a while. And while means as long as you want, okay?”  
“Sounds good to me – almost as good as the kiss felt. Is there a chance I’ll get another one at one point?”  
“Yes.” She kissed him again.   
“This must be my birthday.”  
“When is you birthday, you never told me.”  
“Choose a day.”  
“Felix, I’m serious.”  
“So am I. There is a date in my I.D. but it’s not my birthday.”  
“How is that possible?” In your I.D. was your birthday and not a random date.   
“My mother left me one night in front of a hospital. Nobody knew who she is, where she was. They took me in, checked me and sent me to a foster home. The only person who knows when my birthday is, is gone. They guessed my birthday, it’s between the twelfth and fifteenth of March so the picked the fourteenth.” His voice was bitter and cynical. She hit a sensitive spot, a wound that wasn’t healed.   
“She left you in front of a hospital?”  
“Yes.”  
“Shit.”  
“Maybe it was because she wanted me to have a better life? Probably she wasn’t a married woman with a rich husband and great social life. She’ll be a low life, a lot of trouble with the law, no money, drugs, a loser. And her son is a homeless man, it runs in the family.”  
“Her son is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. One of the few people who are real friends, who are there when they’re needed.”  
“Nevertheless homeless without a real job and food thief.”  
“You’re not homeless, you have a home, you have a job and you’re not a food thief anymore. Stop telling yourself you’re a bad person.”  
“You know my file.”  
“Yes I do. I know you never hurt anybody, you only took what you needed and it was never something else than food. You’re a great man, Felix.” She pulled him closer. “Don’t let anybody tell you something else.”  
“It’s easier to believe bad things.”  
“I know but that doesn’t make them true.”  
“Just easier to believe. Anyway, what else can I do for you before I leave? Anything I can prepare for tomorrow?”  
“No, thanks.”  
“Nothing I can make you happy with?”  
“Be there that will make me happy.” She smiled.   
“Of course I will. Somebody has to carry you and I want to be this somebody.”  
“I want to walk myself.”  
“You can walk and if you need a break I’ll carry you. What time will your parents come along?”  
“They invited themselves for dinner.”  
“So we order two family pizzas. Perfect.” He got up. “I leave you now. Be ready at ten and I get you out of here.”  
“Can’t wait for that. Thanks Felix.”  
“You’re welcome, Detective Dazzling. One more night and we’ll share a house. That’s something I can’t wait for.” He flashed a smiled. 

“Are you moving in permanently?” Greg stared at all the bags Sara had placed around herself. When he offered her to help her with her bags he thought of one or two bags and half a dozen. This looked like Sara wanted to leave her condo for good.   
“No but I don’t want to come here every two days because I forgot something.”  
“I’ll be here twice a week and water your plants, I can bring you everything you need.”  
“No, I take all now.”  
“Your wish is my demand. Need a hand?”  
“Let me try it alone.”  
“You made it to hospital, you will make it to my car. Or I carry you.”  
“Don’t remind me of the hospital trip.” Sara had known the whole time this adventure had been hard, when she came back home she realized how hard it was on her body. For two days she could barely move her legs, her physiotherapist told her off for being so stupid and the pain cost her a full night of sleep. She had to start slowly and not with a marathon.   
“The next time you want to see Sofia – you knock on her door or go into the living room. If she’s further away you ask me to drive you.”  
“I can drive myself soon.”  
“Until your legs aren’t all right I won’t give you your car keys.”  
“These are MY keys…”  
“And you are MY friend and I don’t want you in an accident.” He got his arms around her, lifted her up and under her protest he carried her out of the condo to his car.   
“You will wait in here and I get your bags.”  
“I could have walked the distance.”  
“You can walk into Sofia’s house. Your therapist told you not to overdo it.”  
“You’re worse than a nurse.”  
“Good.” He kissed her cheek. “I care more than a nurse.”  
“Get my things.” Sara grumbled. It was bad not to have an argument against him, it was even worse to know he was right.   
Less than five minutes later Sara’s bags were all stored in Greg’s car and they were on their way to Sofia’s house. It was afternoon, around five, and the blonde was home since six hours. All by herself as Felix was out singing and Sofia’s parents wanted to come over for dinner.   
On her way to her home for the next weeks. Sara had no idea how long she would stay with Sofia, they hadn’t talked about a limit. Fact was for the next three or four weeks they needed their daily therapy to rebuild their muscles. When they were able to walk like before, go back to work, was something that was written in the stars.   
“Home sweet home.”  
“Home for a short period.” Sara corrected him.  
“Maybe the two of you enjoy each other so much that you’ll stay forever.”  
“We’re three.”  
“Right, Felix. Lucky man, living in a house with two very beautiful women. I’m jealous.”  
“You can come around every day, Sofia told you you’re always welcome. And I hope you will be here every day.”  
“Do you miss me when I’m not around?”  
“Yes.” She took his hand. “I do miss you when you’re not around. You know that.”  
“It’s good to hear it sometimes.”  
“I’m very happy to have you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “And when you have the next two or three days off let me know, I want to plan something special for us. A little trip that gives you the chance to have some time off too. Do you fancy a long weekend in a hotel with me?”  
“Will I share my bed with you?”  
“If we don’t get a twin room yes.”  
“Sounds good to me.” He kissed her earlobe. “Sounds very good. But wait until you can enjoy the trip too. You won’t be happy sitting the whole day in the room or at the pool.”  
“Deal.” She kissed his cheek. “Time to move in with a smug blonde.”  
“Time to start a great time with a good friend.”   
“Dreamer.” She laughed, opened the door, took her crutches and made her way to the front door. Step by step she made it to the door that got open before she could ring the bell.   
“Welcome home.” Sofia hugged Sara, kissed her and whispered in her ear: “I’m glad you’re here.”  
“You were six hours alone and you’re already lonely?”  
“I didn’t say I’m lonely, I enjoyed the silence but I missed you. Like I missed you when you left hospital. Truth be told, I prefer spending my time with you, Sara Sidle, than alone. I’m not sure what that means but until I’ve figured it out you have to stay with me.”  
“I don’t have to but I want to. Get in, you’re not supposed to stand so long.”  
“Ditto.”  
“Lets get inside and sit on the couch. Hey Greggo, I’d offer you a hand but mine are engaged with the crutches.”  
“I can handle Sara’s household. Where shall I take it to?”  
“Upstairs, second door left side.”  
“Okay.”  
“Thanks Greg.” Sara smiled and followed Sofia. There was no way she could make her way up to the bedroom with a bag and crutches. It was better she followed Sofia into the living room and sit down. Less than thirty yards and she was tired. She had to work on her power.  
“The kitchen is over there and next to the front door is a guest toilet, in case you don’t feel like walking upstairs to the bathroom. I live in the bedroom to the right, yours is the second door to the left. The first door on the left is Felix’ room and the door at the end of the hallway is the second bathroom, yours and Felix. What else do you need to know? I wrote down the code for the internet, it’s in your room. The phone is in the little room behind the kitchen, my office. Or it was supposed to be an office, it’s a small room with the phone, a computer, desk and four book shelves. When my parents lived here it was the guest room.   
The fridge is stocked so take whatever you need. The afternoon sun in the garden feels great, I spent two hours there today. With a blanket the garden swing is the perfect place for a little nap. The washing machine is in the kitchen. Uhm, what else? There’s a little shop around the corner in case you feel like pissing off our therapist. Oh and we have pets. There are two cats running around the house, Jorja and Louise and behind you is Eric.”   
Sara turned and saw for the first time a big terrarium. Immediately she had to think of bugs and spiders and roaches and whatever else Grissom collected in his condo. Not again. She didn’t want any housemates with more than four legs anymore. Cats were great, dogs too but why did everybody have…these animals as pets?  
“You have a spider?”  
“Look closer.” Sofia chuckled.   
Sara’s eyes run over the terrarium. There was no spider. All she saw was some wood, a big stone and…”A dragon?”  
“A bearded dragon.”  
“Okay…”  
“Are you scared?”  
“No…does it bite?”  
“Eric is very well behaved. Usually he sits in his terrarium only when it’s very warm I let him out in the garden. Now in winter he likes to sit with me on the couch, next to the log fire and watch TV.” She cocked her head. “I’m sure he’ll enjoy sitting on your shoulder.”  
“I’m not sure if I want him on my shoulder.”  
“Whom?” Greg came into the room and sat next to Sara.   
“Eric, my prince.”   
Greg looked at the dragon. “Cool. Can I hold it?”  
“Sure. He’s not shy.”   
“Neither am I.” Greg opened the terrarium, got the dragon out and sat down next to Sara. “Say hello to your new housemate, Eric. I hope you take good care of her. And of your mommy. They both need to rest a lot.” He put the dragon on Sara’s shoulder who got rigid.   
“Greg, put it away.”  
“He likes your shoulder.”   
“Put it away.”  
“You have to be nicer to him.” Greg took the dragon and placed it on his left leg, stoking the back of the reptile. “I like their skin, so warm. Do you have a place for him to run free?”  
“Yes, I’ve a cage that I put out in the summer so he can be out and enjoy the sunshine. Now in winter he has to live with the electric light. And I’ve to make sure the cats don’t try to kill him.”  
“You have cats too?”  
“Yes two. I always wanted a dog too but I don’t have the time for it. Now that I have the time I can’t walk.”  
“Maybe we can go to a pet shelter and take a dog for a walk when we manage more than ten yards of a distance.” Sara suggested. “A dog is an ordinary pet.”  
“Do you have a problem with Eric?” Sofia asked.   
“Not as long as I’m not supposed to cuddle it.”  
“Good because he won’t leave the house and will stay right here in the living room.”  
“That’s fine. I play with the cats.”  
“They’ll come in later in the evening and when you sit here they might jump on your lap and want you to pamper them. They need a lot of love and attention.”  
“Just like their mommy?”  
“If I sit on your lap will you pamper me too?”  
“No I’ll scream in pain because you’re too fat.”  
“I’m not fat! I put on a pound or maybe two but I’m not fat! You only say that because you want my share of the pizza. Won’t work, Sara Sidle! I’m in an incredible shape and look sexy and gorgeous.”  
“Smug, arrogant and self-assured.” Sara smirked.   
“This will be an interesting house sharing situation. I’m glad I’ve got a front row seat. Together with Eric. Come on boy, I get you back in your terrarium and me a beer. Shall I bring some juice for you ladies?”  
“I want a beer too.” Sara sighed.  
“Me too.”  
“Not happening. As long as you take your medication you won’t get a beer.”  
“You’re not welcome here anymore.” Sofia grumbled.  
“I am, ask your housemate.”  
“He is. He’s my Eric.” Sara blinked at Greg. “I take an orange juice with a little bit of lemon juice.”  
“Want salt and cinnamon with it?”  
“You’re not welcome here anymore, Greg.” Sara threw a pillow at Greg. It wasn’t funny that they couldn’t drink alcohol anymore. 

“Sit down, Honey.” Sofia’s mother pushed her daughter back down to the chair.   
“Mom, I can walk.”  
“Of course but you can rest a little bit.”  
“Mom…”  
“It’s okay, Honey.”  
Sofia rolled her eyes. This was exactly what she thought it would happen. Her mother was here and took over everything. She served, she poured wine, she made sure Sara and Sofia had everything they needed or not needed.   
“I get the dessert.”  
“I need a break.”  
“Want some fresh air to make some space for the dessert?” Felix offered.   
“Yes.”   
“I give you a hand.” He helped her up, handed her the crutches and escorted her out of the living room to the garden.   
“Thanks.” She exhaled. “She’ll kill me. Or I kill her.”  
“That bad?”  
“Do you have a cigarette?”  
“No. Since when do you smoke?”  
“Now?”  
“We won’t let her turn you into a smoker. And no, I don’t have a cigarette. I stopped that when I was sixteen.”  
“I stopped when I was twenty-one and right now I feel like I should start again…sixteen is young! Especially when we talk about stopping it.”  
“When you start with ten it’s late.”  
“Shall we make a deal?”  
“What kind of deal?”  
“If I want to start old bad habits you stop me and if you want to start them I stop you.”  
“We have a deal, Detective Dazzling.”  
“Detective Demolished suits me better. Still.”  
“No, dazzling. Even when I saw you the first time in hospital you didn’t look demolished to me. I saw your beauty and I still see it. Nothing can change that. It’s a fact like one and one is two. Some things you can’t change.”  
“You’re cute.” She leant into him. “And I’m very thankful that you’re here, Felix. You don’t have to play nurse.”  
“I don’t see this as playing nurse. I try to be your friend.”  
“You are my friend, a very good one.”  
“Good. And if you want I throw your mom out. She’ll get her gun and shoot me but I’d do it.”  
“No.” Sofia laughed. “I need you and don’t want you dead because she shot you. Give me five minutes and I’m fine and can face her again.”  
“Do you want to be alone for these five minutes?”  
“Actually I’d like you here with me.”  
“You have me.”  
“That’s good.” She wrapped her arms around him, let her rest on his shoulder. “Tell me what I can do to make you happy, Felix.”  
“I am happy.”  
“You do so many things for me, I want to do something for you. Please tell me what would make you happy.”  
“I am happy and you did a lot of things for me. You let me stay here, you trust me, you support me, you are my friend. That’s more than I dreamed of. When we met in San Francisco and you saved me because you didn’t judge me, didn’t take the easy way by sending me to prison, took the risk and looked who am I, that was more than most people ever did for me. My whole childhood I was labeled as the foster child, the boy who was left by his mother. When I was a teenager I was always the guilty one, no matter if I did something or not. As an adult I am the filthy street loser, who steals, stinks and is too stupid to have a real life. You never made me feel like any one of these things. You made and make me feel like a full human being and that’s something you can’t buy with money. It’s something that’s there because of you, because of your feelings, they way you act. It’s worth more than money, food or luxury.”  
“You are special Felix, don’t let anybody ever tell you something else.” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed the tip of his nose. “You’re very special and everybody who doesn’t see that is blind and stupid.”  
He lifted her up. “Lets show them how special I am by carrying you back inside. You shift from leg to leg, you’re in pain and walking isn’t an option now.”  
“I let you go away with this.” She laughed. He was not only right, he was also a very good observer. She couldn’t stand anymore but didn’t want to end their time here. 

“Can you light the fire?”  
“Sure.” Sara took some paper and her lighter and lit the log fire. Immediately the soft light of the little flame made her feel warmer. She and Greg were in Zion National Park, more specific in a cabin of the Zion Lodge and Sara’s job was lighting up the rock fire.   
“Thanks.” He put their bags on the floor.   
“Well, thank you. You did the hard work.”  
“Carrying our bags? Driving the car?”  
“Yes.”  
“You can call me a superhero. Your superhero.”  
“Where’s the food bag, superhero?”  
“Next to the oven. Are you turning domestic and want to cook us a dinner?”  
She lifted her middle finger as an answer, went to the little corner and started to unpack the food bag. Turning domestic, no way! She was hungry and made some dinner, that wasn’t domestic, that was…fighting the hunger.  
This was her thank you to Greg for all the help he gave her the past months. A four days trip to Zion National Park, away from Vegas, away from the everyday life. As these four days were the last days off Greg had for this year and had to work over Christmas, she thought it was a good place for him to relax. They would walk through the snow that covered the park with soft white flakes and watch old movies.   
“I’ve the chocolate box.”  
“You didn’t really bring a chocolate box.” He had be joking.   
“Of course I did. For the movie. And a huge bag of potato chips, nachos and three different dips. We’re on a holiday trip, a pre-Christmas holiday trip, we’re allowed to eat all these things.”  
“You’re crazy.”  
“Don’t worry, I got some juice too. You can get your vitamins from there.”  
“Potato chips and chocolate. Am I having a long weekend with a teenager?”  
“No, with somebody who enjoys remembering college time. Did you go on crazy college trips? Spring break in Mexico?”  
“No.”  
“No? Unbelievable. You missed out wild parties and a lot of possibilities?”  
“Possibilities? Like having sex with a dozen guys on one weekend? Sounds very exciting. What did you do when the others were celebrating spring break?”  
“What makes you think I didn’t celebrate with them? That I wasn’t a party tiger?”  
“The fact that you didn’t have sex until you were twenty-two.”  
“Thanks for telling everybody in the lab.”  
“Not everybody, only the girls.”  
“Great. I still hate you for that.”  
“No, you don’t hate me. For nothing.” She hugged him and snuggled into his arms. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of for. Like I’ve no reason to be proud of having sex in a plane. It doesn’t matter when or where you have sex, what is important is what you feel for the one you have sex with.”  
“Only with women I was in love with. Even if that might be old-fashioned.”  
“It’s you and I like you because the way you are.”  
“You must like me, you took me on a trip. Four days for us, four days you will spend with me and if my eyes don’t lie we will also share a bed.”  
“We will. Why don’t you use your energy and book us a table in the restaurant for tomorrow evening?”  
“Good idea. After that I’ll set up the laptop. Why did you book a cabin without a TV?”  
“They don’t have TVs here. I’m sure we will survive.”  
“Of course.” He kissed her hair and left the cabin.   
Sara turned towards the oven. They took some food with them. A soup and fresh bread for tonight so Sara had nothing more to do than heating both things up. With a smile she sat on the couch. Holidays. The last time she was on holidays around Christmas was…she had no idea. It had been a while. Usually this was the time of the year she was more busy than other times. Her colleagues wanted time off for their families, she wasn’t married, didn’t have a relationship – or people didn’t know about her relationship – and had no reason not to work. She never minded it. Christmas wasn’t a special occasion for her, it was not like she was religious and needed these days for whatever.   
This year was different. Her accident had made it clear to her that there was more in life than work. There were so many things she wanted to do before she died. At the moment she wasn’t able to do much, she could walk like fifty yards and needed a break and if she did that too often her legs hurt the next day. According to her physiotherapist she made progress, for a inpatient person like her it felt like she didn’t make any progress at all.   
At least she had clarity about her being a donor for Sofia. Her doctor told her she could donate a kidney to Sofia but he asked her to think about it. Again. She thought about it enough. There was no question for her, she wanted Sofia to have one of her kidneys. The only problem was telling the blonde about her plans. So far there hadn’t been a good moment for Sara to talk about this; especially because Sofia hadn’t really talked with her about this topic.   
“A table for two for tomorrow seven o’clock. And I found a non alcoholic beer for you.”  
“A non alcoholic beer?” Sara furrowed her brows. What was she supposed to do with a non alcoholic beer? That was like she go skiing on grass.   
“No alcohol until you are off your medication, Sara.” He sat next to her.   
“One beer won’t hurt me.”  
“No alcohol until you’re off your medications, Sara.”   
“You repeat yourself.”  
“Only when you refuse to listen the first time.”  
“You’re no fun at all.”  
“If I’m only fun when I let you hurt yourself I prefer to be no fun. Did you take your medicine yet?”  
“No, nurse.”  
“Take it. I set the table, the soup is cooking and the bread should be warm.”  
“These are our holidays, Greg.”  
“Which is no reason to forget your medicine. I want you back in the lab ASAP.”  
“You’re so selfish.”  
“You’re such a great friend to appreciate my help and effort.” He blew her a kiss and took two bowls. There was no way he would let her go away with not taking her medicine. It was worse enough she didn’t have physiotherapy the next four days, he had to make sure she did her exercise every day. Something else she would complain about later.

“Are you really doing your exercises?” Greg couldn’t believe his eyes. Sara was doing her exercise and he didn’t have to mention them or force her. What was wrong with her?   
“Yes.”  
“How comes?”  
“I’ve a mission.”  
“A mission?”  
“Yes.” Sara put repeated her exercise ten times before she continued. “I want to have breakfast with you, Sofia and Felix on Angels Landing next summer. For that I need to be fit and these exercises help me.”  
He smiled. They drove to a spot from where they could see Angels Landing. As much as Sara wished she could try to climb 5785 feet mountain, it wasn’t possible. The trail was 2.4 miles with very steep parts and there was no way she could climb it. No matter how many breaks she made.   
“Hopefully Sofia makes her exercises too.”  
“She will. Felix will force her just like you would force me. We’re caught with two very mean men.”  
“Somehow it’s hard to feel sorry for you.” He handed her a towel.   
“Thanks. Done. Time for a shower.”  
“Do you need a hand in there?”  
“If I do I’ll call you.” She accepted his hand to get up. Getting up from the ground was very difficult, her legs didn’t have the strength to support her every time she tried it. Sometimes she dropped back on her rear end and had to start all over again.   
“I’ll be here waiting.” He put the grocery bag on the table and started to put their food in the fridge. The little shop didn’t have much, was very expensive but better than going out for dinner every night. Tonight they had their dinner in the restaurant, the next days they’d eat in their cabin. A lot of food he used to eat at college and the first time he had his own apartment. Instant food was handy and you could get used to it.   
From his laptop came music and he hummed while he cut some carrots for their tour tomorrow. Most times they just drove around, made a little walk or he pushed Sara in the wheelchair. Something she didn’t like much.   
“You know I feel like I don’t want to get back to Vegas anymore.” Sara came back from the bathroom, dressed in her PJ, ready for bed.   
“How comes?”  
“I like living in the cabin, not many people around, the silence at night and the fresh air. You can really breath here.”  
“True.”  
“And no bodies at every second corner.”  
“Are you telling me you want to quit your job? I don’t like this idea, Sara.”  
“I won’t, don’t worry.”  
“Good. Want a little cookie before you go to bed?”  
“No, my teeth are brushed.”  
“Okay then I go to the bathroom. Will you come and rescue me out of the shower if I need you?”  
“If I say yes you’ll start crying out my name as soon as you’re under the shower so I won’t help you. That’s something the ranger can do.”  
“You’re a mean woman, Sara Sidle.”  
“I heard that before.” She grinned. There were many times she got called mean, it wasn’t something she minded. Usually the people who called her mean were her friends, other people didn’t dare to say these words out loud. Another benefit when you’re known to be not very kind and friendly and – mean.   
She turned off the music and all lights beside the little one next to the bed. It was after ten, still early but they were on holidays and Greg didn’t get a lot of time to sleep the last days and as soon as he was back in Vegas, he had a lot of work on his hands. Their trip was supposed to give him time to refill his batteries. For her it was the first change since their day trip to the Grand Canyon to see something else than Sofia’s house, her condo or the hospital. It was good to be away from Vegas. Very good. She felt like a human again.   
“You know it’s a kind of strange to go to bed now. In Vegas life starts at this time and here everybody is since hours in their cabins. Only a handful of people are in the restaurant that will close at eleven.”  
“It’s nice, isn’t it?”  
“I forgot how it felt, reminds me of my childhood.” He slipped next to her. “Safe and quiet.”  
“Will you tell me another story of your family now?”  
“No, I keep the stories for work.”  
“Thanks god.”  
“Does that mean you don’t like my family stories?”  
“You say weird things most times, I don’t want to kick you out of the bed for telling weird things.”  
“Thanks.” He switched off the light and pulled her closer. “I should throw you out of bed for that.”  
“You’d never do something like that.”   
“Don’t be too sure.”  
“I am.” She got her arms around him. “Didn’t we agree on everybody has its own side?”  
“No, WE didn’t agree on that, YOU agreed on that.”  
“Right. I should get over to my side, shouldn’t I?”  
“If you want that, yes.”  
“Actually I don’t want that. I want to be close to you.” She kissed his cheek. “Very close.” Her lips touched the corner of his mouth. “Closer.” Her lips met his and kissed them. Not stopping there her tongue demanded entrance to his mouth which was granted. He welcomed her with responding the kiss, getting his arm under her, shifting her a bit so that he was with his upper body on top of her. His hands found their way under her shirt, stroking her back softly while they were still kissing.   
This was the best Christmas gift for both of them. 

Christmas

“You didn’t tell me! How dare you?”   
“What?” Sara looked confused at Sofia who stood in the door frame with angry eyes, hands on her hips, swaying a bit because she didn’t have the balance to stand still.   
“You didn’t tell me! You kept it a secret!”  
“I’m not quite sure if I can follow you…I didn’t tell you what? And please come in and have a seat. Where are your crutches? You’re not supposed to walk without them.”  
“Don’t try to change the topic.” Sofia came into the room and dropped herself next to Sara on the brunette’s bed. “I should kick you out of the house.”  
“What for?” What could possible be so bad that she did to give Sofia a reason to kick her out of the house? On Christmas Eve. Not this day meant anything special to Sara but she knew it meant something to the blonde.   
“You and Greg.” Sofia had seen Sara kissing Greg goodbye. Not like you kiss goodbye a good friend, a long and very passionate goodbye kiss you only gave your lover. “Kissing in the hallway.”  
“Oh, that.”  
“Not oh that. It’s not an ‘oh that’. It’s huge.”  
“Why? Are you telling me you are jealous? Are you interested in Greg?”  
Sofia stared at Sara for a moment until she realized the brunette wasn’t kidding her. It was a serious question. How could Sara be so…Sara?  
“No, I’m interested in you, Stupid.”  
“What?” Now it was Sara who looked puzzled. “Are you telling me…?”  
“Sara, try to think like an ordinary person for once. All I wanted you tell is that you didn’t tell me you and Greg were a couple, what you are supposed to tell your best friend and I wanted to tell you off for that. That’s it. It’s not about jealousy and I’m not interested in him or you. I want to be informed that’s what this is about.”  
“Oh.”  
Sofia sighed and closed her eyes, stretching out on Sara’s bed. “You’re a strange person sometimes.”  
“Why?”  
“Because…why didn’t you tell me?”  
“That I’m apparently strange?”  
“About you and Greg.” Sofia couldn’t believe Sara couldn’t follow her. Or did she only pretend she couldn’t follow her?   
“I didn’t know it’s important.”  
“Let me repeat me myself: I’m your friend, girlfriends tell each other everything, especially when it has anything to do with relationships, boys and…these two things are enough. You’re supposed to tell me.”  
“Okay.” Sara closed her eyes and exhaled. This was a weird conversation. A conversation she had no idea why she had it at all.   
“Sara?”  
“Yes?”  
“You should tell me what happened in Zion. Between you and Greg before you start to tell me about the weather, any nature disaster or science news you saw on TV…”  
“There weren’t TVs in the cabin.”  
“Whatever. You and Greg!”  
“What can you possible want to know?”  
“Oh just…everything!”  
“And everything is your business because we are know each other?”  
“Friends, Sara. We’re friends. One day you will feel comfortable about that. You missed me while you were away, it’s a sign of friendship and care.”  
“Who said I missed you?”  
“Open your eyes, look into my eyes and tell me what you didn’t miss me.” Sofia leant on the side and looked at Sara, her arm over the brunette’s belly.   
Sara blinked at her with one eye. “I didn’t miss you – the first ten minutes.” Sara pulled Sofia in her arms. “The next time I want you to join us. You know I want to climb Angels Landing in the morning and have breakfast on top with you, Felix and Greg.”  
“As long as you don’t want to do that any time soon.”  
“Maybe in May?”  
“Sounds good. And Greg wants to do that too?”  
“Yes. And I did the first step. I kissed him. The second night. We were in bed – a king sized bed – and suddenly I realized that he was everything I wanted. He is very smart, he’s funny and trustful. I know that his feelings for me are real, he would never disappoint or hurt me. And he gets me out of the world of science to do some crazy things, things are good for me and see the world like…like a human and not like a scientist.”  
“Good decision. And you’re right. He’s good for you. You look happier.”  
“I am happy.”  
“But?”  
“I didn’t say but.”  
“You didn’t have to I heard it anyway. Talk to me, Sara.”  
“Not today, okay? Lets…lets talk about only about happy things the next two day. Lets have happy Christmas and we talk about other – not so happy things – later.”  
“Sure?”  
“Yes. I promise.”  
“Okay. Anything I can do for you?”  
“You can get me a hot chocolate, I’m too lazy to get up.”  
“No way I leave your arms. It’s nice and cozy in here.” Sofia kissed Sara’s cheek. “Are you ready for a night with my parents? They’ll come over for dinner.”  
“And they’ll be here tomorrow, a happy family Christmas.”  
“Without your new boyfriend.”  
“Without one of my best friends. If I weren’t been ill I would be with him at the lab. It’s a place I feel definitely better than here. I belong into the lab and not into a family feast; a family I don’t belong to.”  
“Who said you don’t belong to this family?”  
“I’m not a Curtis.”  
“You don’t need the surname Curtis to belong to the family. It’s about emotional connection.” Sofia took Sara’s hand and held it. “You are part of my family, Sara. And you don’t belong into the lab over Christmas, you belong into my living room, under the tree with a million gift boxes and a smile on your face, a hand on your stomach because you ate too much. That is how you’re supposed to spend Christmas.”   
“I never spent Christmas like that.”  
“In that case it’s about time you experience this.”  
“My first real Christmas.” Sara stroke softly over Sofia’s back. “I’m glad I spend my first real Christmas with you. And Felix. He’s a great guy, a real sunshine. I will miss Greg but I can see him before he goes to work and he will wake me up in the morning for a little Christmas breakfast. Knowing Greg he comes up with something special.” Sara smiled. Greg always found something to surprise her. 

“The most important part of Christmas is the mistletoe.” Felix got down the chair he used to fix the mistletoe on the lamp in the living room.   
“You’re only after all the kisses you want to get.”   
“Your kisses, Detective Dazzling. Put the heavy box down!”  
“I need to carry my Christmas presents myself. I bought them myself, I’ll put them under the tree myself.” Sofia tried to keep her balance having the big box in both arms and no crutches to support her and her legs.   
“And I carry the box for you to the tree. No discussion!” He took away the box and carried it to the tree.   
“I’m not…”  
“Sensible.” He handed her the crutches. “I know you’re an independent woman, it’s something I like a lot about you but that doesn’t mean you can ignore your injuries. Your legs are still not strong enough to carry you without support, one wrong fall and they might be broken again. Do you want to be another few weeks in hospital? Did you enjoy your time there so much?   
“They won’t let me stay another six or seven weeks.”  
“No they won’t. It will be only a few days if you’re lucky. Do you want that? New Years Eve in hospital instead here with us?”  
“No, of course not.”  
“Then stop acting stupid.”  
“You are very cheeky.”  
“I’m right.” He pulled her on the couch. “You can’t go back to normal. Not now. You work hard to get back to where you have been before the attack, don’t destroy all the things you’ve reached already by being stubborn. Don’t overdo it. Allow yourself some time out and a break when you need it; before you feel pain.”  
“Maybe you should become a nurse.” She put her head on his shoulder. He was right, she knew it. The box was too heavy and risking your health because you’re stubborn was pretty stupid.   
“I’m your private nurse.”  
“You take care of the brunette too.”  
“Yes, she’s special. Two special women and me in one house, a dream of every man.”  
“I don’t think men dream practically of special women, only about special parts of women.”  
“Yes we do.”  
“Of which part of me do you think of most?” She smirked.   
“I’ve to narrow it down to one part?” He gave her a good look-over. “That’s difficult. Can I dream of more than one part? Lets say three?”  
“And which three parts would that be?”  
“First of all your amazing mind, I like women with a head of their own, a smart head. You’re a very smart woman, I’m attracted to intelligence. Second this heart stopping smile of yours. You flash a smile and it’s like the rest of the world stops to look at you. Third your eyes, this blue like the ocean or the sky on a perfect summer day. If it would be possible to actually drown in eyes I liked to drown in your eyes.”  
She kissed his cheek. “If I had a low self-esteem you would be exactly what the doctor prescribed.” The door bell rang.   
“I am the best medicine for you, you don’t need a doctor to know that. Get your presents under the tree I let your parents in. If we’re lucky Sara and Greg heard the door bell too and she comes down for brunch.”  
“If they’re not too busy celebrating Christmas on their own.” Sofia grinned.   
“After two hours they should be done.”  
“Depends on the celebration. Some are so good they take longer.”  
“So you like long celebrations?”  
She smirked and got up. “Don’t let my parents wait too long, boy.”  
“Ouch.” He left the living room.  
Sofia shook her head amused and put the gift boxes under the tree. He was flirting with her. Shameless. Even worse she did flirt with him. A bit. It felt good. She always liked to flirt and he was a good flirt partner because she was sure he knew the line and would never overstep it.   
“Sofia, Honey, merry Christmas.” Her mother hugged and kissed her.   
“Merry Christmas mom.”  
“Merry Christmas Sofia.” Her father hugged her.  
“Merry Christmas dad.”  
“I see you got a Christmas tree this year.”  
“Yes Felix got it. He insisted on a big tree.”  
“It looks good. Shall we put our gifts under it too?”  
“Yes. The more the better.”  
“Now you sound like thirty years ago. There could never be too many gifts under the tree for you.”  
“I love gifts. Not only receiving them, also giving them away.”  
“Where is your third housemate?”  
“Here.” Sara came in the room. “Merry Christmas.”  
“Merry Christmas Sara. Won’t Greg come down?”  
“He’s asleep since one hour and joins us for dinner later.” Sara cocked her head. “There are two people under the mistletoe. I might not be the person with the biggest knowledge about Christmas but I know what that means.”  
All eyes got up before they laid on Felix and Sofia’s mother.   
“Looks like you got what you wanted when you put the mistletoe there, you get your kiss.” Sofia laughed.   
“I get a kiss from a very attractive woman.”  
“I could be your mother.”  
“A very attractive mother. But I prefer not to be your son, Captain because I like flirting with your daughter and I can’t flirt with my sister. Hopefully you forgive me that.”  
“That you don’t want me as a mother or that you flirt with my daughter?”  
“Both.”  
“You proved that you take care of her so I won’t shoot you for that.”  
“Thanks. Kiss please.”  
“Since when does the woman have to kiss the man?”  
“This is a modern Christmas party with women in charge.” He offered her his cheek.   
“He respects women in charge, very good.” She kissed him. “Maybe Sofia wants to kiss you too.”  
“No, I kiss Sara.” Sofia got her arm around Sara and pulled down on the couch. “Merry Christmas again.” A big smacker ended on Sara’s cheek. “I love you and you’re not supposed to stand around the whole time. Stay with me on the couch.”  
“Says the one who carried a big box downstairs.”  
“Shush. Or kiss you on the lips so you can’t talk anymore.”  
“Stop threatening me.” Sara wrapped her arms around Sofia’s arm and snuggled into them. “We have to do our exercise later.”  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, after lunch, this is not a boot camp, this is a Christmas party.”  
“No reason to forget what’s good for our bodies.”  
“Food.”  
“The food you plan to eat isn’t good for…” Sofia stopped Sara by making her threat come true. A big kiss was plant right on Sara’s lips and shut her up.   
“I warned you.”  
“Sexual harassment.”  
“It’s only a harassment when you didn’t like it and you liked it.”  
“Evidence?”  
“Why don’t you both take your crutches and walk to the table?” Felix stopped them. “I get the food….and then I want a kiss like this from both of you – no matter if we’re under the mistletoe or not!”  
“He dreams.” Sara smiled.  
“Yeah, he does that quite often. Cute, isn’t it?”  
“Absolutely.” They helped each others up and walked to the table. Time to have the Christmas lunch Felix and Sofia’s dad prepared. 

“I didn’t know Christmas can be like this.” Sara played with Sofia’s hair. The blonde laid on the couch, head on Sara’s lap, letting the food settle down.   
“Relaxing?”  
“Yes.”   
“Well there is no reason for us to rush, we had lunch, we have a tree and we have us.”  
“You two look like you’re on holidays.” Sofia’s mother said.   
“It’s called sick leave, mother, and we need to rest.”  
“Does that mean you can’t get your Christmas presents?”  
“No! No that doesn’t mean we can’t get our Christmas presents. It means we can’t get up and get them ourselves. Besides, Sara can’t get up because of my head and I can’t get up because I need to be attached to her.”  
“Honey, you know she has a boyfriend?”  
“Yes I do. She broke my heart.”  
“I will break something else of you if you don’t stop talking bullshit.”  
“Love you too.” Sofia blew Sara a kiss.   
“You’re lucky that I like you that much otherwise I had hurt you already.” Sara grumbled.   
“You would never hurt me.”  
“Don’t bet on it.”  
“It’s something I’d bet my house on. Or my presents. Let them roll, I want to see what I got. Felix, are you our Santa Claus?”  
“Will you sit on my lap if I am?”  
“No, I stay on the couch.”  
“In that case we leave the Santa part to your mom. Apparently mothers are good at these things…and I never got a Christmas present from a mother.”  
“Not?” Sofia’s mother furrowed her brows. “Who gave you your presents?”  
“Foster parents I wasn’t allowed to call mom or dad.”  
“These kind of people shouldn’t be allowed to have a child at home.”  
“The system doesn’t look that close into families, they’re happy when they get rid off the kids.”  
“Were you allowed to sit on their laps when they gave you your present?”  
“No.”  
“Why don’t you sit on my lap?”  
“I like that offer but your legs wouldn’t appreciate that. Can I sit next to you instead?”  
“Between me and Sofia?”  
“Only if you don’t mind.”  
“Be our guest.” Sara pushed Sofia off her lap and made some space for Felix. “Sorry Sofia this has priority.”  
“It’s all right.” Sofia kissed Felix’ cheek when he sat next to her. “We have him in between us, like two angels next to Jesus.”  
“Or the ox and donkey.” Sofia mother chuckled.   
“Thanks mom, you’re kind.”  
“Sorry, it fit the Christmas story. Okay, ready for the presents?”  
“I’ve never been more ready than today.” Felix took Sara’s and Sofia’s hand. “This is already a perfect Christmas.”  
“Wait until you get your presents, son.”  
“Yes mom.”   
“Marie, you’re Santa and not a drill instructor.”  
“Mark, don’t interrupt me or you won’t get your presents.” Sofia’s mother took the first box. “Sofia, you get the first one.”  
“Like twenty years ago.”  
“Yes. Some things never changes.”   
“I wonder what’s inside.”   
“You won’t open it until we all have our presents.” She handed her husband a box. “Same for you! You’re both the same when it comes to presents.”  
“She is a drill instructor and not a Santa or an angel.” Sofia’s dad rolled his eyes.   
A minute later they all had boxes on their laps and were busy unwrapping them. Sofia’s second box contained a smurf.   
“Vanity smurf?” She looked at Sara. “Why him?”  
“Who says this is my present to you?”  
“Because nobody else would give me Vanity smurf.”  
“You think they don’t think you’re beautiful.”  
“Vanity smurf is all about narcissism and arrogance and you are the only one who would call me something like that. It’s your gift, Sara. Why?”  
“He’s the most beautiful smurf.”  
“So he thinks.”  
“You don’t think so?”  
“Why him? I want the reason, Sara.”  
“Because of the card you ignored constantly.”  
Sofia looked in the box. Now she saw the little card that was on the ground. She took it and read what was written on it. “Are you serious?”  
“Yes.”  
“And you come with me?”  
“Do you think I need it?”  
“Yes.”  
“Thanks. Bitch.”  
“What are you talking about?” Sofia’s mother asked. “What is written on that card, Sofia?”  
“It’s a voucher for a week on a beauty farm. Apparently I need a complete made over and Sara will join me.”  
“Getting rid off what is left of the attack before we return to work so the suspects won’t run away because they’ll line up to be arrested by her.” Sara grinned.   
“Don’t they do that anyway?”   
“No Felix, you’re the only one who doesn’t run.”  
“If I ran I’d run into your arms and not away from you, Vanity.”   
Sofia bopped him. She had to make sure Felix spend less time with Sara. She wasn’t a good influence on him. 

A knock on the door made Sara look up. It was past midnight and she was about to switch off the light. Her Christmas presents were under the tree because she liked the look of it. The tree wasn’t complete without presents.   
“Hey, am I allowed to come in?” Sofia peeked around the corner. “Or do you want to go to sleep?”  
“Come in.”  
Sofia closed the door with her crutches and made her way to Sara’s bed, a little bag around her shoulders.   
“You look tired but happy.”  
“I am – both.” Sara pulled her blanket away so Sofia could slip under it. She had the window open and it was fresh in the room. Too fresh to sit around with boxers and a t-shirt.   
“One more minute and you’re allowed to sleep. I just want to give you this.” She handed the brunette a little box.   
“What’s that?”  
“Open it and your eyes and your brilliant mind will tell you.”  
Sara snorted and opened the box. A little pendant was in it. “What is it? A shield?”  
“Yes.” Sofia pulled her necklace out, a sword was on it. “Sword and shield, the two most important things for a warrior. We’re warriors, we’re in a battle and we will win this battle. This is supposed to remind us never stop fighting, no matter how bad it is. We were on the edge of life and death and we fought our way back into life.”  
“Why do you have the sword and I have the shield?”  
“You’re the CSI, you protect evidence, shield it. I’m the detective, I fight against the bad ones, handle weapons.”  
“I’ve got a gun too.”  
“And if I do my job right you don’t have to use it.”  
“You always do your job perfect.”  
“Except for one evening.”  
“Sometimes even the bravest and best warrior can’t win a fight without an army.” Sara opened her necklace and put the shield on it.   
“I hope these items will keep us saver.”  
“Scientific no they won’t. They can’t do anything. But the human being lives on more than sciences, what somebody believes is what gives them power. You can feed a warrior with the best food for a healthy and strong body if this warrior doesn’t have the willpower and wish to win the fight, doesn’t have anything to fight for, believe in, he will be useless. Body and soul have to be equal for success.”  
“That so doesn’t sound like you.”  
“Not?”  
“No. I like it.”  
“Because it doesn’t sound like me?”  
“Because it’s true.” Sofia closed her eyes. “What would you do if I reject to get up and walk back into my room?”  
“It’s your house I can’t do anything. You can choose wherever you want to sleep.”  
“Oh come, don’t give me this bullshit. Would you sleep in my bed? On the couch?”  
“My legs don’t feel like walking this far I’d switch off the light, ignore you and sleep.”  
“Perfect. Good night.” Sofia turned and snuggled deeper into Sara’s pillow.  
“You can’t be serious.”  
“Absolutely. My legs also don’t want me to walk anywhere else. I did more than it was good for me anyway. Sleep tight.”  
Sara shook her head. Sofia seriously wanted to stay in this bed. Okay, it was Sofia’s bed, the whole furniture was Sofias but that wasn’t a reason to waltz in and take over. She left it to Sara for the next weeks and…it didn’t matter. The blonde was here and made it obvious she won’t leave any time soon.   
“You’re lucky this is a Queen size bed.”  
“Mhm I know, I bought it myself when I was fourteen. Want to know what I did in here and with whom?”  
“No thanks.”   
“Good, would take all night.”  
“Show off.”  
“Wanted woman.”  
“Vanity smurf.”  
“I hate you.”  
“You don’t.” Sara switched off the light. “Have nice dreams.”  
“Hopefully we will be waken up with fresh coffee and warm bagels. I ordered something like that, maybe somebody takes pity on us.”  
“Felix does whatever you suggest. He’d swim across the ocean to get you an original Japanese sushi roll.”  
“He’s cute and so is Greg. Will he kill me for sleeping with his girlfriend?”  
“You will sleep next to me not with me.”  
“Having you in my arms.”  
“You will stay on your side of the bed.”  
Sofia turned and pulled Sara into her arms. “I like it when you dare me.”  
“Do you want my elbow on your nose, my fist in your stomach or my foot on your knee? Or all three together?”  
“I’m fine with what I’ve got. Thanks.”  
“One day you will have enormous pain and I will be the one who gave it to you.”  
“Sure. You have the shield, not the sword.”  
“I’ll smack the shield on your arrogant head.”  
“I like you too.”  
“Smug bitch.” Sara kissed Sofia’s forehead. “Sleep tight. Thanks for giving me the chance for a real Christmas.”  
“You’re welcome and invited for the next one.” Sofia yawned. Now it was really time to sleep. In Sara’s bed. Next to her. Crazy but much more comfortable than walking to her own bed. 

Sara hugged Sofia and pulled her in her arms. “Weren’t you told not to walk around without crutches?”  
“I were and I ignored it. Busted.”  
“Come on, take the two coffees, I take two blankets and we have seat outside in the garden swing. It’s cold but with the blankets in the sunshine it should be all right.”  
“Sounds like a good idea. When I have coffee mugs in my hand I can’t take the crutches.”  
“Think of them like they were your swords, warrior.”  
“Nice try.” Sofia blinked at Sara and followed her with the coffee into the garden. Covered with the blankets they made themselves comfortable in the morning sun. It was one day before New Years Eve, the house was empty and their physiotherapist wasn’t due for another three hours.   
“It’s quiet here when everybody is gone.”  
“Yes. The house was very alive during Christmas, now that they’re all working and we’re left here to wait it’s quiet. I’m glad you offered me to stay with you, it would be very boring and lonely in my condo.”  
“You can get lonely?” Sofia teased softly.  
“Yes I can. Sometimes even after a few hours so that I made a long, long journey to see a smug blonde in hospital.”  
“Our doctors wanted to kill you for that. That wasn’t smart, Sara.”  
“I know. I paid a painful price for it. But I felt much better when I was back with you. After six weeks being with you more or less 24/7 it was strange sitting alone in my condo. It was like something or somebody was missing.”  
“Me.”  
“Somebody who annoyed me more than the silence.”  
“Don’t try to take back a compliment.”  
“What compliment?” Sara laughed. “I never…” She stopped when a white cat jumped out of the blue on her lap. A second later the second cat, a black one, landed on Sofia’s lap. “Well hello Louise.”  
“Are you two looking for a warm place, Jorja? And you thought the blankets look nice? You can have your share but you won’t get the whole blanket.”  
“They were very well behaved, I thought they would jump into the tree a few times a day to play with the decoration.” Sara petted her cat and it started purring, snuggling into her lap.   
“Of course they are. And they like you.”  
“Just like their mommy?”  
“Yes. Give me a kiss.” Sofia held her cheek towards Sara.  
“What makes you think you will get away with this?”  
“Pretty please?”  
“Nag.” Sara kissed Sofia .Why did Sofia want a kiss and why did she obey? “Happy?“   
“As happy as you are. Even if I can see some dark shadows in your eyes.”  
Sara wanted to tell Sofia she was wrong, that everything was all right and she was fine. But that was a lie and she knew, the blonde knew it too.   
“I’m happy. My life couldn’t be better – when I see it realistic and not start dreaming and wishing about things that won’t happen.”  
“We need dreams to survive the real life.”  
“Dreams that can’t get true only hurt.”  
“I know what you mean. I wish I could have a life without dialysis but if I’m realistic I know this won’t happen. I’m on the list but they won’t give me a kidney until it’s so bad that dialysis can’t help me anymore. Until then I won’t go somewhere without making sure I will get the treatment I need. No long beach vacations.”  
“Sofia.” Sara took The hand of the blonde. “There is a way. A way that you can live your old life.”  
“I won’t get an organ any time soon.”  
“You can.”   
“How? Hacking into the list and put my name on top? Somebody will notice that and I don’t think I could live with that.”  
“You can get an organ from somebody who donates it for you.”  
“They tested my parents, they’re not suitable donors. Beside them there is nobody else who could give me a kidney…and I don’t know if I would take it.”  
“There is somebody else.” Sara said carefully. She wasn’t sure if she did the right thing, the right way.   
“Who?”  
“Your doctor tested somebody and…Sofia? According to your doctor I can donate…”  
“No!”   
“Please let me…”  
“No!”  
“Sof…”  
“No, Sara! No. I won’t let you do that.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because…” Sofia tried to get up but was held back by Sara.   
“Don’t run.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Why?”  
“Because.” Sofia sighed. “I can’t. It’s impossible. No. It’s not like…you buy me a book or a plant, it’s…it’s a kidney, your kidney and you need it yourself.”  
“A human needs a kidney. One kidney.”  
“And when the kidney you have left stops working you have a problem. A problem I caused.”  
“Sorry to tell you but you’re absolutely wrong here. First of all that you are in the situation you are in isn’t your fault, it’s the fault of the man who injured you. Second you are not a problem and it’s my decision. I have had broken legs and not a brain damage. I thought about it for before I asked your doctor and then I thought again while he tested me and after he told me I can be a donor for you. It’s not a decision I made out of a mood.”  
“It’s your kidney.”  
“I want you to have it. Can you please consider it?”  
“How much time do you give me to think about it?”  
“As much as you need.”  
“I don’t feel comfortable about it to be honest but I will think about it.”  
“Thanks.” Sara put her arm around Sofia, kissed her hair and held on to her. “I love you, Sofia. These weeks with you in hospital, this night when he attacked us…my first thought when I woke up was you. I saw these ‘thing’ next to me, this white mummy that was supposed to be a human and I needed to see if it was you, needed to know if you’re alive. That was why I walked over to your bed despite all the pain and danger. I had to know that you’re alive.   
No matter how bad our relationship was at the beginning I’m very sorry for how I acted. Fact is I realized you’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and I don’t want to lose you. Not to a madman, not a disease and I will do everything that is necessary to make sure you will spend a lot of time with me, inclusive a holiday trip to the beach.” Sara swallowed and fought tears.   
“I love you too.” Sofia hugged her and kissed her. “Give me some time, please. I promise I will think about it.”  
“Okay.”  
“Until then you and me will make the best out of us and the situation. Having you here makes everything easier.”  
“If I weren’t here you had a young man who does everything for you. Your own toy boy.”  
Sofia laughed. “He’s not a boy and there’s no way I’d play with him. Felix is a great man and I hope he will stay here for a very long time.”  
“I’m sure he will stay as long as you want him to stay.”  
“I won’t ask him to stay when I find out he’s better off somewhere else.”  
“He looks fine with you.”  
“Everything looks good next to me, my beauty shines on everybody.”  
“My Smuggy.” Sara blinked. This was her Sofia, back to normal. 

“Hey.” Greg kissed Sara.   
“Hey, you look tired.”  
“It was the third double in a row. Somehow Las Vegas went nuts the last days.” He sat on Sara’s bed, pulled her into his arms and kissed her again. The last days he hadn’t spent much time with her, when he came home he needed his sleep and after that he had to go right back to the lab. Not exactly how he wanted this week to work out. “How was your day?”  
“We were tortured by our physiotherapist, Sofia had dialysis and I made her an offer she hopefully won’t refuse.”  
“What did you offer her?”  
“A kidney.”  
“What?”   
“Don’t be mad, please. I know I should have talked about this with you but…when I found out that Sofia’s kidneys are damaged my first thought was how to help her. I talked to her doctor if I’m a suitable donor, he told me to worry about my own condition. So I waited a little bit and asked him again. He promised to check and I am a suitable donor. Nevertheless it took me over a month talking to her because I never found the right moment. Today I had to talk to her and…she wasn’t happy. I hope she’ll change her mind, I can live with one kidney and if takes the other she can live without dialysis and go back to normal and…”  
“Sara.” He stopped her, kissed her. “You are right. It had been nice if you had talked to me about this but it’s your kidney and your decision.”  
“You’re my boyfriend.”  
“I am.” He smiled. The thought of it made him smile no matter in what situation he was. He was Sara’s boyfriend. They were a couple. “And I know you need your freedom. If I start telling you what to do I’ll be your ex boyfriend very soon. It’s a big decision you made, a very big one, life changing for you and her. You told me you thought about it for a while and I’m sure you made this offer because you’re sure what you’re doing. So I hope that the next time you have some big decisions to make I’ll be involved somehow. For this decision the best thing I can do is support you.”  
“Thanks. I love you.” She buried her face in his shoulder. “I’m so glad I have you.”  
“I don’t like the thought seeing you in hospital again but this time it’s for a good reason.”  
“It is.”  
“Any other things I should know about and you haven’t told me yet?”  
She swallowed. Actually there was something. Something she was afraid of telling him. “Isn’t one thing enough for today?”  
“What is the second thing, Sara?”  
“Greg.” She sighed. Why did he have to see there was a second thing?  
“Honey, just tell me. It won’t change my feelings to you.”  
The problem was she wanted to believe him but at the same time she wasn’t sure if what she had on her mind would change everything. Inclusive his feelings to her.   
“Maybe we keep that for another day.”  
“Will it make it better when we wait?”  
Sometimes a lie was better, made things easier. The problem with lies was not only that they were lies but if you told one you needed a second, third and so on to support this one lie, make it sound true.   
“No.”  
“So why not talking about it now before it’s even worse?”  
“Because…it’s not a nice thing.”  
“I can see that in your eyes. They’re sad which gives my heart a lot of pain. I won’t ask you if you don’t trust me and therefore keep it secret, that’s nothing more than an emotional way to blackmail somebody into something this person doesn’t want.”  
Sara closed her eyes. She knew she should tell him. Why was it so difficult? Why was she so scared? She knew he wouldn’t hate her. Probably there was nothing she could do to make him hate her. And he deserved the truth. It had something to do with him, was his business too. It was only fair to be open and trust him.   
“I was pregnant.” Three words that said everything and at the same time didn’t tell him anything.   
“You were pregnant?”  
“Yes. I was seventh week pregnant. And no, I don’t know who the father was. Pretty silly, isn’t it? I went out, got very drunk and had unprotected sex with a stranger. The only smart thing I did within these twenty-four hours was making an HIV test. It’s negative, I had it repeated in hospital. For the rest: I was stupid and am sorry for being stupid and disappointing you.”  
“Why should I be disappointed?”  
“Because I had unprotected with a stranger, putting my life at risk – and that of possible other sex partners.”  
“First of all you made the HIV test so you didn’t put anybody’s else life at risk and second it makes you human. Doing something stupid is what everybody does every now and then. A one night stand isn’t like you blew off a building.”  
“I got pregnant.”  
“Which is absolutely human too – at least for women.”  
“Usually women don’t get pregnant from unwanted one-night-stands.”  
“You’ve never been an usual woman.” He pulled her closer and kissed her. “I’m sorry you lost the baby. I really am.”  
Sara swallowed harder. “It’s not only that. Greg…I lost the baby during the attack and I…I can’t…can’t get pregnant anymore. I don’t know exactly what happened that night but he hit me with whatever and…my eggs can’t nest in anymore so even when I get pregnant I’ll lose the child immediately. You always wanted children, I can’t give you any so if you don’t want to be with me anymore I can under…” He stopped her with a long passionate kiss.   
“Sara, I want you. Yes I do want children but even more I want you. If we can’t have children together why not adopt some? There are a lot of children waiting for a good home and I think we can offer children a very good home.”  
“I’m not sure if I can be a good mother.”  
“We both will join a cooking course so we can provide real meals.”  
“It’s not about the meals, Greg. It’s about being able to give a child enough love, knowing how to raise it.”  
“You’re full of love, Sara.”  
“Am I?”  
“Absolutely. You love me, you love Sofia and Felix. Not the same way you love me – I hope – but you love them.”  
“Who said I love Sofia?” She did and it wasn’t that long ago. No need to tell him. That was something nobody had to know.   
“Even you didn’t tell her it’s obvious. You grew very, very close.”  
“We have a bad experience in common.”  
“I won’t argue with you about your relationship to Sofia. You want to donor one of your kidneys to her, that says enough.” He smiled, knowing he had a point she couldn’t argue with. You don’t give one of your kidneys to somebody you don’t love. 

“You look serious.” Felix sat next to Sofia, his guitar next to him. He found the blonde in the garden under her blankets with the cats next to her. She was back from physiotherapy and dialysis and enjoyed the last sun rays.   
“I live a serious life.”  
“Usually you find a reason to smile in your serious life.”  
“Later.”  
“Do you want company or do you prefer to be alone?”  
“I prefer to be with you.”  
“Good.” He got his arm around her. “What can I do to put a smile on your face?”  
“Nothing.”  
“That’s not a lot.” He kissed her hair. “How was your day?”  
“Why don’t you tell me about your day? I haven’t seen you the whole time.”  
“Okay. I left around eight and went to the east shopping center, played there for five hours, made around forty bucks which isn’t that bad for a work day. After that I went to the Desert Plaza, played there for six hours, made almost Benjamin, bought some food and came back here. Your fridge is stocked, there’s a steak waiting for you, a mixed salad and some French fries.”  
“Thanks. You made a hundred and forty dollar today? That’s pretty good. Eleven hours of playing that’s around thirteen dollars per hour, more than a lot of people with proper jobs earn.”  
“The people with proper jobs get their money every day, I have bad days and don’t make more than I need for food or even less.”  
“I didn’t mean to say what you do isn’t real work, I imagine it’s really hard to sing for such a long time and there will be people who aren’t that nice to you.”  
“They’re always there.”  
“Shall I come with you tomorrow and protect you?”  
“I prefer having you as a muse on my lap.”  
“You can’t have me on your lap when you play guitar.”  
“We can try it.”  
“You only want me on your lap.”  
“Yes. Guilty. Cuff me and interrogate me. In your room and repeatedly.”  
“No.” She put her head on his shoulder. “Won’t happen.”  
“What a pity. Where is our housemate?”  
“Upstairs with her boyfriend.”  
“In that case we shouldn’t disturb them they hadn’t seen each other for two days. While you spent a night with her.”  
“I was too lazy to get up and walk to my room, yes.”  
“You feel comfortable around her.”  
“Comfortable and safe. Whatever happened between us during the time in hospital brought us closer. Close. Maybe too close.”  
“How can you be too close?”  
Sofia closed her eyes and sighed. She wasn’t sure if this was the right topic for an evening conversation between friends.   
“Sofia? I’m sure you’re not talking about that you’re too close to Sara in a way Greg would mind.”  
“Huh? No, of course not!”  
“Don’t sound like it’s something that could never happen. You were both attacked, you recovered together, you became close in situations like that it’s possible…”  
“If you don’t stop sounding like a psychologist I’ll kick you out of the house.”  
“Sorry. So how can you be too close to her?”  
“This isn’t a good topic, Felix.”  
“It’s even more important to get bad things out of your life.”  
“You’re one foot out of, Doctor House.”  
“House is a M.D. and psychologist usually aren’t. A psychiatrist is a M.D., Dear.”  
“For a musician you’re way too smart.”  
“Thanks. I dropped out of high school which doesn’t mean I’m stupid and yes, I know you didn’t mean it this way. Just skip that and tell me what’s on your mind.”  
Sofia closed her eyes. She appreciated that he didn’t get her wrong and liked the fact that he was smart, like she liked that he cared about her.   
“Sara made me an offer I should take if I think with my left brain part and should put down when I listen to the right side.”  
“As a scientist you focus on your left side, the rational side. Most times you feel better when you listen to the emotional side.”  
“I used to work as a scientist and I prefer rational thinking but…in this case I can’t choose the rational answer.”  
“Why is that?”  
“Because…because it can put Sara’s life at risk.”  
“Does she knows that?”  
“Yes, of course.”  
“And she offers you, asked you to take the offer, anyway.”  
“Yes.”  
“But you feel the need to protect her.”  
“It’s my job and as her friend I don’t want her at risk.”  
“As a friend you accept her decision and wishes?”  
“Of course.”  
“So why can’t you accept her wish and take her offer?”  
“Because she offers me a kidney, Felix. Not a cup of coffee, some money or a piece of chocolate. Her kidney. You’re smart, you know what that means.”  
“That means you mean a hell lot to her and she’s more afraid of losing you than you can imagine.”  
Sofia looked at him. She never thought about that. How Sara felt. What made her offer her a kidney. There wasn’t any kind of pressure. Sara knew about Sofia’s physical condition before the blonde knew herself. She had made her decision before Sofia told her about the kidneys. It wasn’t like Sara felt guilty or like she had to do it because Sofia mentioned it. She thought about it because she was afraid to lose Sofia. It was worse for Sara losing her than having only one kidney and living with the danger that her left kidney might fail one day and she was the one who had to go to dialysis. This was a new angle Sofia had to think about.   
“Do you think I should take her offer?”  
“I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. If you can’t feel good taking her offer you shouldn’t do it.”  
“A kidney from Sara. That will bond us.”  
“You already have a strong connection through all the things that happened to you the night you got attacked and the six weeks in hospital.”  
“Yes. I have to talk with Sara. After Greg is at work.”  
“Good decision. For that you need some power and I know exactly what will give you this power. Steak, fries and salad. Come on Detective, time to make some dinner. Shall I carry you?”  
“Thanks for the offer but I can use my legs. You can help me up.” She held her hand out and let him pull her up on her legs. Maybe dinner helped her to find a solution for her problem. 

New Years Eve

“Have fun, take care.” Sofia kissed Felix’ cheek.   
“I will. Thanks.”  
“Don’t come home too late.”  
“Three p.m. and I will bring champagne and snacks. Anything else you need?”  
“You be back on time.”  
“That sounds like we’re a married couple and you can’t wait to have me back.”  
She pulled him into her arms. “There have been some idiots who like to rob and injure street artists lately. I got the information from a colleague I met yesterday when I was in hospital. He was there because he got attacked by…doesn’t matter. Just take care of your, will you?”  
“Yes.” He kissed her hair. “And you don’t walk too much, do your exercise and rest for tonight.”  
“I’ve a date with my garden swing, the blankets and probably my cats.”  
“Lucky things and cats. I wish I could sleep all day on your lap.”  
“Go and earn some money.” She pushed him carefully away.   
“All she is after is my money, I feel so used.” Felix grinned and left the room.   
Sofia smiled to get her worried thoughts away. She new he played at a plaza or a shopping center not on a street close to a quiet side street. Nevertheless she worried and wanted him home safe.   
When she came in the garden she found Sara on the garden swing, under the blankets, with the cats next to her.   
“Did you read my mind?”  
“I beg your pardon?” Sara looked up from her book.   
“You do exactly what I’ve planed to do, you even have the cats with you.”  
“Do you want to join me or did I unknowingly spoil your fun and you want to do something else now?”  
“How could I not want to join you?” Sofia slipped next to Sara, under a blanket. “Is Greg here?”  
“Yes, he wants to sleep for a few hours.”  
“We’ll be a lovely big family tonight, celebrating New Years Eve and have a glass of champagne. My parents will be here with the food around six, Felix promised to be back at three.”  
“You worry about him.”  
“Yes.”  
“Greg told me about the gang smacking street artists around. The police increased their presence on The Strip, the shopping centers and plazas but you know yourself they aren’t the highest priority of the LVPD.”  
“No, they aren’t.” Sofia took Jorja, put her on her lap and started massaging the cat. She loved her cats, loved to have them on her lap and spend time with them.   
“He’ll be fine, he is a smart man.”   
“He definitely is. Sara, I thought about your offer. At the moment I don’t feel very comfortable about it, that you want to do this for me. It puts pressure on me, pressure that I find something that I can do for you.”  
“There are no strings attached, Sofia.”  
“Not from your side.”  
“Why do you attach them?”  
“Because…if you give me a kidney I want to give you something back. Something special. Until I haven’t figured what that is I won’t feel comfortable with your offer and won’t take it. No matter if it’s better to take your offer.”  
“It is. What did the doctor say about your idea?”  
“He told me at the moment it’s not a good idea because our bodies are busy getting back to their old shape. When they’re better there’s no reason not to do the transplantation.”  
“Which gives me more time to think – if your offer isn’t with a time limit.”  
“I want you to be sure.” Sara took Sofia’s hand.   
“Thanks.”  
“I talked to Greg about…me not being able to get pregnant anymore and offered him the chance to leave me for that. And I told him that I want you to have a kidney of me.”  
“He is head over heels in love with you how could you possible think he would leave you?”  
“I didn’t tell him in the first place, it’s like betraying.”  
Sofia shook her head. “You didn’t tell him right away because you are a person who needs some time to tell personal things. He knows that and he appreciated that you were honest. Sara, he is the big deal and he won’t let you talk him into leaving you.”  
“I don’t want him to leave me.”  
“And you don’t feel too comfortable with his love, you feel like you can’t live up to that.”  
“I’m afraid I will disappoint him, can’t make him happy while I know that he is exactly the person who can make me happy. I want to give him something back and don’t know what.”  
“Welcome to the club.” Sofia smiled a bit. “For you the answer is: Greg loves you. He wants your love and nothing else.”  
“You think that’s enough?”  
“It’s all he ever wanted since he met you.”   
“Now I feel pressure.”  
“You’re great under pressure.” Sofia pulled Sara closer. “And you won’t disappoint him. Just be yourself.”  
“There were times when you thought just being me is the biggest punishment for human nature.” Sara chuckled.  
“Those days are gone. You’re actually not that bad.” 

“I need to talk to you!” Marie closed the kitchen door behind her and Felix.   
“Sure. What can I do for you, Captain?”  
“What’s going on between you and Sofia?”  
“Not what you’re afraid of.”  
“I’m not afraid of anything.”  
“With all due respect that’s not true, Captain.”  
“Pardon me? You want to tell me what I feel? Are you looking for trouble?”  
“According to me foster parents – all of them – I was trouble. Apart from that I pointed out a mistake. You’re afraid that something can happen to your family, you’re extremely scared that something can happen to your daughter; especially after she got attacked. That’s your weakness – in your eyes – in my eyes it’s what you call a good mother and wife.   
To get to your question: Sofia and me are friends. I won’t deny that I am interested in your daughter and yes, I am aware of that there is an age difference and it’s usually the man who is older than the woman. Marie, I know Sofia isn’t interested in me and that’s okay. All I want is being with her, making sure she’s fine and support her. She’s a friend.”  
“Does Sofia know about your feelings?”  
“She’s your daughter.” He smiled.   
“How is she doing? Something seems to bother her.”  
“Yes but I can’t tell you.”  
“What?”  
“Marie, some things she tells me are private. If I tell you I betray her and I won’t do that. No matter what kind of torture you threaten me with.”  
“I could throw you into a cell with horny guys who will love a young sweety like you.”  
“Will they have sexy tattoos, strong muscles and accents?”  
Marie rolled her eyes. “I give up. Be nice to her and nothing will happen to you.”  
“I promise you I’ll take care of her and tell her off when she does things she shouldn’t do.”  
“Good. And I will make sure my officers will keep an eye on you and make sure you’re safe.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Not for you, for my daughter. She likes you and if something happens to you it will break her heart.”  
“You’re a good mother.”  
“Tell me something I don’t know. Lets get back to the rest. You take the cheese bites.”  
“Yes Ma’am.” Felix took the plate with the cheese bites.   
Greg, Sara, Sofia and Mark were in the living room, sitting on the couch and ignoring the TV that plays an entertaining show on mute.   
“We got the cheese.”  
“Did you get the cheese straight from the Switzerland, Marie?” Mark teased. “Or did you interrogate this poor young man?”  
“We had a talk while we took care of the cheese.”  
“That’s right, just a little conversation.” Felix sat next to Sofia. “Looking forward to your champagne? Want a strawberry with it?”  
“Are you playing ‘Pretty Woman’ with me?”  
“Depends. Will we have the same happy end?”  
“If you are a millionaire we can talk about that. Mom, do you approve with my relationship to him?”  
“Your friendship? Yes.”  
“Who said it’s a friendship?”  
“Felix. Nice try, Honey.”  
“You talked with her about us?”  
“I told her I make sure you do what your doctor tells you.”  
“You are on her side.”  
“I’m on the side of your health. Want some chocolate?”  
“That’s not healthy.”  
“Makes you happy and what makes you happy is good for you.”  
“Good point. Sara?”  
“I’m fine, thanks.”  
“All she needs is Greg. Did I mention I’m glad you have the night off, Greggo?”  
“Just four times, Sofia.”  
“Don’t be cheeky. Sara, teach your boyfriend some manners.”  
“He’s perfect the way he is.” Sara snuggled deeper into Greg’s arms. The first New Years Eve she spent with him not working.   
“Thanks. I love you too.” Greg kissed Sara. “And you, Sofia.”  
“Me? Why? I mean, thanks. Why?”  
“Because you let me stay here with Sara.”  
“If I tell you not to stay here – which I never thought of – you were at Sara’s place with her and I want her and you here. It’s a family celebration and the two of you are family. I’ll get my adopting Sara so she’s my sister and you’ll be my brother in law. Can’t as for a better family.”  
“Where does this leave me?” Felix asked. “Am I a close friend?”  
“The baby brother?” Marie offered.   
“You want two more children?”  
“I did with one very good, she’s a detective, one is at least working in the law enforcement and the third one…well, I have to get into police academy to make something real out of him.”  
“What’s wrong with a musician? Or is it the place I work?”  
“No, even if you fill up stadiums with thousands of people she would still try to make a police officer out of you.” Sofia reassured him. “For my mother everything else besides law enforcement isn’t a real job.”  
“I could try to get a cleaning job at the PD.”  
“Better than a musician.” Marie shot back dryly.   
“I’m afraid you will never be happy with your only son.”  
“Looks like. Mark, what do you say to all of this?”  
“Start to accept that some people doesn’t want to be a cop, Marie. Sofia, you should ask this young man to stay longer with you, he’s good for you. Sara, I guess you make Greg a very happy man.”  
“Why did I ask you?”  
“Because you value my opinion.”  
“I think I need another glass of wine.”  
Sofia chuckled. Some things never changed. Her parents were teasing each other like they always did. Probably that was what kept their relationship working. 

Despite her physical condition Sofia liked her New Years Eve a lot. Her parents were with her for the first time in ages, she was with her friends and knew she wouldn’t wake up with a headache tomorrow. The only downside was she wasn’t allowed to drink a few beer. A New Years Eve without alcohol. The last time she didn’t drink any alcohol was…she couldn’t remember anymore.   
Watching her parents complaining about each other in a very loving way they always do when they were teasing each other made her feel like a child again. Why didn’t she spend time with them the last public holidays? She wasn’t a teenager anymore who had to pretend she was annoyed or ashamed of her parents. They made her very happy, still took care of her and tried to make her life easier.   
Next to them were Sara and Greg, holding hands, exchanging little kisses every now and then, looking very happy. At least Greg did, Sofia saw some sadness in Sara’s eyes. Especially when they showed some children on TV. The brunette thought of babies and the fact that she wasn’t able to give birth anymore. And the baby she lost. Knowing for only one day that there was a baby inside her and then out of the blue she lost it. Like she learnt about it. But with no happy end.   
And Felix, sitting next to her, stroking her arms occasionally, listening to Sofia’s parents arguing and fighting with love in their eyes. She could tell he enjoyed his time here too. They hadn’t really talked about his past but the bits and pieces he told her made it obvious he didn’t have happy family history. Hopefully he got a little inside view how family life could be. If she had a chance to make him stay she hoped he would be here for a few more New Years Eves. Knowing him and his wish to be free it could be that left when she was fit again.   
Why did she want him to stay? They met when she arrested him, it wasn’t allowed to be friendly with a criminal. He didn’t care and was all the time around, especially when she needed some help, was alone in a bar, not happy with her life. It was like he felt she needed some company and made her smile again.   
“A penny for your thought.”  
“They’re not worth more for you?” Sofia put her head on Felix’ shoulder.   
“Depends. Were they about me?”  
“If they were how much are they worth then?”  
“Good thoughts?”  
“How am I supposed to think something bad about you? Is that even possible?”  
“Impossible. Are you happy?”  
“Yes.”  
“Free of pain?”  
“Mostly.”  
“Good. Anything I can do for you?”  
“Promise me that we’ll have another New Years Eve together. And the time between this and the next.”  
“Are you asking me to stay with you for a year?”  
“I know you’re all about your freedom but if you can consider to stay as long as it makes you happy it would make me happy.”  
“If you want me to stay as long as I’m happy you have to change the time limit.”  
“Summer?” Wasn’t she asking for too much? Or not enough?  
“Summer?”  
“Late spring?” She didn’t want him to leave so fast.   
“Late spring? We can talk about that. 2040?”  
“I love you!” She hugged him and plant a huge kiss on his lips. He wanted to stay with her for longer than a few weeks or months.   
“Wow, what happens if I make 2050 out of this?” His ears were red as was his face and he tried to cover his embarrassment.   
“We’ll see that in 2040 when you tell me you’ll stay another ten years.”  
“Young man, I saw that!” Marie pointed her finger on Felix.   
“Did you like it as much as I did?”  
“Do you want to look like one of the cheese bites?”  
“Yellow?”  
“Stabbed. Get your hands off my daughter.”  
“Mom, I got my lips on him! And I had a damn good reason. He promised to stay with me and not leaving because he loves his freedom so much. He makes me very happy and if you try to stab him I’ll shoot you.”  
“I beg your pardon, Detective?”  
“You heard me, Captain.”  
“Do I have to make you go to police academy again?”  
“You can’t make me do anything.”  
“Are you daring me?”  
“Wow, time out!” Sara stepped in. “Marie, I think Sofia is old enough to know what she wants and doesn’t want. Felix is a very good friend, you know yourself how important he is to Sofia so if somebody threatens him she does what every good friend would do: she defenses him. She loves you, you know that, and she is important to him, what you also know.”  
“I let you go away with telling me off, Sara because I have great respect for you.”  
“And because I’m right.”  
Sofia chuckled. “She spent a lot of time with me, she’s getting smug.”  
“You’re a bad influence.” Sara grinned.   
“Maybe. Did you enjoy it? Do you enjoy it?”  
“Absolutely.”  
“Good. So I don’t have to change.”

A new year. The fireworks were over and they were back in Sofia’s living room. Her parents just started their third bottle of wine while Greg and Felix finished their first six pack of beer. Only Sara and Sofia were still holding on to their first drink: their half glass of champagne. With their medication they had to make sure they didn’t drink too much alcohol.   
“I tell you when I’m off these pills I’ll have a huge barbecue with a beer fountain and I’ll drown myself in it.” Sofia got her arm around Sara and pulled her close.   
“I might join you in there if that’s all right.”  
“I can’t think of somebody else I want to drown with me in a beer fountain.”  
“We have a deal.”  
“A date.” Sofia blinked.   
“A date with you? Why would I do that?”  
“Beer. Barbecue. Friendship.”  
“Three good reasons.”   
“Good reasons make it easier to make a decision…” Sofia paused. “Sara, I made a decision. About your offer.”  
“Okay.”  
“I will take your offer under one condition.”  
“Which one?”   
“I watched you tonight, I watched the last day. You and Greg. I know he wants a family that includes a child. You know you’re able to have a baby together, all you need is a surrogate mother and the two of you can have a real family.”  
“Do I have to tell you how expensive that is? That we can’t afford that.”  
“Like a kidney.”  
“What are trying to tell me, Sofia?”  
Sofia sighed. “Sara, I want to be the surrogate mother. You want to give me your kidney, a new life and I want to give the same to you. I want to make it possible for you to have a baby. For you and Greg.”  
“That’s…”  
“Don’t say something now. Think about it. Please. Like I thought about your offer. It’s the only way to make me feel comfortable with your offer but if you tell me you don’t want it all to happen it won’t change my feelings to you.”  
“I’m not sure if this is a kind of blackmailing you’re doing.”  
“It’s not. It’s an offer. Think about it. Please.”  
“Okay. And I will talk to Greg, it’s his business too.”  
“I’m glad you’ve learnt.”  
“Bite me.”  
“My pleasure.” Sofia took Sara’s hand and bit carefully in it, ending the bite with a little kiss. “I love you ,Sara.”  
“Maybe I like you too.”   
“You do.” The blonde pulled her arm around the other woman. She didn’t have to hear the words to know that Sara did. The signs were clear. 

January

“I swear I’ll kill him!”   
“That’s murder one and you’ll get the needle for this.”   
“Not if I tell the jury what he did to me. Us.” Sofia dropped on her couch. “I feel like I was run over by a train.”  
“You look much better than a person who got ran over by a train.” Sara looked out for the cats, saw Louise and tried to get her to come to her. The black cat considered it for a second or two and went on to the cat’s door.   
“Thanks that’s only my wonderful and gorgeous outside. My inside is…only gorgeous.”   
“Smug.”  
“”Fact is, he tortures us. It’s physiotherapy and not army training. Even police academy was less painful.”  
“The difference is that after police academy you were slightly more fit but after physiotherapy you can move your legs and arm better and walk a yard or few more every day. He does that to make us fit and able to work again. We both don’t want to sit on a desk for ages, we want to be out in the fields. Plus he looks pretty good when he shows us our exercises.”  
“His ass is really yummy.” Sofia grinned.   
“It is.”  
“Hey, you’re with Greg, you’re not supposed to look at other men.”  
“Says who?”  
“If you break his heart I will break your arm.”  
“The last thing I want to do is breaking his heart but I am allowed to look at other men. You know get the appetite for my main course waiting at home – or your place what feels like home already.”  
“Good. So you think our master of torture has a sexy ass?”  
“Yes.”  
“Did you see his arms and back? Like a Greek God.”  
“Absolutely. No wonders that he can get our muscles working – not only muscles to be true. Well, depends on how…I won’t get into details.”  
“Thanks.”  
“How fits Grissom into your observation that Ted has a nice ass? I mean nothing against your ex but he isn’t exactly what you call a Greek God.”  
“Not his body but his mind. Knowledge is very sexy.”  
“Now you have a very smart man who looks pretty cute and has a nice body to look at – as far as I can tell by seeing him in shorts at the pool – you should be happy.”  
“I am.”  
“And I won’t ask about your sex life because whenever when he is around you don’t leave your room and I’m very happy that my parents bought a house with thick walls.”  
“What makes you think I want to talk to you about my sex life?”  
“Girls share everything.”  
“I’m not a girl I’m a woman.”  
“My woman. Come here, my love.”  
“Leave me alone.” Sara got up. “You’re nuts and I need a bath. Maybe that will reduce the muscle pain.”  
“Want me to wash your back?”  
“The tube isn’t big enough for two.”  
“Mine is. It’s a hot tube.”  
“If we agree on wearing bikinis I might take this offer.”  
“Of course we’ll wear bikinis. Is yours white?”  
“Blue.”  
“What a pity. Five minutes?”  
“Deal. Come on, Vanity.”  
“I haven’t forgiven you this one.” Sofia pushed herself up. “That was mean, very mean. You’re lucky there isn’t a Meany smurf. Maybe I can get you Grumpy smurf.”  
“Maybe.” Sara opened the door for them. Time to climb the stairs the less enjoyable part of their trip to the hot tub. 

“Wow, what a rare guest. Very rare and very beautiful.”  
“Have a seat, take a break and lets share some fries, burgers and coke.”   
“A lunch date with a queen.” Felix sat next to Sofia, kissed her cheek. “Are you allowed to walk this far?”  
“I took a cab to the front door and walked from there to here. My physiotherapist wants me to practice and I couldn’t think of a better place to walk to than the place you’re playing. I miss sitting in the mall and listen to your music.”  
“You can come around more often I like having you around.”  
“I will do that.”  
“Where is Sara?”  
“In the lab.”  
“She’s working again?”  
“No, she’s visiting her colleagues to discuss her come back to work. Sitting at home the whole day isn’t exactly what makes her happy.”  
“Does it make you happy?”  
“No but I prefer sitting at home than in an office. File folders versus my garden swing, the couch and a barbecue for lunch. Really a hard decision.”  
“Don’t forget lunch with me in the mall.”  
“And lunch with you in the mall.”   
“Thanks.” He kissed her cheek. “You look happier.”  
“I think getting out of my place, going to the mall gives me the feeling of having my old life back. Sometimes I feel like an animal in a cage in my own home. This is my freedom and I like freedom.”  
“Who doesn’t?”  
“You. You want to give it to stay with me.”  
“Until 2040. We will have a lot of great Christmas and New Years Eves together. Will you be my little angel if I become Santa this Christmas? You can sit on my lap the whole night and have some drinks.”  
“Finished by sex?”  
“If you’re my present all you need to wear is a ribbon.”  
“You’re drooling.”  
“Of course I do when I think of a very attractive woman wearing nothing else than a ribbon.”  
She rolled her eyes. “What will you wear?”  
“A Santa hat?”  
“Where?”  
“Where would you like me to wear it?”  
“On your head, matching the rest of your costume.”  
“You’re naked, I’m dressed? Still a very nice thought.”  
“Lucky for us Christmas won’t be for another eleven and a half months.”  
“When’s your birthday? I mean the one you celebrated all the time. You told me it’s not the fourteenth of March, the date that’s shown in your I.D.. ”  
“Not important.”  
“Oh come, I ask you this question since three years. When will I get an answer?”  
“If you stay long enough you’ll find out because my parents will come around with a large cake.”  
“I told you I’ll stay and won’t leave you when your old strength is back.” He pulled her on his lap. “So far I don’t feel like in a cage, I’m free to go whenever I want and you didn’t try to talk me into an ordinary job. You accept my wish of freedom, no reason to leave.”  
“Maybe I should visit a shrink to find out why it’s so important for me to have you around.”  
“My ego says because you’re deeply in love with me. My brain says because we’re friends and friends don’t like it when one of them leaves.”  
“That’s a good explanation.”   
“Am I allowed to ask where you and Sara stand? With the donation? Are you comfortable with her offer now?”  
“I found something that makes me comfortable. The problem is Sara isn’t comfortable with my idea.”  
“Which is?”  
“I can’t tell you.”  
“Why?”  
“Because it includes things that are very personal to her and until she hasn’t told you about this I can’t tell you what we talked about. Sorry.”  
“You don’t betray your best friend, that’s exactly what I expected of you.”  
“Thanks.”  
“And now I will play a few songs for my wonderful landlady and hope she’ll enjoy this little concert.”  
“She will.” Sofia kissed his cheek. He was a great guy. 

“Did somebody call a cab?”  
“Do you actually have a driver’s license?”  
“Want to search me for it?”  
“You know I’m not Sofia, do you?” Sara got into the car and slapped Felix backside of the head playfully.   
“Yes, you’re not blonde but still very sexy.”  
“Are you flirting with me?”  
“A bit. After you’re a taken woman I can only flirt a bit.”  
“Greg will appreciate that. How comes you pick me up?”  
“Sofia and me had lunch in the mall, she spent a few hours with me, we took a taxi home and when you called for a pick-up I made the decision we let Greg sleep and I come along. And yes, I do have a driver’s license. Where would you like me to take you?”  
“Home?”  
“Like Sofia’s place?”  
“That’s home at the moment.”  
“Tell me about it. Would you mind a little detour?”  
“Depends on the detour.”  
“There’s a new vegetarian restaurant, we could stop there, get some dinner for all and go back.”  
“Sounds good. Why do you look out for vegetarian restaurants?”  
“Because I live with a vegetarian. Fasten your seat belt, please.”  
“You’re very…amazing.”  
“Thanks.” He smiled and started the car. Quietly and listening to the radio they drove through the city. Sara noticed interested how much had changed in Vegas since she had been here the last time. Over two months. She missed the city, she missed walking around and she even missed being at crime scenes.   
“Et voila, il y a le restaurant végétarien.”   
Sara looked at him surprised. “French?”  
“Oui.”  
“Why do you speak French?”  
“Parce que j'ai eu les parents adoptifs de France. I had foster parents from France. The only good thing about them was that they taught me French. Or they refused to talk to me in any other language so I had no other choice than learning their language pretty fast. Despite the opinion of most people I’m not that stupid.”  
“Who says you’re stupid?”  
“No high school degree.”  
“That doesn’t say anything about being smart.”  
“Says the one who finished high school earlier than most people, went to Harvard and Berkley and is probably one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.”  
“Thanks.” Sara opened the door. The restaurant didn’t have a drive through so they had to walk in and place their order inside. Felix handed the menu to Sara and offered her a stool.   
“A perfect gentleman.”  
“Sometimes. Do you want something to drink while we wait?”  
“No, thanks. I think I take number fourteen.”  
“Good decision. I take the thirty-seven. What do you think is good for Greg and Sofia?”  
“Steaks?” Sara grinned.  
“That’s what they want but won’t get here. As far as I know Sofia she likes cheese. There’s a spinach lasagne, she should be fine with that. What about Greg?”  
“The vegetarian plate. Everything he doesn’t like will make me happy. And dessert. Four times mouse au chocolate. Plus a bottle of…forget it.”  
“Wine?” Felix typed their order into a little screen.   
“Not today. Maybe next month.”  
“If Sofia doesn’t take your offer.”   
“Yes. What did she tell you about it?”  
“She told me that you offered her a kidney which is the kindest thing anybody ever offered to a friend.”  
“That happened a few times before.”  
“Yes but I never knew somebody who did that. You risk your life, give away a very important part of your body, to somebody because you want her to have her old life back.”  
“Anything else?”  
“No. She doesn’t tell me personal things about you.”  
Sara smiled. “I didn’t expect anything else. After the attack I can’t have children anymore and she offered me that she can be a surrogate mother for my baby.”  
“She’s offering a part of her after you offered her a part of yourself.”  
“Yes.”  
“You haven’t made up your mind about it.”  
“No.”  
“I won’t ask you any questions about it and I won’t try to tell you that to do. You’re a smart woman, you know yourself best and you will find an answer that will make you happy. And no matter what this answer is Sofia will understand and accept it.”  
“Thanks.”  
“You’re welcome. When will you get back to work?”  
“Depends on if I go back to hospital any time soon. If not I’ll be back at work in two weeks. Only four hours a day, only in the lab.”  
“That’s a good start.”  
“I’d prefer being out but I can’t walk around the scene. Maybe in a few weeks.”  
“You work pretty hard to get your old physical strength back. And enjoy the nice ass of your therapist.”  
“What?” Sara’s yaw dropped. “Sofia told you that?”  
“She mentioned that you both liked his ass – and the rest of his body. I was jealous for a second before I remembered that I share a house with her.”  
“How much are you into her?”  
“Totally. But I don’t lose contact to reality so I’m happy with being her friend. Anything else is wishful thinking.”  
“Doesn’t it hurt? Seeing her and getting close to her?” Sara closed her eyes. “Sorry, that’s not my business.”  
“It’s okay. Sometimes a friendship can develop into a love relationship. If it stays a friendship it can last for the rest of your life. Friends are more likely to stay together than lovers. I can’t loose when we’re not having a love relationship, I can only win with her in my life. She makes me happy, already had in San Francisco. The first cop who seemed to be more a human than a cop.”  
“She’s a very good detective.”  
“No doubt about that. She’ll be a great captain one day.”  
“That’s her mother’s dream.”  
“Not hers?”  
Sara thought about it for a second. “I’m not sure. She likes being a detective because she can be out on the streets. As a captain you have more paper work to do. I’m not sure if she wants that.”  
“I like my Detective Dazzling…a Captain Cute would be nice too.”  
“We’ll stick around and see what she’ll so, shall we?”  
“Sounds perfect.” He blinked at her. 

Sofia got both cats on her arms and cuddled them. Eric sat on her shoulder and seemed not to be interested in the cats. He enjoyed the warmth of his owner and of the heater while the cats enjoyed the attention and the couch. Her little zoo. She loved her tigers and her dragon. They brought so much joy in her life and gave her so much love.   
“Are you ready for the circus? The dragon and tigers show?” Sara entered the room and sat next to Sofia. She took Louise on her lap and petted her. “Hey you little tiger, how are you?”  
“Mad because you brought vegetarian food home and not something with a huge bone she can nibble on.”  
“Oh I’ll get you and your friend some nice treats later. Maybe we find some ham in the fridge.”  
“What will I get? I’m a meat lover too.”  
“You can have a slice of ham too.”  
“Thanks.”  
“And a kidney.”  
Sofia looked puzzled. “What?”  
“A kidney.” Sara looked Sofia in the eyes. “I take your offer. But! I haven’t talked to Greg about it so if he doesn’t like it, it’s his fault and nor mine. I want you to have the kidney anyway. It’s not right to punish me in case he doesn’t like your idea.”  
“It’s not a punishment for you if I don’t take your kidney.”  
“Yes it is. I’ve plans with you and for these plans you need to be fit and able to stay away from hospital for a few days. How are we supposed to spend holidays together when you need dialyses every two or three days? But I don’t think Greg will give s any trouble.”  
“Neither do I. A baby with you will make him the happiest man on this planet.” Sofia hugged Sara. “I’m glad you take my offer. Not because of my physical condition. Or maybe a little bit because of that too.”  
“I hope you’ll be fine soon. Detective Dazzling has to be back on the streets and kick some asses.”  
“Detective Dazzling? You spend too much with Felix. By the way, he doesn’t have a driver’s license, you both did something illegal.”  
“He doesn’t? Oh well, consider his drive today as his first practice. I taught him how to drive.”  
“He picked you up, he was alone in the car for a while.”  
“Cut him some slacks, you’re off duty.”  
“Are you defending a criminal action?”  
“Yes. It’s Felix, he drives very good, I’m sure this wasn’t his first time in a car. Plus he looks for vegetarian restaurant, I like him.”  
“He’s great, isn’t he?”  
“Absolutely. You should make him yours before somebody else takes the chance.”  
Sofia laughed. “Nice try. Why don’t I start with getting well again? When I’m back to my old me we can talk about anything else. And my first priority after the donation and the first weeks of work is a trip with you. A few days without worries, only living into the day, no pain and a lot of…fun.”  
“Fun?” Sara smirked.   
“Yeah, you know…riding a roller coaster, watching a movie, drinking cocktails and a sexy guy who will satisfy us. For you Greg and for me somebody else.”  
“Felix.”  
“Why do you want Felix for me?”  
“Because he’s good for you.”  
“He’s also good for me as a friend.”  
“No doubt about that. Why don’t we wait what will happen?”  
“Deal. First a new kidney then a new lover.”  
“And a baby.”  
“If you make my baby smug…”  
“Me? Never.” Sofia grinned.   
“I warn you.”  
“I like you.”  
“You love me.”  
“You think?”  
“I know.” Sara kissed Sofia’s cheek. “And I love you too.”

February

“I have to say I didn’t miss seeing you in a hospital room.” Felix and Greg entered the room the first time after the transplantation. Again Sara and Sofia had the same room. Both were in bed and hardly awake.   
“Why can’t you for a change have a little holiday trip with me instead of going with Sofia to the hospital all the time?” Greg kissed Sara.   
“Next time.”  
“How are you? Any pain?”  
“No, I’m pumped up with pain killers. A kiss might make it better.”  
He smiled and kissed her, held her hand. It has been important for Sara to do this, he understood and he also wanted Sofia to be better but he didn’t like the fact that Sara put her own life at risk.   
“Can I do something for you?” Felix asked Sofia.   
“Take away the pain and while you do that please also make the new scar disappear. After you make the one in my face disappear.”   
“It makes you look dangerous and tough.” Felix stroke softly over the scar that was an inch away from her left ear. The attacker had cut her there with something sharp, probably some kind of glass.   
“Scars make men looking tough and dangerous, women are only ugly with them.”  
“There’s nothing that can make you look ugly. This little smile and these eyes are enough to make you look beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the world.”   
“Stop it, Felix.” Sofia smiled. “I’m too drugged to deal with you and your charm.”  
“I like you helpless.”  
“Greg, kick him out! You’re the man in the room.”  
“Sorry, I’m too busy savoring the time with my girlfriend who is on her way to dreamland again.”  
“Can you stay with me until I’m asleep? I want to fall asleep with you.”   
“Sure.” He kissed her hair. “I stay as long as I’m allowed. And when you wake up I’ll be with you again. Bring you a gift, a plant and a donut; heart shaped.”  
“Sounds good. Love you.”  
“I love you too.”  
“Sorry Greg my eyes are falling down.”  
“That’s fine. Have some rest.”  
“Thanks.” Sara closed her eyes. She was tired, in pain and exhausted. The transplantation was harder on her than she had expected.   
“Do you want to sleep as well?” Felix tugged Sofia in.   
“I’m almost asleep.” Sofia answered   
“Sleep, you were brave, both of you. I take care of your two fluffy girls and the warm boy. Eric gets a lovely poster to feel like he’s in the desert.”  
“He’ll like that. Take care of yourself out in the streets.”  
“Always.”   
“Come on Felix, time to leave. We give the girls some rest and come back later. And I think there are some things that still needs to be done before they come back.”  
“Yeah, see you around chicks.”

When Sara opened her eyes it was dark in the room. There was no light coming in through the window and the hall of the hospital sounded quiet. She didn’t dare to switch on the light to look for something to drink. The last time she was awake there was a little bottle of water on her nightstand. Carefully she moved her hand in that direction. When the tips of her fingers touched something plastic she tried to grab it but it fell and made a rather loud boom.   
“Shit.”  
“Language please.”  
“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up.”  
“You didn’t. I was thinking very hard where my water is so I don’t wake you up looking for it.”  
“Shall we turn on the light, get our water and switch it off again? Before I destroy our room any more.”  
“Rambo.” Sofia switched on the light. “How do you feel?”  
“Like they gave me too many pills.”  
“For the pain.”  
“And sleep. What about you?”  
“Pain, fatigue, thirst. Guilty.”  
“Guilty?”  
“I’ve something that’s very important for and to you.”  
“Sofia, I thought we talked that through. There’s no need to feel guilty, I offered you the kidney because I wanted it that way.”  
“Nevertheless you gave something very important to me and didn’t want anything in return.”  
“That’s what friends are for.” Sara got out of bed and picked up her bottle. “You look like shit.”  
“Ditto.”  
“We should stop being in hospital all the time, it isn’t good for us.”  
“The next time we’re here it’s because you’ll have a baby in your arms later. A little Sara.”  
Sara smiled a bit. “That will take a while. And the baby will have two mothers.”  
“It will have your DNA.”  
“And will be in you for nine months. You’ll be its mother too. Prepare to be a godmother and the favorite babysitter.”  
“Sounds like I like it. Can I choose a name?”  
“Maybe Greg and I will consider your idea. When it’s time for that. First we get out of hospital, then back to work and after that we can talk about the pregnancy. Last but not least it’s time to find a name for the baby.”  
“Spoilsport. Sophie.”  
“A mini you? Forget it.”  
“What a shame. Thanks.” Sofia was released when Sara switched of the light. Somehow it had been too bright for her eyes.   
“Does your scar itch as well?”  
“Yes.”  
“I think I’ll christen it Sophie.”  
“Funny girl. I’ll call it number half a dozen.”  
“You’ve a half a dozen scars?”  
“Yes. Scary, isn’t it? I should only wear astronaut suit.”  
“BS. Didn’t Felix tell you that you’re very beautiful? I’m sure I remember him saying something like that.”  
“He tries to get into my pants. As soon as he has them and the rest of clothes taken off he won’t be interested anymore.”  
“BS again. I saw you naked – well almost naked. What happened to your ego?”  
“Bruised. Happens all the time when I get a new scar. Especially when it gets harder to hide them. At least this new one is there for a good reason, it saved my life.”  
“You christen it Sara?”  
“Maybe Geek.”  
“Nice name. So Geek is from yesterday, the one in the face is from the attack, what about the rest? If you want to talk about it.”  
“Not now. I want and need some sleep.”  
“Okay.”  
“We talk tomorrow?”  
“Sure.”  
“Thanks. Sleep tight.”  
“You too. And the next time you’re awake and thirsty switch on the light and get the water. Or I’ll wake you up by throwing my water through the room.”  
“Wake me up with a kiss, that’s nicer.”  
“I’ll think about it.” Sara smiled. She felt like getting over to the other bed and hug her friend but that wasn’t the best idea with all the infusions they had. Again. 

A hand stroke softly over Sara’s hand. This couldn’t be the nurse, the nurses were never so gentle, they just woke you up and attacked you with their injection.   
“Smile, that means she wakes up. Morning Gorgeous.”  
The voice was not Gregs like she had expected first.   
“Sofia? Why are you next to my bed?”  
“Because I was awake, got some real breakfast so we don’t have to survive on the hospital food. How did you sleep?”  
“I sleep better in your bed.”  
“Want to come over?”  
“The one in your guest room. Not your hospital bed.” Sara sat up and took the coffee, Sofia handed her.   
“I had you in my hot tube so the next goal is to get you in my bed.”  
“Tell Greg and see what he says about that.”  
“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled if I ask him on a date with you and me. Should make him the luckiest man in the world.”  
“Some people tend to be trustful.”  
“How boring.”  
“I know. Breakfast?”  
“Bagel?” Sofia held the bag with fresh bagel up.  
“Thanks. How do you feel?”  
“Better. You?”  
“I was able to get breakfast, take care of my investigator.”  
“Like you always do.” Sara pulled Sofia in her arms, rested her head on the blonde’s shoulder. “Did you pull the infusion out yourself?”  
“You mean like you did when you wanted to check if I was the one next to you? No, I asked a nurse to do that. I told her I had to go to the bathroom and wanted to do that myself. Lets say the bathroom tour was a little bit longer than I’ve planed. She’ll be back soon, get me my new needle and tell me off for the coffee and the bagels.”  
“You’re my heroine.”   
“That’s my job. After all, you saved my life.”  
“Your life wasn’t at risk.”  
“It was. Maybe not that much physical but psychological. The thought of what laid ahead of me made me very unhappy, I’m sure you noticed that even when you never mentioned it with a single word, what I’m really grateful for. You made me believe my life is still something worth.”  
“It was always priceless.”  
“Sometimes it didn’t feel like it.”  
“In that case I was a bad friend. And so were Greg and Felix. As a friend you have to make sure the other friend is fine, if you he or she isn’t and you don’t do anything to change that, you’re a bad friend.”  
“You did something. More than most people had done.”  
“I’ve to take care of my detective. Detective Dazzling.” Sara stroke softly over Sofia’s scar in the face. “It doesn’t make you ugly, Sofia. Not a bit. It shows how brave you are. Felix is right, your eyes and your smile are so amazing, a little scar can’t be more important than them. Plus your personality makes you beautiful from the inside.”  
“That’s your kidney that shines.”  
“I doubt that.”  
“I believe it for you. Thanks Sara.” Sofia kissed Sara’s hair. “I’ll be better soon.”  
“Whenever you want to talk you know where to find me.”  
“Next to me.”  
“And if not next to you I won’t be far away. My detective can’t take care of me when I wander off without her.”  
“Finally she got that. No more wandering away from the crime scene, that was worth the trouble.” Sofia laughed.   
“You’re nuts.” Sara pulled Sofia back in her arms and held on to her. She was glad to have a friend like the blonde. 

“Look at them! They’ve two beds but share one. What does the doctor say about this?” Greg asked amused when he entered the room and found Sara in Sofia’s bed. Both women had Sara’s laptop on their legs and shared a pair of headsets.   
“Don’t lose your infusion.” Sara repeated.   
“And try not to make this room sound like it’s a cinema.”  
“They’ll be happy when you’re gone.”  
“So are we.” Sara kissed Greg. “Did you get some sleep?”  
“Yes I went to bed right after work and had eight hours of solid sleep. But without you the bed feels incomplete.”  
“A few more days and I’ll be back home.”  
“You mean you’ll be back at my place.” Sofia protested.  
“Actually we both can walk a bit I could go home too.”  
“Why? We can’t drive and it would be a hell of a trip to take the bus. Or are you telling me that you have Greg and doesn’t need me anymore? I was useful when you were single and couldn’t walk but now that you’re taken and feel better you can leave me alone and have your old life back.”  
“All right, I stay with you.” Sara rolled her eyes.   
“Good. Any objections Greg?”  
“Not at all. I’m happy when she’s with you. This way I know you’re both not alone and take care of each other.”  
“Or Felix takes care of us. Where is he?” Sofia was wondering where their young friend was. It wasn’t like him to be late for his daily hospital visit. If he lost the time? If something happened to him? Should she call him? Make sure everything was all right?  
“He’ll be here soon. There was something he needed to get before he comes here. Don’t worry, your housemate is fine.”  
“Good.”  
“Do you worry about me this much too?” He looked at Sara.  
“What do you think?” Had he forgotten what the gang did to him? How she rushed over to be with him, cried because of him?   
“Sorry, of course you do. We both experienced what can happen. I take care of me, I promise.”  
“Watching and listening to you two makes me feel sick.”  
“Oh Sofia, don’t be jealous.” Sara got her arm around the blonde and kissed her cheek. “We love you too.”  
“Yeah, sure. Shall I leave the two of you alone? And make sure the nurses won’t come in?”  
“Don’t be ridiculous. We won’t have sex in here.”  
“Good. I didn’t want to explain why the nurse can’t get in. It would have felt like college.”  
“I can’t imagine you being the watchdog. More than the one who needs a watchdog.” Sara grinned.   
“You will never know. And there is nobody who will tell you about my teenager time.”  
“I’ll search your house for photos and your old diary. As a CSI I know how to find things. And my lovely boyfriend has a key to your house, he can turn it upside down while you are here with me.”  
“Keep me out of that.” Greg raised his hands.   
“Spoilsport.”  
“Thanks Greg, at least somebody uses his brain. And I don’t have a diary, never had.”  
“You don’t? Damn it, I thought that’s the perfect place to find out how I can impress you.” Felix came with some flowers inside.   
“Why is everybody trying to find out personal things about me?”  
“You’re an interesting woman.” Sara offered as an explanation.  
“And we want to make you happy.” Felix divided the flowers and gave one half of the bouquet to each woman.   
“Thanks. And you make me happy if you leave the decision with whom I share which information about my private life to me.”  
“Deal.” He took the radio from the window sill. “I’ve got something for you to pass on the time you have to stay in here.”  
“Some music? What did you buy?” Sara wasn’t the biggest fan of music but being in hospital makes you develop new interests.   
“I didn’t buy it.”  
“If you stole it I let Greg arrest you.” Sofia sighed.   
“Now you insult me, Detective. I never stole anything else than food.”  
“How do you get a CD when you don’t steal or buy it? Did somebody give it to you?”  
“I recorded it myself. Well, together with Greg. We managed to connect my guitar with his computer and I played a couple for songs for you. Before you left to go back to Vegas last year, you told me you’d like to have my music as a memory with you . So I tried to remember the songs you enjoyed most and played them. Plus Greg told me about three songs Sara likes.”  
“You produced a CD?”  
“We did. Yes. And I’m late because I had to pick up the booklet. Every album needs a booklet and Greg had some great ideas. Of course there’s a CD for each of you but I took just one with me.”  
“You’re amazing.” Sofia hugged Felix and kissed him on his cheek. “Absolutely amazing.”  
“You haven’t heard the music yet.”  
“Felix, I know how you play and sing, it will be great. Greg doesn’t make anything else than perfect things when it comes to music, so the quality will be great. And if you get a few more CDs I’ll sell them to the nurses and you make the first money with you music.”  
“Honey, I don’t want you as my manager, I want you as my biggest fan who sneaks into my bed to be close to me.”  
“If you want me to be your fan you shouldn’t sound like you are my fan.”  
“Impossible.”  
“Maybe we should leave the two of you alone and make sure no burse comes in.” Sara offered amused.   
“Yes.” Felix said.  
“No.” Sofia shook her head. “That’s not necessary because my little housemate will press nothing else than the play button on the radio.”  
“Ouch.”   
“She should give him points for trying really hard.” Greg sat next to Sara and pulled her in his arms. “I’m glad I don’t have to try anymore.”  
“What doesn’t mind you can lean back and don’t do anything anymore.”  
“I won’t. As soon as you’re out of here I’ll get us away for a night or two. A nice hideout with a lot of privacy.”  
“Sounds good.”  
“If I book a hideout with a lot of privacy for us will your tongue also dive into my throat?” Felix asked Sofia.   
“Do you think I’m that cheap?”  
“I can book an expensive place.”  
“No. And these two teenagers in their thirties might want to get their tongues back into their own mouth before I throw up. Hey! Sanders, get off your colleague!”  
“Jealousy, sweet jealousy.” Greg smirked and stopped kissing Sara.   
“Pay some attention to the music, he plays and sings wonderful. I love your voice, Felix.”  
“Now it’s my voice, in a little while it will be the rest of me too.”  
“I won’t comment that anymore.” Apparently he didn’t pay attention when she rejected him. The easiest way was to let him think whatever he wanted to think and be quiet. This way she could listen much better to his music. The first CD that had been made for her. This was the most special present she ever got. 

Sofia hugged Sara.   
“Guess what.”  
“What?”  
“I will return to work next week. Brass called and wanted to know when I can work again and I told him I want to be back next week. Finally. Being at home makes me crazy. And you’ll be gone too, what am I supposed to do here all by myself?”  
“You won’t be back in the fields, will you?” They were both able to walk without crutches in the house but it wasn’t enough to walk around crime scenes, leave alone chasing suspects. Sara had agreed to stay in the lab for a while until she was fit enough to get out in the fields. It wasn’t what she had wished for but better than nothing. Like Sofia she started to feel crazy in the house the whole time plus the fact she needed to work or there would be a serious money problem come up.   
“No, it will be the desk for a while. We can meet every hour for a coffee so we both won’t fall asleep over our files.” Sofia grumbled.   
“Not our world.”  
“No, not at all. But it will be only for a little while. And in one year I want to be at home again.”  
“Why?” Sara furrowed her brows.   
“Because I’ll be nine months pregnant and can’t work.”  
“Oh…don’t you want to work a little bit longer? I mean we haven’t been working for a while and it…”  
“Sara, we have a deal.” Sofia interrupted her. “I will give birth to your baby and I won’t wait a few years. Even if I don’t look like that, I’m not the youngest anymore and there’s no guarantee that IV will work the first time we try. So I give my body two or three months before I want the first IV treatment. You better have a look in the paper for a bigger condo for your little family – and make it close to my house, I want to see my godchild every day.”  
“You should recover completely.”  
“I will be fine in two or three months. And I’ll be over the moon if you and Greg move in with me so I can see little Sofia every day.”  
“Little Sofia?”  
“Yes.”  
“I told you that if the child is a girl, she won’t have your name. And Greg and me won’t move in, we want our own place.”  
“What a pity. For both.”  
“We’ll start looking for a little house next week. There are a few in the paper and one is even not that far away from your place.”  
“Define not that far away.”  
“Two miles.”  
“What? That’s half a world trip.” Sofia grabbed her heart.   
“You can walk that in less than half an hour.”  
“Too far away. Why can’t you buy the house next door?”  
“Because it’s too big, it’s too expensive and it’s not for sale. Are you having fantasies about us living all together in a big house?”  
“A castle to be correct.”  
“Gosh, I think you should stay away from work a week or two longer. Something is seriously wrong with your head.”   
“You can’t be that heartless.”  
“Are you daring me?”  
“I better don’t.”  
“That’s correct.” Sara got her arm around Sofia. “But if we find something that’s closer to your place and we like it, it will be on top of our list. I want the baby be close to its loving godmother. This way you can babysit much easier and Greg and me can have more nights out alone.”  
“And we can meet more often for dinner.”  
“You’re lucky that I like spending time with you.”  
“Of course you do. We share a house for a while, you enjoy it and if I think of our relationship at the beginning, we’re definitely making progress.”  
“Come on detective, why don’t we get inside and prepare dinner for our men? Playing house wives and surprise them with it.”  
“You want to be a housewife for Greg? I don’t think he wants you this way. He loves the independent woman, the little bitch who doesn’t do what people expects her to do but does what she wants and makes her happy.”  
“Sounds selfish.”  
“I think when people are more aware of things they like and want they can be happier and this way they make the people around happier. You can’t make your partner or a friend happy when you’re unhappy.”  
“Are you happy?”  
“You mean, do you make me happy?” Sofia smiled. “Yes.”   
“Good.”  
“But I still don’t like the idea that you move out. I got used to share my house with you.”  
“You’ll get used to share it with Felix and visit Greg and me. We won’t be too far away and we’ll have a guest room so you can stay over whenever you want.”  
“Now I feel slightly better.” An invitation that she could stay at Sara’s new place was better than nothing. Still not as good as having Sara here but it was clear from the beginning their time together in one house was only limited. And it was better to look forward seeing somebody than being annoyed one day that you see each other every day. 

Sara closed the door behind her and Greg. Another four bedroom condo that was for sale and was not what they wanted.   
“It was…some parts were easy to clean.” Greg said, took Sara’s hand and walked hand in hand with her back to their car.   
“Yeah, the six tiny windows are fast cleaned.” There had been only one window in each room, the kitchen and living room, none in the bathrooms and the whole condo reminded Sara of a place of death.   
“On the downside we have to switch on the light the whole time otherwise we won’t see a damn thing. Want the condo?”  
“I prefer to stay in my old condo.”  
“My apartment?”  
“Lets think about the condo again…”  
“Oh come on.” He bopped her. “My apartment isn’t that bad.”  
“It’s way too small for us and our baby.”  
“You talked to Sofia about when she wants to be pregnant?”  
“Very soon. It feels strange sometimes.”  
“Knowing she will be pregnant with our child? Yes. It’s strange and at the same time I’m happy she offered you this.”  
“I’m still not completely comfortable with that.” Sara handed the keys to Greg. When did she become the passenger? Usually it was her job to drive and he sat next to her. Was this a sign of…she had no idea…she slipped into a female role and let him take over? The big, strong alpha male?   
“She loves you.”  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“Sofia loves you.”  
“I don’t think so.”  
“She does. Not like I love you but like a sister. You became family. The question is who is the older sister?”  
“If you don’t stop talking bullshit I kick you out of the car. And you won’t move in with the baby and me.”  
“Without me you won’t have a baby.”  
“No, without Sofia I won’t have a baby. You are replaceable, I can go to a sperm bank and have a baby from a tall sporty guy with black hair and deep blue eyes. You know, a Mister Boombastic.”  
“Less than three months in a relationship and you’re dreaming of another man. Are you sure you love me and what a baby with me?”  
She put her hand on his. “Absolutely. And I want to move in with you. Shall we have a look at another house?”  
“We had only one on our list.”  
“On the official list.”   
“We have an unofficial list?” He looked suspicious at her. So far he knew only of one list and this was empty after the last disappointment.   
“There is another place we can have a look at.”  
“Why is this place not on the list?”  
“Because it’s slightly above our price list.”  
“How slightly?”   
“Like fifteen grands.”  
“Fifteen? That’s very slightly.”  
“I know. That’s the reason why it’s on the unofficial list.”  
“What made you put it on the list?”  
“The location.”  
“Is it in a golden neighborhood?”  
“Yes.”  
“Since when do you want to live with rich people?”  
“They not rich. Turn right over there and then the fourth street left.”  
“We’re not close to the rich and famous, we’re close to Sofia’s house.”  
“I know.”  
“How close is the house to Sofia’s place?”  
“Two blocks away.”  
“Now I know why you want to pay fifteen grands more.”  
“I haven’t seen it. We haven’t seen it.”  
“We will have a look.” He smiled. So far he had no idea how they could afford a place that costs more than fifteen thousand dollars over their limit but when it made her happy, he was happy to go there with her.   
“Nice house.” Greg stopped the car. “Looks expensive.”  
“It is expensive.” Sara sighed. Too expensive. “Okay, we look at it only because the last one was so ugly and it’s better to end the day with something nice.” She checked her watch. “We are on time.”  
“We had an appointment?”  
“Maybe.” She bent over and kissed him. “Come on, Honey.”  
“I won’t let you off the hook that easily.” He followed her. She had made an appointment to look at an expensive house without telling him.   
The door was open and they found themselves in a big hallway. “We could greet people here, there’s place for a few dozen coats, time for big parties.”  
“You are not into parties and you certainly don’t want dozen of people in your house.” Greg said.   
“Our house.” She corrected him with a smile. “Hello! Anybody here?”  
A big door was open and an elderly woman appeared. “Good afternoon, are you the Sanders?”  
“Yes.”   
Greg was speechless. Sara had announced them as ‘The Sanders’? She had taken his name. Like they were married. Sara had changed and he had to admit he liked the changes.   
“May I show you around?”  
“Sure. The hallway is enormous.”  
“Perfect for a party meeting. This is the kitchen.”  
“Wow.” The party could continue in the kitchen. There was a dinning table for a dozen people. This place was definitely too big for them.   
“The kitchen is perfect to cater big parties, there is a bigger table in the living room, this way. These two rooms are the only rooms downstairs – next to a guest toilette of course.”   
“Of course.” The white kitchen had cupboards so high that it was impossible for Sara to reach them without a little ladder. Two oven, a fridge the size of an ordinary wardrobe, two sinks, dish washer, microwave and a million other things that alone cost more than fifteen thousand dollars.   
“The living room.”  
The connecting door was a double door and Sara has to swallow another ‘Wow’. This living room looked more like a ballroom. There was a table for two dozen people, a huge couch, several armchairs, a log fire, pictures, a piano and huge TV.   
“We were blessed with seven children and with this living room nobody ever felt like stepping on each others toes.”  
“I think so.” Greg knew there was no reason to have a look upstairs, they couldn’t afford this house and it was definitely more than fifteen thousand dollars over their price limit. They had to add a zero after the fifteen thousand.   
“Shall we go upstairs?”  
“To be honest I don’t think we can afford your house. What I’ve seen so far it’s worth at least half a million and we don’t have so much money.” Greg said. “Which is a pity, I like this house and the area is perfect but there’s no way we can pay for it. So I think it’s better not to waste your time any longer, right Darling?”  
“Yes.” Sara knew he was right.   
“That’s a shame, I had liked you as the new owner.”  
“The price we can pay won’t come any close to the price you want. But this is by far the nicest house we have looked at. I’m sorry to waste your time.” Sara apologized.   
“Oh well in that case I hope you can find a place you like.”  
“Thanks.”   
They left the house.   
“It’s too big anyway.” Sara had one last look at the house.   
“Yes. And I’m sure you overlook a zero in the advertisement.”  
“Maybe. We need to find something smaller and slightly cheaper so we can buy our baby some Christmas presents and make a trip to Disney Land.”  
“You’re right. And as long as we’re together I don’t care if we live in a house that’s made for a dozen people or a caravan. We’re together, we’re a family, that’s all that counts.” They are? Greg just realized he said these words like they were already a happy family. Looks like he couldn’t wait until they were one. 

“I can’t make it on time, I’m sorry.”   
“Shall I reschedule the appointment?” The moment Sara realized she was disappointed that Greg couldn’t make it to their appointment she knew she had been away from work for a long time. As a CSI they barely went home on time, especially not when they had a case.   
“You said the house sounds perfect and it’s not in the paper. So we should take our chance to be the first who look at it.”  
“Yes but…without you it’s not our chance.”  
“I trust you, you won’t come up with another seven hundred thousand dollar house, will you?”  
“No.”   
“Good. Take your sister with you.”  
“Who? Oh, Sofia. Yes. Will you come along if there’s a chance you can make it?”  
“Sara, I’ve to pull a double. I might be home for late lunch, early afternoon tea.”  
“Okay. I miss you.”  
“I miss you too and I look forward to see you in the lab next week.”  
Sara closed her cell phone. Change of plans. She took the keys of her car and went down to the living room where she suspected Sofia. She found the blonde sitting on Felix lap, playing Playstation.   
“Am I interrupting something?”  
“Only a downfall of a woman who thinks she can play Tekken as good as I can.”  
“Why is she sitting on your lap?”  
“Because this is the second game she’s about to lose. When she lost the first one she owned me a favor and I chose having her on my lap because this way I’ve her very close. And I feel kind of like a big play.”  
“Kick her ass, I need her.”  
“Are you talking about sexual favors? Can I join?”  
“If I feel anything that indicates you’re excited I kick you out of the house, boy!” Sofia said not taking her eyes off the TV screen.   
“Danger added to the excitement makes me even more…interested.”  
“Greg can’t make it to our house appointment and I would like to have a second pair of eyes with me.”  
“Make it two pairs because in less than twenty seconds this lady isn’t going anywhere today without me.”   
“Dream on, boy. There’s no way I’ll lose.”  
“So you will come with me? One of you? Both of you?”  
There was no answer for a few seconds and then Sofia started swearing and Felix only grinned.   
“We both come with you. You’re lucky I let you go away with this. I could ask for a bigger favor.”   
“You would never ask for something I don’t want to do.” She kissed his cheek and got up. “When will we leave?”  
“Now?”  
“Okay. I get a coke, want one too?”  
“Sure.” Felix answered.   
“Me too. I can use some caffeine and there’s no time for a coffee.”  
“I drive.”  
“You don’t have a license, boy.”   
“That doesn’t mean I can’t drive.”  
“Tell you what: I get to choose a game, if you lose you’ll do the housework for a month and if you win I’ll teach you how to drive so you can get your license officially.”  
“She’s trying to make an ordinary dude out of me.”  
“She told me in hospital she likes ordinary dudes, they don’t cause so much trouble and you can rely on them. Sofia needs people she can rely on, it comes with the job.”  
“Okay, I get a license and I get an insurance and carry out the trash. Am I a good dude?”  
“Yes you are.” Sara pat his back “And if she doesn’t help you out with the driver’s license I’ll do it.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Are the two of you teaming up?” Sofia handed them the coke.   
“Yes. Lets go.”  
“Where is the house?”  
“You’ll like it, it’s not too far away. Four blocks down the road.”  
“Wow.”   
Sara smiled. “I knew you like it.”   
“I do. Lets see the house. Where did you find it?” Sofia wouldn’t admit it but she was scanning the paper whenever there were condos, apartments or houses offered. And she looked very closely when there was something close to her house.   
“That’s my little secret.” Like Sofia kept her secret about scanning the papers, Sara kept her little secret about driving around the area to find a place that was available close to Sofia’s house.   
Sofia’s first comment when they arrived at the house was: “Cute.” It was a two story house, not big but it had its own garden.   
“Yes. Small and not too expensive.” Sara got out the car and went to the house. The real estate manager was waiting in front of the house.   
“Hi, I’m Sara Sidle and these are Sofia Curtis and Felix…?” She just realized she had no idea what Felix surname was.   
“Just Felix. You have a wonderful house but the lot is a little bit narrow.”  
“Thank you. The garden is behind the house.”  
“I think we have a look at the house first?”  
“Will all three of you move in?”  
“No, they are only here to have a look with me. Shall we?”  
“Of course.” The agent opened the front door. A little hallway greeted them, no comparison to the huge house they couldn’t afford. A stairway on the right hand side got up to the second story.   
“Shall we go upstairs first?”  
“Okay.” They followed the agent.   
“The master bedroom.”   
“Nice.” Sara guessed the room was big enough for a double bed and a big wardrobe.   
“There’s a connected bathroom.”   
They had a look into the bathroom. A bath tube, two basins, a toilet and a shower. A window let some sunshine inside.   
“All right.”  
“Let me show you the other two bedrooms.” The two bedrooms were a little bit smaller than the master bedroom and had no bathroom. A second bathroom completed the rooms in the upper story.   
“There aren’t any possibilities to have a balcony?” Sara asked.   
“You can build one, I can’t see a reason why you shouldn’t.”  
“I want a house with a balcony.”  
“Shall we look at the kitchen?”  
“Yes.” The little smile in the corner of Sara’s mouth showed Sofia her friend whined about the balcony to show less interested. Everybody knew that when you liked a place too obviously the estate manager wouldn’t get down with the price.   
“The stairs are quite steep, that’s dangerous for the baby. You would need some extra protection.” Sofia added.   
“Right.”  
“And you have to carry it up and down a few times a day.” Felix completed, knowing what the two women were doing.   
“There’s a little storage room under the stairway.” The man opened a door to a little room with a lot of shelves.   
“Very handy.”  
“Yes.” Glad he showed them something Sara liked he went on to the kitchen.   
“The kitchen will stay, it’s quite new, the last owner bought it two years ago.”  
“Why does he sell the house?”  
“Because he wants to move to Los Angeles to become…to find a new job.”  
“Movie star?” Sofia looked at the old James Dean poster in a frame.   
“Yes.” The estate manage was obviously a little bit ashamed of that.   
“Most people dream of being famous, only a few of become famous and even less enjoy it.”  
“His decision might be your luck.”   
“We will see.” Sara had to admit that the kitchen looked nice. It was in red, something different and not a color she had chosen, fully equipment with a round table big enough for four. It was a stone floor and two big windows to the left and right gave them light and a good look at the road.   
The connecting door got them into the living room. No furniture but space for a couch, armchairs, a bigger dinning table and a few shelves. No log fire. Somehow Sara liked the idea to sit next to a log fire in winter, a hot tea in her hands, watching the snow. She hadn’t seen snow in Las Vegas last winter. Usually there were a few snowflakes.   
The glass door in the middle of the big glass windows gave them way to the garden. Nothing than lawn.   
“The former owner didn’t have the time for a garden.”  
“Yeah, you won’t get a part in a movie when you take care of flowers.” Felix mumbled. “How are the neighbors?”  
“Most of the neighbors are retired, it’s a quiet place.”  
“So they will give them a hard time when the child plays in the garden?”   
“No, I don’t think so.”  
“My grandmother got very cranky when I played and she tried to rest.”  
“I’m sure they have their own grandchildren around every now and then.”  
“The sun will be in the garden the whole afternoon, not the best place for a child and its sensitive skin. You have to build some protection.” Sofia’s eyes got stuck on two trees. What a perfect place for a hammock.   
“Do you like the house at all?” The manager asked Sara a little bit frustrated.   
“It’s not too bad but I think it’s not worth the price you ask for it.”   
“What is the price you think is right for it?”  
“I think you have to get down…if we take it, there are a lot of things we have to change so it’s safe for the baby…twenty thousand?”  
“Twenty thousand? Lady, why should I sell it to you and to anybody else?”  
“Because when you sell it to her you know you sold the house to a happy young family and that’s the American spirit. Provide a future for a family so they can settle down.” Sofia said. “Plus you don’t have to put it into the paper, save the money for that, the time for showing people around, with each day it loses its value, somebody might break something, the garden looks wilder and with every day we come closer to summer people notice more and more that there’s no air condition in the house what will make it an oven in summer time without a fresh breeze.”   
“If I go down twenty thousand we have to finish the deal today.”  
“I can’t see a reason why can’t do that.” Sara smiled. She liked the house and with the twenty thousand down it was a discount. 

“Hey.”   
“Hey.” Sara kissed Greg. “You look tired, want to grab another hour of sleep?”  
“No, I can’t. I’ve to be back in the lab in an hour. Big case.”  
“Okay.”  
“How was the house?”  
“Great. I bought it.”  
“You did what?” Greg dropped his sandwich.   
“I bought it. It was a bargain.”  
“The last bargain you saw cost more than we ever earn.”  
Sara got her arms around his neck and kissed the top of his nose. “I love the trust you have in me.”  
“How much?”  
“Do you want to see it?”  
“You don’t have the keys, do you?”  
“Of course.”  
“You bought it. Really bought it. Okay, why don’t we use my hour to go there and have a look at it?”  
“Are you sure?”  
“My girlfriend bought a house, I wonder how it looks. After all we will live in it and a lot of money will go in it.”   
“True.”  
“It’s close to Sofia’s house?”  
“Four blocks away.”  
“So it’s perfect.”  
“Kind of.”   
“Come on, lets see this nearly perfect house.” He took a can of soda, the car keys and got up. Five hours of sleep and a surprise instead of a dinner. His girlfriend bought a house while he was in an alley, looking for evidence   
In front of the car Sara took the keys away from him with a smirk and got into the car. She was back in control, it was her job to drive and he was her passenger.   
“Home sweet home.” Sara stopped in front of their new home.   
“So this is the home you bought…we bought?”  
“You look not that comfortable, Greg.”  
“Well, I might have spent all my money on a house I haven’t seen yet. See only now. From the outside…”  
“Do you like what you see?”  
“We’re not supposed to judge anything from the outside, it’s the inside that matters.” He smiled. “Keys please.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I’m the man I should unlock the door to our new home.”  
“Are you becoming dominant?”   
“Yes, I’m the man.”  
“You’re lucky I love you.” She gave him the keys and followed him to the house.   
“Your taste of hallways has changed, this one isn’t made for big meeting.”  
“No, but it’s perfect for a small family coming in, complaining about the rain, looking forward to dinner or a barbecue party with friends.”  
“I like this domestic parts you developed. Very attractive. Where is our bedroom?”  
“Upstairs with a connected bathroom. There are also two more bedrooms and another bathroom. We can have a guestroom or a workroom.”   
“Mhm.” He opened the door and looked at the room. “Not bad.”  
“You haven’t…” Sara exhaled when Greg’s lips ran over her neck. “…really looked…” His hands went under her shirt. “…at it…we haven’t got a bed in here…”  
“No need for it.”  
“You’re…good…” All right she didn’t want a bed anymore and she definitely didn’t want to wait until they were back to her condo and had a bed. 

“Want to go on a moonlight drive with me? To the desert, a lonely place, where we can be all by ourselves? Not that I have to ask because you lost the game and owe me the trip.” Felix smirked.  
“I said driving lessons and not sex on the backseat.”  
“Another game for that?”  
“No.” Sofia took her tea. “No more games for today. I have my tea, a book and go to bed. Buying houses makes me tired.”  
“You didn’t buy it.”  
“I was involved, I checked the house out and helped pressing the price down.”  
“True.”  
“See. Good night. Enjoy your game with whoever you meet online.”  
“I’m sure I’ll find a very sexy woman who is more than willing to spend some time with me.”  
“Sure.” She smiled and went upstairs. Time to relax. Felix was busy with his Playstation, Sara was at home, Greg at work, that left her to her book. Alone in her room, the whole house quiet, just like…when was the last time she didn’t hear a single sound in her house? Must have been a long time ago. Before the accident.   
The accident, something she managed to forget more and more often. Her body didn’t hurt that much anymore, she didn’t have to go to dialysis anymore and she was about to go back to work. The question was for how long was she back at work? She didn’t want to wait for a long time until she wanted to get pregnant. Sara and Greg bought the house, it was the best time to get pregnant so their family was complete.   
She had to talk about this with her parents. Not to imagine when her mother found out that she was pregnant. Not that the captain wouldn’t be happy about a grandchild but Sofia needed a moment or two to explain to her why her grandchild wasn’t her grandchild and why the baby Sofia would be pregnant with wasn’t her baby. Maybe she should let Sara explain everything. No, not possible. The brunette wouldn’t tell Sofia’s mother what happened to her. Marie would find out sooner or later but Sara would try to make it later. Was it possible to tell her mother she was pregnant with Sara’s baby because the brunette couldn’t have a baby without telling her all details? That would be difficult.   
A knock on the door got her attention off her thoughts.   
“Did you lose or win and want to go and collect your prize? In that case I hope she doesn’t live too far away.”  
“I didn’t play.”   
“Okay.” She sensed he was here for a serious reason. “Wanna come in, have a seat?” She petted on her bed.   
“Me in your bed?” He smiled a bit.  
“On.” She returned the smiled.   
“Good start.” He sat down, feet down, two feet distance to her. “How is your book?”  
“To be honest I didn’t read a page. I got caught in a thought…doesn’t matter. What made you stop playing?”  
“A good or a bad thought?”  
“A baby thought…doesn’t really matter.”  
“You’re unsure if you want to be the surrogate mother?”  
“No, I thought how I explain my pregnancy to my mother, how I can be pregnant and it won’t be her grandchild.” Apparently he wasn’t ready to talk about whatever bothered him so she gave him the opportunity to listen to her thought and share his problem later. At least she hoped he would talk to her.   
“How will you tell her?”  
“I’m not sure. The easiest way is straight forward but…”  
“But…she will ask you why you are pregnant with Sara’s and Greg’s child and not Sara.”  
“Exactly. It’s not my business to talk about Sara’s private life but I’ve no idea how to explain it to my mother without telling her about Sara’s…condition.” Like she had no idea how much he knew.   
“It’s all right, I know that she can’t get pregnant anymore because of the attack. And I know she lost her baby during the attack. We talked.”  
“Good.”  
“You’re a good friend, protecting her private life.”  
“I try. She’d do the same for me.”  
“I’m sure she would. And I’m sure she knows you have to explain it to your mother, using the truth because the captain doesn’t except anything else. Being her mother she can smell when you’re lying.”  
“She can’t!”  
“So you have secrets she doesn’t know of?”  
“Yes.”  
“I met your mother only a few times but I’m sure all the things you did as a teenager and weren’t supposed to do, she knows about. Just because she didn’t tell she knows it doesn’t mean she isn’t aware of them.”  
“Don’t scare me.” The thought of all the things she was sure her mother didn’t know of weren’t unknown scared her. What was ridiculous, she was a grown-up woman and not a teenager who could be grounded for whatever reasons. “It could be true what you say. Awful.”   
“She loves you, she’ll accept that you won’t talk about it.”  
“Hopefully. And I accept when you don’t want to talk to me about what made you not play with a stranger.”  
“I watched the news, there was a story about homeless people…people like me…how they…we destroy the cities beauty. And if we wouldn’t be loser, drunks or drug addicts we all had a job, social security and a house…and kids end up on the streets because they want drugs and violence.”  
“That’s what the newsman said?”  
“No, that’s what one man who got interviewed said. And I’m sure he represents what most people say.”  
She took his hand.   
“No pity, please.” He backed off.   
“A hug?”  
“That’s mean, you know I like your hugs but they will feel like you feel sorry for me and want to make me feel better.”  
“Your choice. I would like to hug you and I’m sad because this man made you sad because I think you’re a lot of things but not a loser.”  
“But I’m not what a mother wants for her daughter.”  
“I can’t talk about all mothers in the world but I know my mother really likes you. She told her officers to have an eye on you so you’ll be safe.”  
“And won’t steal something.”  
“I never mentioned to her that you bored some bread back in the days. Then again she’s my mother, she will have checked on you.”  
“Yes.”  
“She still likes you.”  
“I’m honored. And I want that hug.” He bent over and let her pull him into her arms.   
“Why don’t you get your book and read with me? We can read a lovely good night story like an old married couple.”  
“An old married couple doesn’t have sex anymore.”  
“But they’re still in love and take care of each other. You know a less patient woman would tell you to close the door and locked it behind you.”  
“Lucky for me you’re not only beautiful but also patient. I brush my teeth, get my book and come back. Do you want anything?”  
“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” She watched him leaving, got up and went into her own bathroom. There was more to come than what he had just told her. If he would share it later or not was something only he could tell her. She hoped he would. It was another reason why she offered him to read with her.   
“Am I dressed appropriate for a reading date?”   
“A boxer and a shirt? Yes. Come on in.”   
“In? Just gets better and better.” He slipped under the blanket.   
“American history?”  
“Yes.”  
“Why are you reading something like that? That’s not the average bedtime story.”  
“It’s necessary. I thought if I can rent your room a little bit longer I’d like to go back to school.”  
“You can stay as long as you want, I’m happy to have you here. You want to go back to school?”  
“I never finished high school so I thought a while ago I might do that one day. Why not this summer? If I give it an honest try I’m sure I can have my diploma next summer. It will be hard work but it will be worth it. What do you think?”  
“I think that’s a great idea. I like it.” She hugged him and kissed his cheek. “Do you want me to help you? Or is that a fight you have to fight alone?”  
“I’m not a superhero, I take help. Where are your strength?”  
“Chemistry, physics, biology – no stupid school boy comment about this- and engineering. What was your strength?”  
“Music.”  
“I should have guessed so. Oh well, you’ve a lot of talent, you will get a scholarship for a college with your music.”  
“Who said something about college?”  
“Isn’t it sad to waste talent?”  
“You think my talent is wasted when I play on the streets?”  
“No. But I think you can make more people happy when you play your music and they have time to listen and appreciate it. Buy a CD and listen to your music at home again and again.”  
“How often do you listen to my CD?”  
“Daily.”   
“Really?”  
“Yes. Like I enjoy sitting somewhere and listen to your music, having a coffee and let me carry away from your voice.”  
“If you want you get a private gig in the living room.”  
“Would you teach me how to play the guitar?”  
“Sure.”  
“Thanks. I’m sure you’re a good teacher.”  
“Want me to teach you something else?”  
“You can’t teach me anything in the area you think of. Use your energy for your book, Lover-Boy.” Sofia took her book and got her attention back to it. There was no need to pay more attention to his statement. If he wanted to talk about what else was bothering him, she was more than happy to listen. 

When Felix woke up he realized two things: First he wasn’t in his own bed and second he wasn’t alone. There was a very awake Sofia reading her book. Still reading her book? The sunlight outside told him it was very unlikely that she was still reading. Reading again.   
“Good morning.”  
“Morning…did I sleep here the whole night?”  
“Well, I didn’t carry you here so yes, you slept here. And yes, I slept here too. They keywords in both sentences is SLEEP. Nothing else. So don’t get too excited.”  
“I slept with you.” He grinned.   
“Next to me. Did you sleep well?”  
“Yes, very well. Can I sleep here more often?”  
“Only if you tell me what’s on your mind.”  
“You.”  
“I give you credit for not letting me blackmailing you. But I can see something is wrong, Felix and I wonder if there’s anything I can do to make your eyes beam again. Seriously.”  
“My parents…foster parents…made today my birthday only to make it very clear to me that it’s not important and they deliberately ignored it.”  
“Felix…” She wanted to say she was sorry. Something told her these words were wrong. “I feel like finding them and kick their asses. They didn’t deserve you.”  
“Apparently I didn’t deserve them.” His voice was bitter.   
“That’s so not true and don’t you dare to say that again.”  
“They told me over ten years that I was worth less than dog shit, it’s hard to forget these words.”  
“Did you ever celebrate your birthday?”  
“I don’t know when my birthday is. I know it’s not today but I don’t know which day it really is.”  
“Would you like to find out?”  
“You mean like getting an P.I. and let him find out these things?”  
“For example.”  
He thought about it for a moment. “No. No, thanks. My mother didn’t want me that’s why she left me. My foster mother didn’t want me, she wanted the money the government gave her for me. So why should I care about a date they made?”  
“Because it’s your life and there are some things you just want to know.”  
“No, I don’t. My past was nothing I want to remember, nothing I want to have in my future. If you want to help me to get over it, you tell me when my birthday is.”  
“I don’t know…”  
“Sofia, I don’t want you to guess my birthday. I want you tell me a date that means something to you and I make it my birthday. The birthday that matters to me.”  
“Why me?”  
“Because it would make me happy.”  
She sighed, closed her eyes and put her head on his chest. This was something she didn’t want to do. Felix couldn’t expect her to make a birthday up for him. He had a birthday, a real birthday and if he would only tell her to find out when, she’d do everything to give him all the answers he didn’t have. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life not knowing basic information about himself. Maybe his mother had given him another name than Felix. Then again, she didn’t care what happens to him. Or did she give him up because she believed she couldn’t be a good mother, couldn’t give him what he needed. He didn’t get any love, he got what he needed to survive, not more but much less. Sometimes the opposite of good wasn’t bad but well meant.   
“Tenth of June.”  
“The day we first met.”  
She looked surprised at him. He knew that? Just like that, not needing a second to think why this date and what happened then?   
“Why do you know that so quickly?”  
“Because it was a special day. You got me out of trouble. I stole a bag of apples worth less than three dollars, the shop owner wanted me in jail for a few years and you saved me. As a homicide detective it’s not your job to get a food thief downtown and talk your colleagues out of sending him to jail. Why did you do that?”  
“I heard you playing the other day and thought you are good. Later I saw you buying some food and water with the money you made, I couldn’t imagine that a junkie cares about salad and water but needs all the money for the next fix. And your arms looked like there had never been a needle in, you didn’t smoke the whole time, I felt confident that you took the apples because you were hungry. A soup kitchen – as I pointed out for you – is a better and more legal way to get food but I’m a very pride person myself so I can understand to a degree why you didn’t go there.”  
“Every time I went to a soup kitchen some dumb ass dealer tried to make me his mule. These places are an eldorado for them. They’re not accepting a no.”  
“Is jail a better alternative?”  
“No, it’s not a good place to be. Well, you get a bed and food, it’s warm and you have books. Actually it’s a good place during the winter.”  
“I hope your stay here is almost as comfortable as jail.”  
“I can’t remember I woke up next to such a beautiful woman in jail. Usually there were quite ugly guys in my cell. So this is much better.”  
“Good. Are you happy with your new birthday date?”  
“Yes. Why don’t I prepare some breakfast for us? Would you like some pancakes?”  
“Absolutely. Plain pancakes?”  
“Plain is boring, I thought more of banana chocolate, strawberry cream and whatever else I can find. Apple cinnamon for a late Christmas taste.”  
“Sounds like I don’t need lunch today.”   
“We’ll see about that. Maybe you want to come along, listen to my music and have a bite in the shopping center.” He wanted to get up but was pulled back by Sofia and got a kiss on the cheek.   
“Thanks Felix. You’re a wonderful friend.”  
“You’re welcome.” He smiled. Somehow Sofia always made him forget the bad things that had happened in his life and gave him something to look forward to. 

Middle of March

Sara’s hand found Sofia’s hand and squeezed it. They were both nervous and it wasn’t possible to say who was more excited. Both women sat in the waiting area of Sofia’s gynecologist. Three weeks ago Sofia got two eggs of Sara transferred and today they were here to hear if the blonde was pregnant or not.   
“Miss Curtis?”  
“Yes.” Sofia stood up. “Do you come with me?”  
“Do you want me in there?”  
“Sara, if I’m pregnant I want you next to me when I’m in labor.” She got her arm around Sara and pulled her with her.   
Sara’s knees felt like jelly. She was what supposed to do? She had to be there when Sofia was in labor? Not that she hadn’t been in labor with her own…not the best thought now.   
“Your fiancé can have a seat over there.”  
“Fiancé? Uhm, you got something wrong Doc Miller.” Sofia laughed. “Sara is my friend, it’s actually her baby, so she’s the mother and her boyfriend is the father. She isn’t my fiancé or girlfriend or lover…I’m still a single. Nothing has changed.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry.”  
“That’s okay, I could do much worse. She’ll be with me when I’m in labor.”  
“She looks a little bit pale.” Doctor Miller looked at Sara, her short brown hair had the same color like her eyes and Sara guessed her in her mid forties. “Did Sofia surprise you with the invitation to be with her in labor?”  
“Yes.”  
“Do you have a problem with it?”  
“No, I just need a minute to realize that.”  
“Honey, you saw much worse things than me giving birth to your child.”  
“And usually I should do it myself.”  
“You hold my hand, let me swear at you and cut the umbilical cord so my godchild has a very beautiful bellybutton.”  
“Okay.”  
“Lets have a look if you’re pregnant.”  
“I hope so.” Sofia waved Sara to her. “Hand please.”  
“Already?”  
“Yes. It’s a big moment, I need you in big moments.”  
Sara got up, stood next to Sofia’s head and held the blonde’s hand.   
“Thanks.”  
“Well, thank you.”  
“Boy or girl?”  
“Both?” Sara smiled.  
“Not possible. Choose one. A little Sara or a little Greg?”  
“A little Greg and I will make him have neat hair.”  
“Greg won’t like that.”  
“I’m the mother…or we are. Do you want your godchild having crazy hair?”  
“Kids are cute with crazy hair, they look so serious with neat hair and childhood shouldn’t be about being serious, it should be about fun.”  
Sara had to admit that Sofia had a point. Her own childhood wasn’t really about fun, her child should have all the fun he or she wants. A lot of toys, parents who cared and loved it and whatever else a child needed. What did a child need?  
“I’ll spoil my godchild, a few more months and I can be the worlds best babysitter.”  
“I’m sorry to spoil the fun but you need to add a few more months until you can become the worlds best babysitter.” Doctor Miller got up. “You are not pregnant, Sofia.”  
“That can’t be, I had…” Sofia stopped.   
“In vitro isn’t a guarantee to get pregnant.”  
“I know but…oh Sara, I’m sorry.”  
“Not your fault Sofia, I’m sorry I put you through this.” Sara hugged Sofia and tried to hide some tears. No baby. No little Greg, no little Sara. Their dream wouldn’t become true.   
“We can try it again.”  
“I don’t want you to do this over and over again. Maybe it will never work out and you’ll have all these pain for no reason.”  
“Doc, is there a possibility that I can get pregnant?”  
“Of course, we checked you and there’s no reason why shouldn’t be able to have children. It didn’t work out the first time, that’s no reason why it shouldn’t work out the next time.”  
“Thanks doc. When can we try it again?”  
“You should give yourself a little break and then we’ll try it again.”  
“The room wasn’t finished anyway.” Sara sighed.   
“You just started moving, now that I’m not pregnant I can help you. We can build a pretty cool bed for the baby, with a slide and a tunnel and a cave. Paint the walls, some cool comic figures and…am I taking over?”  
“Yes.” Sara laughed. “And I like it. Come on Beauty, I buy us a pizza and we make plans in the room to get more idea. What do you think?”  
“Sounds perfect. Doc, can I be back in about four weeks?”  
“Sure. And take your fiancé with you, maybe we can do something so she loses her fear of being with you in labor.”  
“I’m not scared.” Sara protested.   
“The fiancé is okay but not the fear?” Sofia asked amused.  
“Yes. A hot blonde as a fiancé is good, being a coward makes me a loser. So lets go home and tell Greg when he and me get married, he’ll have a second wife…kind of…sister in law?”  
“Lets go home, Sara.” Sofia got her arms the brunette and pulled her out of the room. There would be some time of sadness because Sofia wasn’t pregnant, they both knew it. For the moment they tried not to be too sad and when it was time to be sad, cry a little bit, they would be there for each other. There was no doubt about that. 

“All right, tell me how do you want the room.” Sofia asked. She and Sara were in the child’s bedroom. So far the room had no decoration, the walls were plain white and there was no carpet on the floor. With a pizza, a glass of wine and a huge seat cushion they sat in front of the closed door. Not very elegant but comfortable.   
“I want a special bed. Like we said before with a slide, a ladder to climb the bed and a tunnel. Something every child would enjoy. The only problem is a baby can’t enjoy those things.”  
“No, your baby has to be a certain age to enjoy a slide. That doesn’t mean the cool bed can’t be already here, ready to use. It’s a big room, you can have an ordinary small bed inside and later it can use the cool bed. And protection can make sure it won’t fall out of the bed. Where do you want the tunnel?”  
“Under the bed? It will be more like a cave, a place you can make dark when you pull a curtain. A hideout with a little chair, a shelf for the treasures and a lamp.”  
“If you don’t want to be found by your mother hide here. You know what would be very cool?”  
“What?”  
“When the slide ends in a little pool filled with these plastic balls. Like you have in shopping centers sometimes. Children can hide, play, jump, do everything they want in these pool of balls. I loved them when I was young.”  
“We can’t turn the room into a plastic ball pool.” Sara laughed. Also she liked the idea, she thought as well that these rooms were fun.   
“Not the whole room, just the area around the end of the slide. A food high, a yard wide and long. Or maybe two foot high so it’s more fun.”  
“Will you or the child be in there?”  
“Well…we both.” Sofia grinned. “As the babysitter I’ve to play with my godchild and use the toys as well.”  
“Thought so. First of all we need to paint the walls.”  
“Disney characters. Every child loves them. Wallpaper with Disney characters. So cool. I know a shop where you get them.”  
“Is your room secretly covered with Disney wallpaper?”  
“No. And if it is I wouldn’t tell you. Doesn’t fit a cool cop.”  
“Pen pusher.”  
“Lab rat.”   
“Not for much longer, I’ll be back in the fields tonight.” Sara couldn’t deny that she was a little bit excited. Finally she was allowed to leave the lab and work at a crime scene again. Her legs were stable enough to carry her for a while, she could bend and knee down. Grissom allowed her to go out for a two or three hours, after that she had to be back in the lab. He didn’t want her out the whole time and in pain the next day. It was nice of him to worry about her but she didn’t want to be inside anymore. She needed air!  
“Lucky you. Will you come along in your break?”  
“Sure.”  
“Cool. Back to my godchild’s room. What kind of lamp?”  
“Lamp? You want to plan the lamp?”  
“Sure. I saw a cute one, in shape of the moon. And maybe we can add some little one in shape of stars.”  
“You’re amazing, Sofia.” The blonde thought about things like the lamp for the room.   
“Why?”  
“Because you think about the baby and everything for it as much as I do. You’ll be a good mother.”  
“You’re the mother.”  
“It will have my DNA but it will be under your heart for nine months. That gives you a huge impact of the child. You’ll be his or her mother too.” Sara pulled Sofia closer. “And I can’t think of a better mother for the child.”  
“Thanks.” Sofia kissed Sara’s cheek. “We’ll give it another try very soon.”  
“Don’t put yourself under too much pressure.”  
“I won’t. But I’d like to be pregnant this year and not later.” The blonde stopped for a moment to think if she really should ask the question she had on her mind. “Do you think a lot of the baby you’ve…lost?”  
“Yes. Or no? I don’t know what is often or not often. I think about it, not every day anymore but I could be in my seventh months now. Knew the gender and feel it kicking. That’s…” Sara stopped and swallowed. “Hard.”  
“I believe that.”  
“If you send me to a shrink I hurt you and you won’t be the godmother.”  
“These words never crossed my lips.”  
“No, they didn’t. They crossed your mind. I’ll be over it one day, not today, not this month, not this year. What else do we need in this room? I think after we build a huge bed in our mind we should also get a small one in it. One, that is suitable for a baby.”  
“Plain white.”  
“That’s all? Plain white? No fancy ideas?”  
“These beds reminds me of prisons for babies. They’ve bars and, babies are caught in them and can’t do anything without help.”  
“Babies can’t do anything without anybody’s help.”  
“True. Okay, an ordinary baby bed.”  
“With one of these plastic things you put inside so the baby can see something like…I don’t know what they’re for. What doesn’t really matter because I will get one with photos of us. You, Greg, Felix, Jorja, Louise, Eric and me. This way the baby sees the most important people and animals right from the beginning. Maybe we need the grandparents too, what do you think?”  
“I think it’s a good idea otherwise the baby might be scared of the captain as she loves to scare people all the time.”  
“My mom will be like butter in the summer son around the baby. It’s your job to tell her she’s not the grandmother and has to stay out of the education of it.”  
“Your mother is the grandmother.”  
“Your mother and Greg’s mother are the grandmothers.”  
“And your mother. You give birth to the baby what makes you a mother too and your mother a grandmother. This way the baby will have two grandmothers around.”  
Sofia had the feeling that Sara didn’t want her own mother involved in the life of her own child and she didn’t want any questions about it nor talk about it. All she knew about Sara’s mother was she was in a forensic psychiatry facility after killing her own husband. There had never been a conversation about details and Sofia was sure it wasn’t a good thing to ask.   
“Can you help me figure out a way how I explain her why I’m pregnant and it’s not my child? I can manage not to tell it the guys at work but my mother won’t accept something like it’s not her business.”  
“Because it is her business, you’re her daughter. Your pregnancy is her business. Tell her the truth.”  
“Are you sure? The truth includes a big deal of your private life and I’d like to keep your private life private.”  
“Thanks, but the grandmother of my child is allowed to know why I can’t give birth to my own child. You can spare her all details.”  
“It’s my mother, she’s a police captain, do you think she’ll accept only half of a story?”  
“Yes. Because she’s a smart woman too.”   
“Okay. Thanks for making it easier for me.”  
“It’s the least thing I can do.” Sara looked at the window. “Do you think we can build a treasure chest? A big one for a lot of toys and sitting on, watching out of the window?”  
“With a golden lock? Absolutely! Do you want everything in pink when it’s a girl and everything in blue when it’s a boy?”  
“No! Like I don’t want only dolls or only cars. I think the child is supposed to make its own decision with which toys it wants to play. I loved cars when I was a child and my parents never wanted to give me some. Girls are supposed to have dolls.”  
“Does that mean I can get a basketball basket? When I was a child I had one over my door and drove my parents crazy when I played basketball in my room.”  
“You want your godchild driving Greg and me crazy?”  
“Yes.” Sofia blinked. “I’ll join the game and I’m sure you and Greg will too. Oh, oh! We need a carpet with streets and parks and buildings…you know, these cool things that look cities and are perfect to play with cars. Perfect for some cool police cars, playing crime scene and chasing bad guys.”  
“Is this carpet for you or your godchild?”  
“Both.”   
“What else do you want for your godchild?”  
“A desk with enough drawers for pens, paint, paper, books and everything you need to draw great pictures. That’s the perfect way to express your feelings.”  
“Out child will be spoiled.”  
“Yes.”  
“We’ll enjoy every single piece we buy.”  
“Absolutely.”  
“It will be hard to stop us from spoiling it too much. As a good mother I have to do that.”  
“Yes, you have to. As a godmother I can spoil it but not as much as a grandmother. And I’m sure my mother will spoil it. She’ll be retired in one and a half years, from that moment on I’ve to fight to see my godchild because I’m sure she’ll take over. Saves you the babysitter.”  
“Perfect.” Sara grinned. No professional babysitter could ever be as good for a child as a loving grandmother. 

“Is this a strictly women only meeting or is a man allowed too?” It wasn’t possible to see Greg behind the huge box he carried.   
“Do you need a hand, Honey?”  
“No, thanks. It’s only huge and not heavy. My last things, the apartment is empty. We can concentrate on your last things now.”  
“Means we’ve all our belongings here within the next one day. Have a seat, I didn’t call you because I wasn’t sure how long you’ll sleep.”  
“I woke up an hour ago. How was the appointment?”  
“Not good, I’m sorry.” Sofia sighed. “It didn’t work out.”  
“Not your fault.” He hugged her. “Thanks for trying. Are you all right?”  
“Besides that I’m not pregnant? Yes.”  
“And you, Sara?”  
“Sad but okay.”  
“I brought some cake, it was supposed to be a celebration cake. Now it’s a comforting cake.”  
“We knew the chances were higher that it doesn’t work out the first time. And to answer your question from the beginning: you are always welcome.”  
“Just wanted to be sure, maybe it’s a women only meeting.”  
“The father of our baby is always welcome.”  
“I told Sofia she’s the mother of our baby too.” Sara explained.   
“Of course she is.” He kissed Sofia’s cheek. “She carries the baby for nine month under her heart, she’s the mother too. Don’t you dare to give the baby your swagger if it’s a girl. I’ll busy chasing away boyfriends the whole time. And if it’s a boy, don’t make him so self-assure as you are, the girls will fall for that and I’ve to explain to other dads why my son is a heartbreaker.”  
“I can’t give birth to a not sexy baby, that’s impossible. It has something to do with me, it will be sexy, very sexy.”  
“And so smug.” Sara laughed.   
“Sexy. Don’t try to tell me you’re happy to see me and my sexy swagger in the lab again.”  
“Right now your swagger isn’t that sexy like it was before the accident.”   
“Greg, you checked me out?” Sofia asked amused.   
“Various times while you were a CSI and the first time when you became a detective. I thought I will never have Sara and should move on. You seemed to be a good alternative.”  
“A stopgap? I was nothing more than a stopgap? I don’t want a baby with this man!”  
“You won’t, I will.” Sara kissed Greg. “And I love him. I’m sorry I needed so much time to realize you’re the perfect man for me.”  
“Yeah…first Grissom, than Hank – which I’ll never understand – then Grissom again. Why these loser Hank?”  
“Because he was there, because I thought I can make Grissom jealous with him and I wanted to be with somebody.”  
“Why not me?”  
“Because I didn’t want to use for to make Grissom jealous. I liked you way too much to use for something like that. We were friends and I don’t give a friendship up for something I know it’s not the real thing. Going from friendship to relationship in December was something I had to think through to make sure I don’t ruin something very important.”  
“You didn’t.”  
“No, it’s right. There’s nobody but you on my mind.”  
“I love you.”  
“Love you too.”  
“Yuck, you’re both too much in love for me. I think I go home and get ready for work. Leave you love birds alone for a short while.”  
“We love you too.” Sara said.  
“Absolutely.”  
“Yeah, right. I see you later.”  
“Later detective. And say hello to Felix and his little girlfriend.”  
“He has a girlfriend?” Sofia stopped surprised.   
“I saw him with a blonde in front of the shopping center today. They didn’t seem to be strangers to each other.”  
“He never mentioned her. I will find out.”  
“Yeah, you’re the detective, go detect!”   
With both middle fingers up high Sofia left the room. There was no need to give Sara anything else for this cheeky comment. 

There was a bunch of roses waiting for Sofia in the middle of the table. She checked the living room, it was empty. Same with his room. Strange. Maybe the garden? She went outside, found her cats in the sunshine but no Felix. Did he leave the roses and went out with his girlfriend? Were the roses for her and he went shopping to get something else? Some pralines or sparkling wine? When he really had a girlfriend – and according to Greg he did – it was likely the roses weren’t for her.   
No roses, no lover, no baby. Not the best day. Sofia dropped on the couch, knees under her chin and sighed. She had been full of hope to be pregnant. Every morning she imagined the words of her doctor, telling her she was pregnant, had to cut down work, stay at the desk. No more crime scenes for a while. Now there was no reason why she shouldn’t go back into the fields. When her legs could carry her long enough. Sara would be back out, Sofia had to talk to Brass. He had to let her go out too.   
Her cell phone rang. The caller I.D. told her it was her mother. Not now. The captain would know after a sentence that something was wrong, something bothered Sofia and she didn’t want to tell her mother why she was sad. It was early enough to tell her about the planed pregnancy when it wasn’t a planed one anymore. When Sofia was pregnant and there were obvious signs that she was, she could tell her mother. Until that day she didn’t need another person who asked her all the time how she was, if she was sure that she wanted to do this. She knew what she did, was about to do.   
Why wasn’t she pregnant? What did she do wrong? Was it too much pressure? Was she too old? Wasn’t she in the physical condition to become pregnant? According to her doctor she was fine and there were no reasons for her not to be pregnant. So why wasn’t she pregnant? Millions of women were pregnant at the moment, some of them didn’t want to be pregnant. She wanted it more than anything else and it didn’t work out. Life wasn’t fair! She had to talk to her doctor again, maybe there were things she could do to make it more likely getting pregnant.   
A hand was placed on her shoulder. Sofia flinched.  
“Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you. I said hello but you were too deep into your thoughts.” Felix sat next to her, trying to see what was on her mind. “It didn’t work out.” Her face told him more than words. The way Sofia looked no happy soon mother to be looked. His friend wasn’t pregnant.   
“No.”  
“Next time.”  
“Hopefully. Maybe I’m too old.”  
“Bullshit.”  
“The chance that IV works decreases when you’re over thirty.”  
“Did your doctor say you’re too old?”  
“He said there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be pregnant.”  
“See. I think it’s the pressure you put yourself under. Shall I take your mind off becoming pregnant?”  
“That means you can’t flirt with me, you have to get my mind completely away from sex.” She knew a topic they could talk about. One of these days was his real birthday. The day he was born and left in front of a hospital. Or next day? They didn’t know for sure and Felix never celebrated any day in March as his birthday. Maybe it wasn’t the best topic. “Why don’t you tell me about your girlfriend?”  
“I’d love to tell you something about you but you’re not my girlfriend.”  
“The one you sat with in front of the shopping center.”  
“Are you spying on me?”  
“No, I’ve my spies.”  
“Must be Greg, Sara doesn’t like shopping.”  
“Maybe.”  
“Tell him the next time he should come to us and I’ll introduce him to Erin. She’s a friend, not my girlfriend. She plays guitar too and lives on the street. First we fought about the best spots, now we’re smarter and play together. Most people like duets and this way we can take care of each other.”  
“Why don’t you bring her here? Are you ashamed of the old woman you live with?”  
“You mean, am I afraid Erin will be jealous because I live with you? I can’t invite people to your place…”  
“Bullshit, it’s your place too, Felix. You live here, you pay rent, you have every right to bring a friend around. I trust you.”   
“Thanks.” He smiled and squeezed her hand. “I ask her if she wants to come along, maybe I can cook for us three. Or five when Sara and Greg want to join too.”  
“I’m sure they want.”  
“Okay, I ask her tomorrow. Did you eat today?”  
“Sara and me had a pizza while we sat in the child’s room and planed how it’s supposed to look. Why?”  
“Are you hungry again?”  
“Not hungry but I could eat a little bit.”  
“Good. Come on detective, I invite you to some light dinner before you go to work. As a pen pusher you’ve the time to eat while you’re working, which doesn’t mean you will do it. And you will annoy your boss you want back out.”  
“Yes. Sara will leave the lab too.”  
“Her injuries weren’t as bad as yours. Give yourself some time, it will work better with less pressure.”  
“Not only the work, other things as well.”  
“You’re a smart woman.” He placed his arm casually over her shoulder. “What would you like to eat?”  
“Meat.”  
“Mexican?”  
“Steak?”  
“Argentinean kitchen it is. Okay. I buy.”  
“You don’t have too.”  
“Don’t argue with your housemate.”  
“Don’t argue with your landlady.”  
“I’ve some roses for her, did you see them?”  
“I thought they’re for your girlfriend.”  
“Are you my girlfriend?”  
“Get out of the house, I’m hungry.”  
“I take this as a maybe and will ask later.”  
“Didn’t you say I shouldn’t have pressure in my life?”  
“That’s not pressure, that’s pleasure. A lot of pleasure.” He grinned. For a second he had been sure Sofia was jealous about Erin. Only for a tiny little second. But that was a start. Maybe he could make a real second out of it and one day a minute, hour, day, week…a life. If he didn’t try he couldn’t win. 

Early June

All Sara got was a short text from Sofia asking the brunette to meet her at five at her place. It surprised Sara because she and Greg were due to come over to Sofia’s place anyway that evening to celebrate Felix’s birthday. Not at five, at eight because Felix wanted to celebrate into his birthday. Well, it wasn’t his real birthday, it was the day Sofia made up for him as his birthday and he wanted to celebrate this day and not the one his foster parents told him.   
“Here you are.” Sara found the blonde in her bedroom, sitting on the desk.  
“You’re on time, thanks.”   
“Of course. Anything happened? We were due to arrive at eight. Did Felix decide to celebrate earlier?”  
“No, his party starts at eight, he’s still out. I told him not to go singing today, it’s his birthday, he’s entitled to have a day off but he insisted on going to the mall for a few hours.”  
“He loves singing, he loves playing the guitar, it’s not work for him.”  
“Looks like. Did you take Greg with you?”  
“No, he worked longer and needs some sleep otherwise he won’t make it until midnight. He came home after two.”  
“Ouch. Okay, you can tell him later.”  
“Tell him what?”  
Sofia got up, pulled Sara in her arms. “I thought of a lot of ways how to tell you but I think the easiest way is the best: you’ll be a mom in eight months.”  
“What?” Sara knew Sofia had a new IV treatment last month, she had insisted on trying it as soon as possible again. This time they tried not to be too exciting, told themselves there was a high possibility it wouldn’t work out again. Usually Sofia’s appointment at her doctor was next week.   
“I went to see my doctor today. The home pregnancy test was positive, it drove me crazy to think it’s false positive and I’m feeling the whole time for no reason. So I went there, let him check and because I didn’t want to give you any hope I might not fulfill I didn’t tell you. Now that I’m sure I can tell you: you’ll be a mother in eight months, I’m positive pregnant and it’s real. He told me to consider that the first three months are dangerous, it’s not seldom to lose your baby in this time so I’ve to make very sure that I keep it and we’ll be in labor early next year.”  
Sara pulled Sofia closer and kissed her cheek. Sofia was pregnant, Sara was about to be a mother early next year. It worked out this time and she and Greg were about to become a real family.   
“I hope these tears are tears of joy.”  
“Absolutely.” Sara sobbed. Sofia was pregnant. She would be a mother. It had worked out.   
“Good. No more swear words, your baby can hear you.”  
“Not yet.”  
“This is a smart baby , it can hear you, understand you and will remember everything you say. A very smart one. And the ears have started to form.” Sofia softly stroke her belly. There was a baby inside.   
“It has no other choice with these parents.”  
“Exactly.” Sofia took Sara’s hand and placed it under her shirt on her skin. “I will hurt everybody who’ll dare to touch my belly later. In contrast to most people I don’t believe that a baby belly is public property and if somebody dares to touch me I’ll arrest this person after I defended myself. You as a the baby’s mother are allowed to touch my belly because it’s important that you stay in close contact to your baby, same with Greg. Anybody else isn’t.”  
“Good to know. We’ll be a mother soon.”  
“You will.”  
“In a few weeks there’ll be evidence that you’re a mother too. The guys at work won’t like it when your sexy swagger disappears.”  
“Do you think my swagger is sexy?”  
“Not as sexy as mine is.”  
“Honey, you will so get a Vanity smurf next Christmas.”   
“Will I? That’s fine with me. How do you feel? Do you feel that you’re pregnant?”  
“No, I feel like every day. Sorry. It’s too early. Baby is oh point two inches tall…small.”  
“It will grow fast. Shall we name it until we know if it’s a boy or girl, it’s rude to call the baby an ‘it’.”  
“Right.”  
“Jessie?”  
“Sounds good. Hello Jessie, I hope you’re fine and feel comfortable inside me. I try to give you everything you need to stay for forty weeks and come out as a beautiful healthy baby. And I hope you wait with your first moves for the moment when your mom and dad are around so they can feel them too.”  
“That would be nice.”  
“And now I’ve to prepare some dinner for tonight or we’ll be hungry.”  
“How many people will be here?”  
“Felix said four of his friends will come, you, Greg, me and – believe it or not – my parents are invited too.”  
“Wow.”  
“Yes. He likes them and they like him.”  
“Do you know his friends?”  
“I’ve seen them when I met him at the shopping malls. But they’ve never been here, I told him to bring them around but he never did.”  
“He wants you for himself when he’s here. Every guest means sharing you. No man wants to share you.”  
“Do you want to share me?”  
“I do share you and that’s fine. You’ve a big heart, big enough for more than one person.”  
“Exactly.” Sofia kissed Sara’s cheek. And right now there were two hearts beating inside her. Hers and the one of the baby, Jessie. 

“Sorry I slept in.” Greg kissed Sara. “Hi Sofia, where’s the birthday boy?”  
“In the living room with his friends.”  
“A full house.”  
“Finally. I love it when this place is crowed with people, It reminds me of my childhood when I had here huge parties while my parents are away. You can’t imagine what we…I won’t tell you, you never know when they arrive and for some things they’ll still give me a very hard kick in the ass.”  
“Sounds interesting.” Greg grinned.  
“Not as interesting as Sofia’s news are.” Sara got her arm around her boyfriend. “Tell him.”  
“Tell me what?”  
“You’ll be a daddy in eight months.”  
“Really?” He stared at her. Of course he knew she had another try but like Sara he believed Sofia had her appointment with her doctor next week.   
“Yes.”  
“Wow! Cool! Grand! Thanks!” He hugged her just to let go of her immediately. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to crush you.”  
“Greg, I’m pregnant and not a fragile china.”  
“You’re allowed to touch her belly, it’s a special because beside you and me everybody will get arrested for harassment.”  
“I’m special? Good to know. Which week are you in?”  
“Sixth.”  
“So far I can’t feel anything but there might be a spiritual connection.” He put his hand on Sofia’s belly. “Hello baby, how are you? Oh I can’t wait until you’re here and I can hold you in my arms.”  
“We named it Jessie so we don’t have to call him or her baby all the time.”  
“Jessie? Okay, hello Jessie. You’re a very special baby, you have two moms. They are both great. Shall I join you during all the course you do? Breathing and these things.”  
“Of course you can join me.”   
“Thanks.” He kissed her and pulled her in his right arm while he had Sara in his left. “Am I not a lucky man? Two beautiful women in my arms and a baby.”  
“A baby?” Felix came into the kitchen.   
“Yes.” Greg kissed both women. “I’ll be a daddy soon.”  
“Wow, congratulation. That was why you were at your doctor’s place this afternoon.”  
“Are you following me?”  
“No, I cleaned your bathroom, that includes your trash can. When I emptied it your positive pregnancy test was on top. When you mumbled something about an important appointment I was quite sure it was about this test. I didn’t mean to spy on you, it just…fell in front of me.”  
“That’s okay. So yes, I’m pregnant.” Sofia said. “Sixth week.”  
“Cool.” He kissed her. “And congratulation to you, Sara. You’ll have a baby in your house soon.”   
“Yes. Time for us to finish the room.”  
“Why don’t you kiss Greg?” Sofia chuckled. “He’ll be a dad, doesn’t that count too?”  
“Sure it does but I’m not sure what Greg will do if I kiss him on the cheek.”  
“I’m not homophobic.”  
“Okay.” Felix kissed Greg on his cheek. “Congratulation for being a daddy soon.”  
“Thanks. You make sure the mother of my baby is fine at home.”  
“Of course I will.”  
“Sara, your boyfriend, the father of your child, was kissed by another man and he didn’t complain.”   
“Sofia, I won’t get crazy about this. You kiss me on my cheeks all the time, I do the same with you, it’s fine with him. So why should I care when he gets a kiss on the cheeks from Felix? I’d worry if he had a problem with this. The father of my child is supposed to be an open minded man and that’s what Greg is. He’s perfect.”  
“They are a cute couple.” Felix took the baking tray with pizza from Sofia. “You’re not supposed to cater the guests, you are a guest. Get in the living room, sit down and relax.”  
“Ditto.”   
“Don’t argue with me. Out!”  
“Somehow I’ve the feeling I don’t own this place anymore.” Sofia took her juice and left with Sara and Greg the kitchen.   
In her living room were five young people, three men, two woman. All friends of Felix who were like him playing music or doing other things for their living in shopping malls. Also Erin, the woman Greg and Sofia thought were Felix’s girlfriend, was there. Instead of Felix did she hold hands with another man, who introduced himself as Fred.   
Cal, a tall man with long black hair and a few tattoos played his guitar while the second woman, Marian, sang. Her long red hair hid her face. It reminded Sofia a bit of her youth. The other two men, Aaron a young man, who was not as tall as Sofia was, sat on the couch and next to him Andrew, the oldest one. Sofia guessed him in his early thirties.   
“Guys, that’s Greg, the lucky man who got this beautiful woman to my right.”  
“Hi.”   
“Hey.” He was greeted and everybody said their name.   
“Sofia, I’ve reserved a place for you on my lap.” Cal said.  
“I didn’t ask for this reservation, did I? So I stay here next to my best friend Sara.”  
“You have no idea what you’re missing out.”   
“I take that chance. Why does everybody try to hit on me?”  
“Sexy blonde.”  
“I know.”  
“You’re much more than a sexy blonde.” Felix smiled, bent over so that his lips almost touched Sofia’s ear. “Am I allowed to tell them that we’ll have a baby soon?”  
“It’s your evening, Felix, they’re here because of you.”  
“I don’t mind sharing the spotlight with you.”   
“Okay.”  
“Everybody, when I went into the kitchen to get you some pizza I was told a really wonderful news: Sofia is pregnant.”  
“You’ll be a father?” Marian asked.   
“No, I won’t. Greg will.”  
“I thought he’s Sara’s boyfriend.”  
“He is.”  
“I can’t have children and Sofia offered us to be the surrogate mother. It’s Greg’s and my child but she’ll give birth to it so it’s her baby too.” Sara was surprised how easily she could say these words. Maybe it was because she didn’t know these five people and there likely not ask why she couldn’t get pregnant. Plus she knew she had to learn to live with this, there would be more situations when she had to explain why she had a baby without being pregnant. So far she hadn’t told her colleagues and she planed to stay at home the first week after the birth of the baby to be there for Sofia.   
“That’s a nice thing to do.” Aaron said.   
“That’s what real friends are for. So please, no alcohol for me. Even when I looked forward to a beer with the birthday child. Next year.”  
“Deal. Shall I make you some salad? Pizza isn’t that healthy.”  
“I think we shouldn’t overdo it.” Sofia took a slice of pizza. “Pizza isn’t bad for me. Sara?”  
“Pizza is fine. You know what’s good for you and the baby, I won’t tell you what to do.”  
“Thanks.” Sofia put her head on Sara’s shoulder. She was pregnant, she had a party in her house and the next two nights off. Life was good. Finally again. 

“Young man, I need a serious word with you!”   
Felix almost dropped the bowl with the chopped vegetables when Sofia’s mother surprised him in the kitchen.   
“Marie! Don’t do that!”  
“Why? It happened exactly what I wanted. You were scared.”  
“You caught me by surprise.”  
“Do you have a guilty conscience because of something?”  
“No, I don’t.” He knew that she had realized her daughter hadn’t touched any alcohol the whole night. Being a mother she knew the most common reason why a woman didn’t drink.   
“Sure?”  
“Absolutely.”  
“So there’s nothing I should know about?”  
“Let me see…yes, there’s something. I’ll start school soon and have my high school diploma next year. And before that I plan to get my driver’s license. What else? I wrote a new song, try to save some money so I can go into a studio and made a CD. Anything else? Yes, I want to ask your husband if he can tell me a few things about the civil war.”  
“He can’t tell you a few things about the civil war. When he starts once he won’t stop for hours. I ban you from speaking about the civil war when I’m around! You can come along and talk to him when I’m gone. Everything else will get you a night in jail!”  
“Okay.” He laughed. It wasn’t his intention to talk to Mark tonight.   
“You haven’t told me everything, Felix.”  
“I told you all I can tell you.”  
“Sofia doesn’t drink a beer. She did that last month so I’m sure it’s not because of any kind of medicine she takes.”  
“The life of your daughter is something you should discuss with your daughter.”  
“If it’s also your business…”  
“Marie, why don’t you say what you think? You think Sofia is pregnant and I’m the father. I never had sex with your daughter. The closest thing to sex we had was a short kiss on the lips. That’s it. As far as I know you don’t get pregnant from a short kiss on the lips.”  
“No you don’t.”  
“Good.”  
“Something else, since you’re a fan of clear words: do you know that this one guy has a crush on you? The tall one, this wanna-be-macho.”  
“Cal? Yes I’m aware of it.”  
“He tries very hard not to show it but when he thinks nobody is paying attention his look says everything. I couldn’t see this look coming from you for him and after I thought you and my daughter are a couple I assume you’re not having a relationship with him. Not that anything is wrong with that.”  
“No, I’m not involved with Cal. And beside you, him and me nobody knows about his feelings. He told me a while ago that he has feelings for me.”  
“I saw you and him once or twice having lunch together.”  
“We usually do. I told him I’m in love with Sofia and even if I don’t have a chance, I can’t change my feelings towards her.”  
“The age gap between the two of you is quite big but you’re a good man. That’s what counts most.” Maria smiled.   
“Are you telling me approve with me?” Felix grinned.  
“I’m telling you that my daughter is allowed to do whatever she wants and if you don’t get the food out your guest will be hungry.”  
“Yes, Ma’am.” He took the bowl and left the kitchen. Marie stayed inside for a moment. She knew her daughter was pregnant but she wasn’t sure if this was the right evening to talk to her about it. Obviously there wasn’t a man in her life, none she had told her mother about. Maybe it was time for a mother – daughter – evening. That was a better set-up for a conversation about pregnancy. 

“I can’t believe we’ll be a family soon.” Greg had pulled Sara aside to have a moment alone with her.   
“It feels like a dream, doesn’t it?” Sara kissed him. Their baby was…well, not inside her but it was there. Only a room away and well.   
“Yes. I can feel this time everything will work out. We’ll be a family next year. With a baby. Our own child.”  
“And in a few months we can start arguing about the name…I hope you don’t fancy one of these strange names stars tend to give their children.”  
“No, I don’t.”  
“Good. Do you have a favorite?”  
“Greg junior and Gregoria.” He teased softly.  
“Not funny.”   
“Not? How comes?”  
“I like something like Jessie.”  
“Jessie James?”  
“Better than a computer nerd’s name. Like Bill Gates.”  
“What else do you like? Besides Jessie.”  
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the best to wait until the baby is born and we get stroke by a name. The most important thing is Jessie is healthy.”  
“True. I can’t wait to see you with Jessie in your arms. You’ll look so wonderful, I’m sure you’ll be a perfect mother.”  
Sara closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure about that. How could she be perfect when she never had anything close to a perfect childhood?   
“Sara, there’s no reason you’re not a good mother.”  
“You know about my childhood.”  
“I do and I don’t believe that it will make you a bad mother. You’re already full of love for Jessie, you love me, you love Sofia. You know how to love and that’s the most important thing for a mother.”  
“Thanks.” She kissed him and snuggled into his arms. Of course Jessie wouldn’t have the same childhood she had. Greg wasn’t like her father, he would never hurt her or Jessie. She knew he would be a wonderful father and she looked forward to see him with Jessie.   
“Sara, I thought about the time when Sofia goes back to work. I don’t feel comfortable to send Jessie to a babysitter.”  
“You have a better idea?”  
“Yes. I stay at home for a while and then we can give her to a babysitter. You earn more money so it makes sense when I stay at home, take care of her and come back later…like when she’s eighteen and goes to college.”  
“She’ll hate you when you scare away all her boyfriends. And he will hate you when you show all his girlfriends baby photos.” Sara laughed.   
“While we will sleep much better.”  
“Right. So you stay at home? For how long?”  
“What do you think? Three months? Six months? It shouldn’t be longer because there’s house we need to pay off.”  
“Six months are okay. The first six months are the most important in the life of a child. If you believe some psychologists.”  
“We’re scientists we don’t believe them but we can accept their opinion.”  
“True.” He could imagine himself being a houseman, taking care of the house, Jessie and waiting for Sara to come home. He could do that and he would enjoy that. The day with his child. Could there be something better in life?

Sofia got her arms around Felix and embraced him from behind. “Almost midnight.”  
“Yes.” He turned, stayed in her arms and pulled her closer. “Are you enjoying the party?”  
“Shouldn’t I ask you this question?”  
“I am enjoying it. Thanks for making it possible.”  
“You’re more than welcome. Do your friends enjoy the party?”  
“Yes. Like your parents, Sara and Greg.”  
“What did mom want when she sneaked up after you in the kitchen?”  
“She asked me if you’re pregnant with my child because you don’t drink alcohol.” He chuckled.   
“Of course. I’m surprised she hasn’t brought it up. What did you tell her?”  
“That your private life is something she has to discuss with you and not with me. She accepted it and I’m sure she’ll soon get you away to have a mother – daughter – day to discuss all the things she wants to know.”  
“Most definitely. So, shall we get the champagne ready?”  
“And some juice.”  
“Of course. I won’t touch alcohol anymore. Jessie has to be fine.”  
“I like the fact that the baby has a name already. When will you get the first photo?”  
“Next week. Want to come with me?”  
“Me?” Now he was speechless.   
“Sure. You’re part of Jessie’s life too.”  
“Of course I want to come with you. And wait in the waiting room like any good friend would do.”  
She blinked at him. Of course he would wait in the waiting room and not come with her to her doctor.   
“Yes.” Felix pretended to pout.   
“What about the sleeping places for tonight?”  
“Your parents said they take the couch, Sara and Greg are back in Sara’s old room and I offered the guys my room.”  
“Six people in one room? That’s cozy.”  
“Cozy can be nice and it’s better than sending them out. Especially when only one of them has a real home.”  
“Do you want to stay in my room?”  
“Are you serious?” He smirked. This was a question that didn’t have to be asked because the answer was more than obvious.   
“Honey, you have slept in my bed twice.” Or to be correct: he fell asleep twice while they were reading at night.   
“Two really great nights. Are you sure that’s all right?”  
“That’s why I offered it. With two people in your bed and three on the floor the room is full enough.”  
“It is.” He got two bottles of champagne and a bottle of orange juice. “We’ve got a date. Shall I bring my book?”  
“Today we should be tired enough. I won’t feel like reading.”  
“You work nights.”  
“I do and I sleep longer when I work. Today was no time for a long sleep in, I had to see the doctor and it was a good decision. Now we know we’re one more.” She stroke her belly. Jessie was there. She wondered when she felt the baby the first time. The first kick, the first look at a really bigger belly and – something she didn’t look forward to – the time when she and her toilet became very close.   
“Will the two of you come with me back to the living room and prepare the drinks for midnight?”  
“We will.” Sofia took two more bags of potato chips and followed Felix back into the living room. Ignoring the curious eyes of her mother she made her way straight to Sara, hugging the brunette.   
“Hey, are you all right?”  
“Absolutely. How about you?”  
“I feel like I want to hug the whole world because you’re pregnant. And I feel your mother’s eyes in my back like she knows I know something you haven’t told her. When will you tell her?”  
“Not today. It’s Felix’s birthday and my mom will know about Jessie soon enough.”  
“Eight more months. I can’t believe it, it’s so great.”  
“It is. Shall we have a look for all the courses we want to do next week? And I’ve an appointment with my doctor next week to get the first picture of Jessie.”  
“I’m sure Jessie will look great.”  
“Jessie has no other choice with these parents. He will be the most beautiful boy ever born. Or the most beautiful girl.”  
“True.” Sara resists the urge to put her hand on Sofia’s belly. If she did that Sofia’s parents would start talking about the obvious thing. Felix’s friend had congratulated to the baby and didn’t ask more questions, Sofia’s mother would be full of questions. Which was totally normal as she was the grandmother. 

“Shall we clink glasses with juice?” Felix handed Sofia a glass of orange juice. It was two minutes after midnight, he and his friends had already clinked glasses, also Sofia’s parents, Sara and Greg. She was the last one in his group.   
“Sure.” She clinked her glass to his. “Happy birthday Felix.”   
“Kiss please.” He offered her his cheek. Sofia pulled his head down and kissed him softly and briefly on his lips.  
“Happy birthday again.”  
“Now it is a very happy birthday.”   
“You’re cute.” She snuggled in his arms. It felt good being with him. He made her feel happy. “Are your friends having a good time?”  
“Yes, they love your house and asked if they’re allowed to come along more often. Especially your barbecue got into their eyes. In their mind they’re having a huge party next weekend with a lot of meat, beer and other not very healthy things.”  
“Legal things?”  
“Homeless doesn’t mean stupid. Bring something illegal to a cop’s house is very stupid. Plus your housemate doesn’t socialize with people who take drugs.”  
“I know that.”  
“Good. Tell them they can come here and have a party. In a few months I’ll join if I’m allowed to.”  
“Can you remember a time I didn’t want you around?”  
“No.” She laughed. “You lived with me not able to do a lot of things because of the attack and now I’m pregnant and in a few months won’t be to walk long distance, already can’t drink anymore and can’t carry around heavy things.”  
“For all these things you’ve a man in the house and I’m very sure when you’re due Sara and Greg will be here too. They will never stay at their place when you’ve like a week left. You and Jessie won’t be alone.”  
“No we won’t. How can we when you’re here until 2040? I won’t let you out of that.” Her words sounded more seriously than she wanted them. And she was surprised by herself that she meant it. She wanted him around for so long, she wanted him in her life, she wanted…it sounded wrong although she knew it wasn’t wrong. Maybe she should stop fighting herself. That would be better for her and for Jessie.   
“Good.” He kissed her hair. “Do I get a birthday dance?”  
“There is no good dance music on.”  
“Babe, you have so many musicians around, there’ll be music in a second. Do you have a wish?”  
“Something nice. You choose.”  
“I choose rock’n roll.” With Sofia in his arm he went to his friends. “Hey guys, I asked this woman for a dance, got a song for us? Some cool stuff to dance? And maybe we get the others to dance too. So far it looks like the birthday in a nursery home. Give me some fun and dance possibilities.”   
“What do you want? True rock?” Aaron asked.   
“True rock. And who could rock us better than Freddie and his guys?”  
“You got it, man!” Aaron grabbed his guitar. “Erin, we need some drums here. Can you get us some, Honey?”  
“Are the Stones legends or not?” Erin vanished for a few seconds and came back with two garbage bins and a stick.   
“Time to rock and wake up the neighbors.” Aaron made his guitar cry. Sofia had no idea when he got the booster here and when the music came out of the booster she felt her body vibrating. This was good – but was it good for her baby? She hoped so.   
“Did he call us old?” Sofia’s dad asked his daughter.   
“Yes.”  
“Marie, remember the summer of 1977? Los Angeles.”  
“Absolutely.”  
“Shall we show them what real rock means?”  
“Oh yes!”  
“What was in summer 1977? I can’t remember anything special.”  
“You were with your grandmother while we went to see ACDC. You’re old enough to know that now. I tell you Sofia, that was a hell of a concert. ACDC live in the Whiskey, wicked.” Her parents left her standing there with an open mouth. Her parents went to see ACDC? She was sure they didn’t tell her they went there, they told her something else and she sure knew that her grandmother didn’t know where her son went to. Grandmother Curtis wasn’t a fan of loud music.  
“That’s “We’ll rock you”.”   
“Rock chick.” Felix pulled her in his arms. “Like it?”  
“Yes…you’re too young to know but do you have any idea what my parents mean by ACDC in 1977 and whiskey? In whiskey?”  
“Are you kidding me? They saw ACDC in the Whiskey-a-go-go?”  
“They mentioned whiskey, ACDC and 1977.”  
“Wow! That’s so cool! One of the coolest bands in one of the coolest clubs ever. The Whiskey is a legend.”  
“Okay…I think I need to read up on this. Why do you know it? 1977 was way before your time.”  
“Because it’s famous. It’s the place where the Doors were discovered…you know the Doors, don’t you?”  
“Yes, I’m not that stupid.”  
“You’re not stupid at all. All you need is a little tour through rock’n roll history. We can do that with a lot of music.”  
“Sounds good. Maybe you’ll be a part of rock’n roll history one day.”  
“Maybe. Want to hear me playing and singing?”  
“Don’t I always?”   
He blinked at her and went to his friends. Time to play a few songs himself, keep the spirit of rock’n roll alive. 

“Are you sure it’s okay that your parents sleep on the couch?” Sara felt slightly guilty that she was back in her old room, in a comfortable bed while Sofia’s parents slept on the couch in the living room. It was pulled out and looked like a bed but still it wasn’t a bad. Usually these thing weren’t very comfortable.   
“Yes they are. Don’t worry.” Sofia opened the window in her bedroom. She wanted some fresh air.   
“Maybe Greg and me should…”  
“No. They are fine, believe me.”  
“Okay. How are you and Jessie?”  
“Fine. Tired. Happy. It was a great evening. Night.” The sunlight came up in the east, it was four and Sofia felt like she worked the whole night. At least she didn’t lose her rhythm this way.   
“Good. I feel a little bit bad because you have to abstain from so many things you like. Again. I know how much you hated the time in and after hospital when you couldn’t have a drink because of the medicine and now you can’t have your beer because you’re pregnant, it’s summer so the best time for beer and barbecue.”  
“I can have barbecues and I coped without beer. This time it’s a very good reason, a reason I looked forward to. Medicine is annoying, Jessie is a gift. I know less than a day of her/him and still can’t imagine a live without him/her.”  
“I can imagine.” Sara’s eyes became sad. It had been the same for her when she knew she was pregnant. Less than a day and caught herself stroking her belly, thinking of the baby and being happy. It was strange how something you didn’t really feel could change you, your life and your feelings so fast. And it was cruel how fast it could be taken away from you.   
“Sorry, of course you know what I mean. I didn’t mean to bring that up.”  
“I know. It has happened, I can’t change it and I’m very grateful that you give me a chance to have a baby.”  
“You gave me the change to have a life again. We’re more than even.” Sofia hugged Sara and pulled her closer. “Just to let you know: if I get pregnant again you’ll be the godmother. So make sure there’s a place for a second child in your home because you’ll be my first choice of a babysitter. Or Greg because I take you out with me for some serious parties.”  
“Sounds good to me. Greg wants to stay home anyway.”  
“Like forever?”  
“No, like half a year. He says he doesn’t want to give Jessie to a babysitter right away. It’s important for a baby to be with the parents.”  
“Am I allowed to be around until I can go back to work?”  
“Absolutely. Want to move in with us?”  
“I can’t leave Felix alone.”  
“Are you afraid he and his friends will have a lot of parties in your house?”  
“No, I trust him. But I won’t leave him. So I’ll come over when he’s out singing or at school and get back here in the evening, check his homework, learn with him and make sure he gets his diploma next year.”  
“Like a mother.”  
“I am a mother. Not his but I am a mother. I’m pregnant…it still sounds crazy strange great wonderful.”  
“You should tell your mother later.”  
“Yeah, later.”  
“Later like today.”  
“Oh, that close later.” Sofia laughed. She had the plan to talk to her parents later the day. When everybody was gone and they were alone or there was a quiet minute.   
“Yes, that close later.”  
“I talk to them. You go to your boyfriend, he looks like he misses you.”  
“Absolutely.” Greg came in the room. “Say goodbye to the stunning blonde and Jessie.”  
“He called me a stunning blonde, he’s so nice.” Sofia kissed Greg on his cheeks. “I love you too, Greggo. I promise I give Jessie enough sleep.”  
“Good. We see you later.”  
“Good night.” Sara kissed Sofia. “Sleep tight. Both of you.”   
“We will. See you both for lunch. Brunch. Whatever.” They made an appointment for twelve for lunch or brunch, they weren’t quite sure what it would be.   
She closed the door behind them and went to bed. That felt good. Maybe she was tired and needed her bed more than she admitted to herself.   
“Tired?” Felix came out of Sofia’s bathroom.   
“Yes. You’re supposed to be tired after a good party.”  
“True. Now, your last chance to have your bed to your own and make me sleep on your carpet.”  
“If I had a dog it would sleep on the carpet. I won’t make you sleep on the carpet, don’t be stupid.”   
“Just wanted to give you a chance.” He slipped next to her. “This is good.”   
“Tell me about it, my feet are doing a happy dance without moving.”  
“Are you fine? I mean was it not too much for you? Jessie?”  
“We’re both fine, thanks.”  
“Good.”   
Sofia switched off the light. “Are you comfortable?”  
“Almost perfect.”  
“What is missing?”  
“Something in my arms. Someone?”  
“One? Are two fine as well? You know I’m two people now.”  
“You and Jessie are perfect.”  
“Of course we are. It’s us.” She snuggled into his arms. “You looked happy tonight. I liked that.”  
“I was happy. I am happy. The first birthday I ever enjoyed.”  
“Care to celebrate the next one too?”  
“With you by my side?”  
“If that’s your wish.”  
“Can’t think of anything better.”  
“Good. I want to celebrate with you, the next one, the one after it and even the ones after 2040.”  
“You must like me.” He grinned.   
“I do. A lot.” She kissed his cheek. “And I noticed something.”  
“What?”  
“I don’t give a damn about your age.” Her lips found his and kissed him gently. Surprised for a second, not knowing what to do, he had to get himself together and kissed her back.   
Sofia realized it didn’t feel strange kissing Felix. She really didn’t care about his age, the thought of it was gone and all she cared for was him, kissing him, having him close and slowly letting her tongue dance with his, feeling his hands on her skin. It felt good, it felt right and there was no way she would stop it. Not as long as they both enjoyed what they were doing. 

When Sara came into the kitchen she found Sofia and Felix in there. The blonde sat on his lap, her nose sniffing on his coffee while she had a glass of orange juice in her hands.   
“Did you lose a bet again?” The last time she had seen them like this it was because the blonde lost a video game.   
“No. I sit here because I like it here. His coffee smells good, Jessie and me made the decision we don’t want coffee anymore. Otherwise I have to stay here while you, Greg and Jessie are at home, listen to Jessie’s cry and curse me for drinking caffeine. Do I get a coffee kiss?”  
“Sure.”  
“Whoa!” That was definitive another way of getting the taste of coffee on your lips and it was the first time she saw Sofia kissing Felix. It didn’t look like it was just a kiss like a birthday kiss. This kiss looked real.   
“Did I miss something? Like a relationship?”  
“No, you’re just in time to see it.” Sofia smiled, snuggled into Felix’s arms.   
“How did you change her mind?”  
“I’ve no idea. She kissed me and I was more than happy to repeat her kiss. Guess it’s three times lucky.”  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“It was my third night in her bed, this time was the lucky time. Two times I did nothing else than sleeping, this time I got a kiss. Or two.”  
“I’m glad you woke up, Sofia. A young man is very good for you. Believe me, I know a few things about a younger lover.”   
“Shouldn’t you tell me to stay away from him? I’m pregnant with your child.”  
“My child will be very happy when you’re happy and I’m pretty sure sex with Felix will make you very happy.”  
“I will make her very happy.” Felix kissed Sofia.   
“You! You lied to my last night!”   
All three turned and looked at the kitchen door. Sofia’s mother stood there, her hands on her hips, looking like a revenge angel.   
“You told me you and Sofia are only friends.”  
“I’m out of here!” Sara grabbed her mug of coffee and left the kitchen in world record. This wasn’t something she wanted to witness.   
“I let her go but you two will give me a very good explanation and all the answers I demand.”  
“First of all, mother, get your coffee. You’re awful before you had your first cup of coffee. After that we can talk.” Sofia squeezed Felix’s hand who was quiet and seemed to be relaxed. It wasn’t what Sofia had planed. She wanted her mother to know, she wanted to tell her and not be caught by her. Teenager got caught and felt guilty, she was far away from being a teenager.   
Her mother took her coffee, sipped on it and wanted to start but was stopped by Sofia with one look. First the cup of coffee then the conversation. No other way.   
“Talk!”  
“Mother, change your tone. You’re talking to adults and not teenagers. I won’t allow you to treat us like you treated me as a child or teenager. If you can’t accept this we won’t talk to you.  
Now, first of all Felix didn’t lie to you. When you talked to him last night we were only friends. It changed last night when I kissed him. For a smart woman I needed a long time to realize that age isn’t as important as feelings. Lucky for me he is a very patient man, never rushed me and was there when I found out what I want. Who I want.  
Second, I am pregnant and no, Felix isn’t the father. Greg is father of the child, who isn’t really my child, it’s Sara’s child. She can’t have children and it was my condition that I only take her kidney if she lets me give birth to her baby. Sara wants me to feel like the baby’s mother too, so Jessie – that’s how we named her or him for now – will have two mothers and a father. Sara’s and Greg’s DNA, my body for nine month. I’m six weeks pregnant by the way. You can be a grandmother, Sara would be very happy if you treat Jessie like your grandchild but that’s up to you. For me Jessie will like my child.   
Third, I didn’t know that I’m pregnant since yesterday and I didn’t tell you because I knew it makes you happy and you’ll have a lot of questions. Yesterday night was Felix’s night, it’s his birthday today so I’d appreciate it when you won’t give him a hard time and reduce your questions to the most important ones. No reproaches please.”  
“Anything else you want to tell me before I’m allowed to talk?”  
“No. Felix, do you have something to tell her?”  
“I love Sofia, Marie. You know that and I’ll do whatever I can to make her happy. If Sofia and me had been a couple last night and if that had been all right with Sofia I had told you. I never lied to you and I don’t plan doing so. You’re a smart woman, a very good police captain you know when somebody lies before the person does and I’m not that stupid that I think I can play you.”  
“Thanks Felix, I’m glad Sofia realized how good you are for her. That’s all I say about your relationship. As for your pregnancy: Sofia I’m proud of you. What you do for Sara and Greg is amazing. It will be very hard giving Jessie to them, I know you will do it because you do what you promise. You’ll be pregnant for nine months with somebody else’s baby, you make a wish come true for your best friend and I very much want to be Jessie’s grandmother. Jessie won’t have your DNA but these nine months will make him or her a part of you, that means a part of me. I do have a lot of questions, some of them you can’t or won’t answer because they have with Sara and Greg to do and I will accept no answer. For today I won’t ask all these questions, there’s only one that’s important for me at the moment.”  
“Which one?”  
“Are you happy?”  
“I am. I’m very happy.” She got up, hugged her mother and kissed her. “Thanks.”  
“You’re welcome, Honey.”  
“One more thing.” Sofia opened the connecting door to the living room. “Can you come in?”  
“Only if it’s safe.” Sara and Greg came into the kitchen.   
“Very safe.” Sofia got her arm around Sara, placed the hand of the brunette on her belly. “Jessie has another grandmother and a second father. Greg, Felix and me are together.”  
“That was about time.” Greg grinned. “Congrat, man.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Our baby will have two mothers and two fathers.” Sofia put her head on the brunette’s shoulders.   
“With us as mothers Jessie will be a very special baby.” Sara stroke softly over Sofia’s belly. Weren’t they all a wonderful big family?


End file.
